Sloth and torture

We spent the day in idle pursuits. A little sun followed by lunch and a cider, threats against one's personage that were bordering on cruel and inhumane given the temperature... which was way too hot for comfort... inside and out. Oh and the purchasing of a new bikini. Sighs and while that door was cranked open all sorts of bad things stepped over the threshold.

In this case it was the Wicked Weasel. For those of you unfamiliar with the iconic Australian brand they specialise in the microkini. That is to say scraps of fabric that do not really cover anything and then are often comprised of lace or sheer fabric. They are the truly pointless bikini. In fact they are the Clayton's of bikinis... the bikini you are wearing when you aren't wearing one.

The worst thing is that by His logic as one is trying to get sun on a greater surface area then they are ideal is hard to argue with...

Actually arguing with Him is generally pointless.

In fact He thinks it will be fun to go to Byron Bay for the day to actually visit the shop and try some on...

Oh yaaay! 

Medically mandated

Included in this post is some very rare pictures of one small slave doing a death defying act... and for a change it's not being a smart arse. What you are looking at is the first pictures of rotisserie slave... in that blasted bikini no less. Oddly enough it is not as one joked to preserve the eyesight of others from being blinded by all the whitenss, but on doctor's orders 'cos life conspires to make Him happy...

See when one scampered off to get checked out for coeliac disease...

Results that were inconclusive, ironically due to eliminating the cause of great pain and suffering from the diet in the form of gluten. It seems that without a steady supply of inflammation going in the system, the blood tests can't tell if you are or aren't. Apparently all that they can do to tell for sure is a bowel biopsy; a simple day procedure. To be honest at the mention of sharp pointed objects being aimed at oneself the need for conclusive results disappeared. In fact it was enough to make a deal with the doctor... one will live happily with an inconclusive result and just stay the hell away from things that cause gastric distress. She laughed... mutters doctors are natural sadists whatever the oaths may profess.

... they also checked all the vitamin levels in the body. Vitamin D came back in the red. Actually it was flat lined.

Yes in yet another ironic turn of events, like so many others who live in a land of endless sunshine, it seems one is Vit. D deficient. It's the new epidemic in this country. For years our government has been preaching slip, slop, slap and for a change the citizens have actually listened. No more are babies popped out into the sunshine...

Now here is an interesting bit of trivial for those that love such things....

Vitamin D is the only vitamin not found in mother's milk. They think it is because we as a hairless mammal evolved to synthesise our own Vit.D. All other mammals and birds ingest it from their fur and feathers when they groom themselves.  For this reason there is a school of thought that says we were not meant to ingest Vit. D...

In fact one whit has suggested that we would have just as much joy licking the family pet. This does, He quipped, give a new meaning to those people who love their dogs a bit too much. Sighs see what one lives with??

...but do what we were designed to do... bask in the suns radiance.

So here one is...

Basking...

In the suns radiance...

And His approval

Oh and taking Vit. D supplements too 'cos hedging bets is always a smart thing to do J

Trust in a BDSM relationship

Tottering off to work with a migraine one expected the worst. What happened was that it was so dead, Monday is a public holiday here you see, that the boss happily released one early. So sitting at the bus stop one sent Him a message to let him know one was on the way home. He replied... rather a strange thing given the hour... and offered to pick one up.

The light was so damn bright that, even knowing that there would be a price to pay for this largess, one took up His offer. After a quick shower one presented to bed for payment...

Lying there afterwards, one of us with a tender arse, one asked if that was payment in full.

Well for this trip yes was His response.

That is a very specific answer.

Well you have a very large debt, He replied. Years worth in fact. I didn't want you reneging on the rest of it.

See people...

That is the much vaunted trust you read about in action. You may note that it is very different from the flowery stuff you read about on the net. In fact it is as far from the romantic notion of trusting them to do the right thing as you can get. But, it is clear and concise communication...

Sighs you know romance is dead around here... along with loopholes L

Quote of the week

"In cyberspace no one can hear you scream"

Well that explains a few things...

Recycling

Some shirts arrived (finally... we think they were swimming part of the way) in the mail for Him.

This print one is particularly nice. You know, one added conversationally while fingering the fabric, these are a really good quality cotton. When you are finished with them they could be used for quilting. The print in particular would make a lovely quilt.

He glared over the bench; it's polite to at least let me wear them before planning it.

Oh you know... planner by nature... long term planner...

Mutters mind you given that He has shirts from his teens it could be a while before one gets the shirt...

Though accidents do happen...

J

Out of your hands

For a while now the hairdresser has been experimenting with new colours on the hair. Having moved she now has different products from when she had her own salon, so she likes to try things out. Subsequently the hair has been much lighter for a while now. Something that every single person has liked, commented on and suggested one might consider keeping.

The trouble is of course that He prefers it darker and so does the hairdresser. They collude you know... length, colour etc has been worked out by them over the years. She knows what He likes... something he can grab a handful of... and she works within those parameters. Sighs between those two one doesn't stand a chance.

So when the manager at work commented that she hoped one was keeping the colour, it seemed an opportune time to let her down gently and point out that her hopes would come to naught. But it's your hair she said sounding slightly bewildered. No, not really. It might be one one's head, but that is the extent of the ownership.

She stood there blinking for a second before saying you know, you are the last person I would have thought would be dictated to like that. Smiling one asked do you want to tell Him? After standing there for a minute she turned around and said well it is only hair.

See others can see that He is unreasonable J

Wardrobe essentials

You know one said conversationally, while peering at a very unappealing e-catalogue from a well known clothing store...

A company which has produced scary items for summer including a "lux leather visor"... OMG the 80's live... again. Only this time they have blended it with a BDSM tennis vision.

... A girl is going to need some shorts for summer. If we go for a walk, which we often do in summer evenings, it's going to be in jeans at this stage.

You can have some shorts He said

There was something in His tone that made the slave senses tingle. Um....  by shorts one means something that will cover a body

That's fine was the smooth reply

Um... cover more than the shorts that you bought for one last summer. Those don't actually cover the cheeks of the arse. We are talking here about shorts that come closer to the knee than the navel. For that matter one is going to need some new sports gear as well.

Sighs sweat and continual washing does kill sports gear... and much of it is getting too large to be honest.

His spark of interest died. You could just do what every other woman around here does He said in a resigned tone. Combine the two.

There will be no mumble pants worn here.

Are you sure He asked, sounding slightly disappointed

Positive!

See round here, so close to the beach, cafes and gyms and with walkways connecting it all, women tend to wear cropped exercise pants. All that Lycra in a land already filled with MAMILs. Of course they aren't on bikes and they aren't worn with long tops or any other form of coverage so you can see how they got to known in certain quarters as mumble pants...

You can see the lips move, but you can't hear what the silly cunt is saying J