The other side of animal farm

A man joins a group and posts a question so vague as to attract a bored person's attention. So wandering over to their profile they find the very embodiment of a "do me sub". Their profiles have a certain motif, an air if you will. Some of the key features are...

• A fetish list that is very specific
• A collection of pictures that have the same very specific nature
• A list of groups that... you guessed it... are about their particular fetish
• A few writings bemoaning how they have looked forever for the right fetish delivery system mistress

A state that they don't understand at all, after all they have contacted enough of them and their needs are simple...

• They want someone who will treat them like the dog/ pig that they are.
• They want a cruel mistress who will wield her whip at will and bring them to heel when they are bad.
• They want to be kept in a kennel/ sty and roll around in their own muck, eating out of pails and drinking out of troughs.
• They fantasise at length about how they will be poorly treated, humiliated on a daily basis and reduced to snivelling, grovelling beasts, all the while whimpering yes mistress.
• They wax lyrical about how beautiful mistress will be, clad in her boots and latex and how she will never be more terrifyingly real than when she comes towards them, with that look in her eye and a funnel in her hand.

And in return they will be loyal and faithful and... well, mostly just that. At no stage does there seem to be a promise or even a hint that they are willing to do the dull stuff, which might actually be of use to someone. There is never any mention of what skills they may have to offer. Or even of who is going to muck them out, lug the vast amounts of feed to them and hose them off on a regular basis. And make no mistake it will be regular, they want to get fat so they can be verbally humiliated about that as well.

They can't do that if they are running it off...

Though forced exercise in their fetish gear might be hot

Besides dogs and pigs don't clean or do anything practical... obviously rolls eyes

You know a bored person might be left to wonder how many of them would fare after the first crack of the whip lands on their plump little buttocks, but then boredom does lead to a certain level of cynicism...

Why else would Findom (Financial domination) seem so strangely just as a trade off for putting up with these cretins in your inbox day after day?

Sighs Fet, an endless source of bemusement :)

The age of aggression

It has been a fascinating week on Fet for a different reason than normal. Many groups started up with the idea that there was this mythical creature called freedom of speech. Now it was mythical because it is a Canadian site, so doesn't subscribe to the idea to begin with and well, the banks are involved, which leads to a whole raft of topics not being permitted any more. In spite of this reality many splitter groups were formed with the idea of uncensored speech.

They have the magic words clearly and proudly displayed in their title. It was their rallying cry as they stomped off, after some dust up with a group owner or mod, to create their corner of the world unfettered by such annoyances as endeavouring to not launch personal attacks. Hell many of them had threads devoted to the discussion of why the target was a complete dickhead.

Of course at the other end of the spectrum were those groups that prided themselves on being contentious. They were for adults who pulled on their big person panties before wading in. They were not for the inarticulate or the weak of spirit. Many cried this on their "about us" pages.

Well time moves on, the world turns and here we are a few months or years down the track...

We now live in a time of text speech, thought of the moment writing styles and my idea is equally valid, however inarticulate I may be, types of communications. One of the many flow ons from this is the complete inability to express an idea in a clear and concise manner. Hell some of them don't even try as they go straight to the personal insult. Now that insult is usually sparked by the fact that they feel that they have been attacked, usually by some member of the imaginary clique that dominates the board. One of the unfortunate side effects of that poor communication is the inability to actually read and comprehend the entire comment directed to them.

The end result is a load of butt hurt that is hurled back at the other person and then the pile up begins. Some try to explain why they are wrong, others just openly mock the inarticulate and some just stand there laughing. From there it goes from bad to ugly...

It often remains entertaining, but that is not what this is about.

This is about the recent rash of responses to the issue

Many of the groups in question are starting to censor and add restrictive rules to their groups in an effort to improve the general ambiance of the place. After all you can't have contention, which leads to increased membership, if the more extreme lifestylers are constantly told they are fantasists (which does get old) and they just go fuck it and go back to their quiet corners to talk amongst themselves. Neither can you have members being called fat pigs without appearing to at least attempt to uphold the TOU.

And in the blink of an eye the last round of splitters have become the establishment and a new class rises to take their place...

Another BDSM fairy tale

Once upon a time a man decided to become a king. So he created a kingdom which he opened to all sorts of minority groups and assorted fringe dwellers. And it was a fair land for those minorities to frolic and play and share experiences and pictures in. He looked out from his tower window and saw that the people were happy and he was happy too. His people loved him and were most grateful for what he had done.

Then of course the trolls across the river spied this land and thought oh we can frolic there and across the river they came. The king looked out of his widow and spied the trolls running amok and upsetting his frolicking citizens and was displeased. Arming his ferocious care bear army with crude weapons he sent them against the trolls. They were unilaterally dispatched... along with a few citizens. But hey... there are always a few civilian casualties in any war... collateral damage and all that...

And so the land was peaceful once more. Oh a few people mourned those who had been lost, but the rest of the citizens went back to frolicking once more and sharing and clicking links and... well... to put it crudely, generating income for the king. That is what citizens are supposed to do after all. And they grew complacent as they frolicked for they had a great king.

Then the king realised to make the next expansion of his kingdom possible he was going to need a more direct method of making money. So he did what any modern king might do... he got into bed with the banks. Of course the banks had stipulations... nothing for nothing after all. Some of those minorities who had been so welcome in the beginning would have to go. They were distasteful and no one wanted them... really.

So before the dolcett diners, the incest indulgers... all make believe of course... the animal lovers and the scat brigade could say WTF they were silenced and banned... along with any mention, however innocent, of children. Now some of the citizens remembered their history...

First they came for the communists,

and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist

Then they came for the socialists,

and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a socialist

Then they came for the trade unionists,

and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist

Then they came for the Jews.

and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew

Then they came for the Catholics,

and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Catholic

(Attributed to Pastor Martin Niemöller (1892–1984)) 

And wondered how long before they too were going to be in the firing line. But the rest of the citizens shouted for joy at this moral victory over their corrupt cousins... conveniently forgetting that most of them were breaking some law somewhere too. And besides some of that extra funding had given them more ways to frolic and find like minded folk.

As time went on the citizens grew complacent once more, as you do in a land of plenty. They started to forget about things like being careful with their information and hiding behind their nice safe profiles and they started to frequent other sites using the same pics and form off line relationships... with flesh and blood people.  Of course as things went sour, as they so often do when dealing with people, others used the king's land to out people using all that surplus information... sometimes with good intent and sometimes with malice.

Of course some citizens started to protest upon realising it could happen to any of them. After all they had thought that the rules applied to everyone... and would be upheld. When they realised that was not necessarily the case, particularly if it was done in the name of entertainment, the protests became howls of outrage. The king looked out of his tower window and was displeased. Not only were the cries for justice and fairness disturbing his frolicking, but they were upsetting the other citizens... the ones still busy frolicking and clicking and uploading content that was pleasing to his eyes.

So he shut down the protests in any way he could. He banned people from groups, he used their personal information against them to publicly out them once more in an effort to silence their support. He took away their voice by removing loves on journal entries to reduce their ranking... in favour of often vapid, stolen and plagiarised pictures and writing... oh and things supporting him of course... on the platform of popularity. He dispatched his care bear army, bearing bright and shiny new weapons, to route out the trouble makers and silence them. Protest pictures were removed, writings were removed, take down writs were issued and profiles disappeared in the dead of night...

See it is a sad fact that not all fairy tales end happily ever after

And not all kings stay pure and clean... though to many of their sycophantic followers that doesn't matter as long as there is frolicking and nudity and a place full of people just like them.

Are we tilting at windmills? Oh yes indeed. We will drown under the sheer weight of numbers.

That doesn't make what was done right nor does it make what will come justified

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

(Attributed to Edmund Burke)

Looks over the shoulder wondering how long it will be...

The handkerchief code: Why it failed

It marginalised people.

Many moons ago, largely in the Gay scene, a handkerchief code was created. It was beautifully simple; each colour represented what you were into and the side it was worn on represented whether you were a giver or a receiver. Now on the face of it the idea was a good one. When you were out and looking for something specific, it saved a lot of pissing around.

Of course as our kinks came out of the closet the code got bigger and bigger. These days it is so big it is unwieldy. Not to mention some of the hankies are just well... bordering on the fussy. Lace frills no less in some cases. Can anyone guess what those ones are for?

The real trouble was for those kinks that come under the heading YKINMKAYKINOK. Brown hanky... let’s just give that a wide berth... There is Mr. Brown in the centre of the room with everyone carefully avoiding him. See we like to pretend the kink community is one big happy family. We are all about inclusiveness... oh yes we are.

Failing that we can just studiously ignore the things we don’t like... it works for the ostrich. That way we won’t have to come up with a way to deal with the things that repel us, alienate us, make us feel anything remotely uncomfortable or challenge us to look at our prejudices and preconceived notions. So much easier for everyone... except those whom we are marginalising as we make ourselves into socially acceptable fun loving kinksters.

SSC FOREVER!!! 

Mutters really need a label for sarcasm...

A companion field guide to trolls

Chapter four:

Genus: Troll

Species: crudelis

Common name: The cruel troll or old snarky pants

Habitat:

This troll prefers groups with a high quota of new and occasionally, one must concede, stupid people. Perhaps a better term for them would be newpid... Either way the cruel troll will not usually be found in quiet little groups minding its own business... well not for long.

Life cycle:

Stage 1:

Nesting:

The cruel troll arrives and usually exhibits highly insightful observational skills. They often have the capacity to cut to the chase in few words because they are witty, bright, articulate and often well educated. In fact these talents often gain this troll a large following... well you have to admire skill whatever its form. The cruel troll is one of the few that actually has not only groupies, but groupies that form a posse... one that will willingly follow it into the fray.

Unlike many of the other trolls the cruel troll is very good at perception management. It will form relationships with people via memos to further its aims, and it will actively court those who might be useful to it in the future. Like many bright charismatic people, the cruel troll has excellent people skills. And it isn't afraid to use them.

Stage 2:

Adult developmental stage:

As time goes on though, those keen scrutinising skills are usually turned more frequently on other group members. The cruel troll exhibits less patience with those it considers inferior in some way as time goes on. Unfortunately it has no qualms about hurting the afflicted or about scoring points on those who are woefully unmatched. In some ways this troll is the biggest show pony of them all, as it plays to the audience and is never happier than in a large group for this reason.

Stage 3:

The metamorphosis:

The cruel troll is an unusual one in that the behaviour usually keeps escalating. In fact it is one of the troll clan that is most likely to be kicked out of groups and given time outs from sites generally. Mainly this occurs because they tend to cross the line from just vicious to slightly rabid behaviour. In some ways it is like they have no idea where the line is and just keep moving over it, until someone puts a halt to its behaviour.

When the inevitable removal happens, the fan base comes into play. They start lobbying the group and site owners to bring it back. Often the fans are quite unaware that not only have they been manipulated, but that they are giving the troll more pleasure than anyone should receive... no one needs that much validation.

Spotting the cruel troll:

Of all the trolls the cruel troll is the easiest to spot. They are always the mean fish in the big pond. In the beginning they may seem very bright... and say the things you wish you had the guts to say. The difference is that somewhere along the path they cross that line and just make you cringe... repeatedly. After a while it becomes apparent that they enjoy inflicting pain for the pleasure of it... theirs might one add.

Control and eradication:

If you have one of these in your midst the best thing to do is nip it in the bud. They are only going to escalate. Should you find yourself in a group with one do not encourage it... even a little... because once it knows it has a following it will only get worse. 

A companion field guide to trolls

Chapter three:

Genus: Troll

Species: insons insontis

Common name: The innocent troll... otherwise known as what did I do?

Habitat:

The subject can be found at the centre of a definition debate... often one they have started. Usually under the guise of trying to find a definitive answer to the meaning of life as other people know it. The innocent troll prefers groups that have a mix of developmental stages for this reason... more experienced members because they are most likely to get annoyed with it and beginners to take its side.

Life cycle:

Stage 1:

Nesting:

The innocent troll usually arrives all bright eyed and bushy tailed. Usually young or worse young at heart, it settles in. Often its first foray into a group is starting up a thread that is almost guaranteed to make the inhabitants weep and gnash their teeth. Its first words are usually "what is the difference between..." or "I don't understand how...".

Stage 2:

Adult developmental stage:

From there on in it is usually a sharp downhill decent. When things have turned into definition hell, it can usually be found curled in a foetal position whimpering why are you so mean to me? That is its defence mechanism and it will assume that position any time it is threatened. Actually it will assume that position any time it thinks it might get some mileage out of it.

Stage 3:

The metamorphosis:

Unlike the familiar troll and the provocative troll, the innocent troll remains a perpetual adolescent. It doesn't evolve and seems content to practise its routine ad infinitum. At best it will change groups, but the nature of the questions never seem to change.

Spotting the innocent troll:

Always looking for others to spoon feed it answers the innocent troll has no qualms about playing stupid. It is interesting to note that this troll has no search function capabilities... always something to watch out for. In fact it does "a bit dense" better than the rest of the species. Also keep an eye out for anyone curled in a ball screaming and relying on the soft hearted to protect it. Chances are you are looking at an innocent troll in action. 

Control and eradication:

The minute you hear "what is the..." those words are your cue to walk quietly in the opposite direction. Move away smartly is the best one can offer. The innocent troll is equipped with sticky little feelers that allow it to cling to anyone getting too close. How else is it going to suck you into its definition hell? 

A companion field guide to trolls

Chapter two

Genus: Troll

Species: provocare

Common name: The provocative troll... otherwise known as the huffy troll.

Habitat:

Preferring groups that are slightly homogenised or with a purpose, this troll likes nothing more than coming in and contributing to/ starting threads with views that are just slightly off topic or not in the remit of the group. Generally it is more attractive to those with an equally contentious voice and as a rule most of its friends are from other groups that it has passed through. In many ways it attracts them rather than rather than the other way around... rather like the Remora fish they attach themselves as the provocative troll passes by. In turn the provocative troll provides both shelter and transport to new grounds... 'cos it is always on the move.

Life cycle:

Stage one:

Nesting:

Finding a suitable group the provocative troll joins in, giving its opinions and at the first opportunity it launches with its agenda. This is usually something slightly to the left of what people are discussing and when asked to cease and desist it keeps pushing the envelope. Usually it employs imperative language and a manner guaranteed to get other group members hackles up; telling people they are wrong, while never conceding a point. It will stick to its beliefs regardless of any data or evidence presented, provided it is enjoying the argument.  

Stage two:

Adult developmental stage:

Tiring of the fun it will eventually abandon the thread, and often the group as well. Of course it doesn't leave quietly... at heart it is a show pony. It usually leaves while hurling final insults at members and those it perceives as in power, like group owners and moderators.  In fact it will often use words like censorship and claim to have been removed, while in fact it left a free agent. As evidenced by the fact that it often slips back in when no one is looking, to make a quick raid on a thread before leaving again.

Stage three:

Metamorphosis:

The provocative troll, unlike most of its cousins, will often stomp off to form its own group. It usually cites censorship as its major reason for being forced to take this step and it will try to come off as the reasonable one who was trying to make the group a better, more open place. Often the provocative troll will found the group on the principles of free speech, as it makes for a more fun place for it, and claim that there will be no censorship. That last one usually goes by the way side as it gets bigger and harder to control... but it usually waits until the dust has settled before is slips back in to do any adjustments needed to make its self look better.

Spotting the troll:

Probably one of the easier trolls to spot as it makes a name for itself by being in the centre of any dustups... usually the more contentious ones... and never backing off from an argument. Often it will start a barrage of new topics (which is completely opposite to the familiar troll who rarely starts them). In the beginning it is often just chalked up to an unfortunate style, but after a while a distinct pattern appears... seriously all those groups can't be wrong. It also exhibits a need to be seen as not only the voice of reason, but usually exhibits a slight persecution complex in the process. Its last words are usually in the theme of I'm being forced to do this by the unreasonableness of others...

Control and eradication:

Actually the provocative troll is one of the easiest trolls to get rid of. In a group it will always get pissed off by some perceived slight and leave. Now it may come back, but it rarely repeats the original performance, usually containing itself to viper raids, until a mod is around to ban it forever. Which means all you have to do is not join its group... unless you like a laugh with your uncensored blood bath. 

A companion field guide to trolls

Foreword

As a child one used to like the tale of "Three Billy Goats Gruff" and it was the first introduction to a troll. They were creatures of myth and mayhem that were prone to a meanness of spirit. Something their human counterparts seem to share and something that one has become more intimately acquainted with thanks to online forums. We think of a troll as being an antagonistic creature that stirs trouble. Honestly though one thinks there is more than one type that hangs out on forums, and this field guide will endeavour to catalogue and examine some of them.

Chapter One:

Genus: Troll

Species: consuetudo

Common name: The familiar troll... otherwise known as is that so and so back again.

Habitat:

The subject is attracted to those with strong opinions, who aren't afraid to voice them. At its heart it is a troll; it likes confrontation. It also knows that these people will not only provide it with the best cover and enable it to blend, but the best sport on the net. All it has to do is stand around and come out on the side of a potential friend... they will do the rest. Needless to say it hangs out in groups that will not only best serve its needs, but allow it to meet the right people.

Life cycle:

Stage 1:

Nesting:

Usually the subject appears out of nowhere, often exhibiting advanced communication skills despite its professed newness to the online medium. In fact this erudite communication skill is what attracts its victims... well no one wants to hang out with stupid sounding people... it makes you look bad. The troll comes along, has the right credentials to fit into a demographic, speaks the right language or talks the talk and is accepted into the fold. Inserting itself into a group with confidence and assurity, the familiar troll becomes friends with people. Often this friendship leads them to know the peoples real names and a wealth of little details via memos, IMs and the odd phone call... well knowledge is power after all.

Stage 2:

Adult developmental stage:

Things usually go along swimmingly until people start to ask too many questions. When this happens the troll will do one of two things. It will disappear, if it is not too invested in its character or it will stick it out. Trolls are predatory creatures, not well suited emotionally to being prey... unless they think the victim card can be worked to their favour. At this stage it usually gets ugly with the troll's friends defending them and rallying to its defence. Eventually though if enough heat is applied to the subject it will explode... leaving an egg like substance on people's faces.

It is worth noting that the victims of the troll often follow two paths themselves. They adopt a shame on us approach or they continue to believe that their friend was simply misguided and wanted to belong... a little too much. Well it is easier to give people the benefit of the doubt sometimes... Nixon came good in the end.

Stage 3:

The metamorphosis:

In this phase of its lifecycle the familiar troll makes a comeback. They change and evolve; often fixing the issues that got it spotted last time.

Example:

Say last time it was single and this lead to too many offers it couldn't keep ducking, a smart familiar troll might invent a partner to keep the would be suitors away. It is fast and efficient and besides, everyone loves a romance to share in. Now if this strategy was a bust, for whatever reason or if it was the thing that lead to its demise, then next time out they might invent a pre-existing partner... one that enables them to blend in with the target audience. Hanging out with married people? Invent a husband. Need a reason to for him to never be there? Oh he travels... a lot.

You get the idea... fast, adaptive and utterly cynical.

Spotting the familiar troll:

In spite of its adaptive skills a familiar troll can be spotted. See it is a creature of habit and besides, it believes in its own abilities and the gullibility of others... it's a bit lazy like that. When making a character it is good to stick to what you actually know... or are at least familiar with. What better template than yourself or someone you know; keeping some essentials like age, hair colour, children and hobbies, cuts down on a lot of work. It also replicates background details because on some level it embraces certain beliefs and interests.

What the familiar troll can't do very well is mask writing style because style is something that evolves over time with practise, and as such it quite ingrained and hard to correct, particularly on a fast paced board. This is in part why it will hang out with the same core members it did last time... If you have a sharp tongue it is better to stick with your own kind. It is worth noting that it might not get as close to some of the more nosey ones as last time, and it will avoid those that asked too many sharp questions. Sometimes it just can't resist a trophy though, and it will form a friendship with one or two who slighted it last time... well everyone likes a little payback.

Often what sets off the observers alarms is their perfect nature. Their talk is a little too good, their lives a little too perfect and their evident confidence a little too polished. They never seem to have doubts or meltdowns or even emotional difficulties with things. In short they are a little one dimensional in some ways... trust that little voice on this matter.

Control and eradication:

Now when you have one of these in your midst there is very little you can do. Any questions are either going to make it duck off or worse... stand its ground. This always leads to unpleasantness and off the cycle goes. No, you are much better either cutting it off from the intimacy it craves or watching the endless entertainment it provides... preferably from a safe distance. 

A BDSM Fairytale

A cautionary tale for all...

Once upon a time there was a girl who longed to be owned by a twoo master. In her search for Mr. Right she encountered a lot of Mr. Wrongs, but she persisted. She just knew that so long as she kept chanting her mantra of SSC, and kept practising her safewords and other spells of protection, he would come along and save her from the unworthy types, who had to be kept in check with assorted limits. Not that she didn't have a few limits she planned on keeping of course... a girl doesn't want to end up as some sort of a doormat.

Meanwhile to keep a hand in, and to put herself out there, she joined online groups. It started as a bit of fun, but as time passed she realised that some people needed help. They were obviously doing it wrong. In a blinding flash of realisation she understood that her mission was to bring the truth to her subbie sisters and protect them from the unworthy types that abounded online.

Now some of her sisters were just new and needed protection in the form of assorted mantras, but the really worrying ones were those who went out without their spells of protection. Not only were they obviously deluded, but they were dangerous to the others. Unfortunately no matter how she tried to show them the error of their ways, they remained resolute in their positions. Which was just madness of course... it was the only explanation.

In the beginning she tried being reasonable, but they wouldn't come round. They kept citing their long term relationships as proof their way worked just fine for them. In sheer frustration she resorted to the only tactic she had in the face of their stubbornness... she resorted to shock tactics. No kitteh or limb was left intact as she tried to convince others that at the end of their path lay madness. It was brutal, but somebody had to do it.

People changed, they broke their promises, they let you down... you couldn't just go round trusting someone like that. She knew this because it had happened to her. Why just last week her most recent online master had done just that when she found out that he was neither faithful nor sane. She had made it perfectly clear what her expectations had been and everything. Really what man in his right mind would actually think that being in charge was meant to be literal?

Disgruntled by this recent turn of events she returned to her online boards with renewed vigour and purpose. Somebody had to make a stand and show people the error of their ways. So occasionally people tossed around terms like troll... they only did it because she didn't agree with them. Besides it was a small price to pay for setting people on the twoo path, and she had the courage of her convictions.

The knowledge kept her warm at night, as she bemoaned to her likeminded friends how there were so few twoo masters out there. Obviously there was something wrong with them or they would have found her by now. It wasn't like she was hiding or anything. Sighing with discontent she peered at the computer screen...

And so gentle readers we take leave of our heroine, wrapped up in her bubble of fear and loathing. We can find her or someone just like her on any board. Just look for the kittehs being amputated. The twoo masters of it can get to that position about four posts into a conversation.