Misery loves company

This is a fucked up week with only one day off. So one did the mature, responsible thing and tried to do everything in one day...

And the plan was going well until lunch. That was when we ducked to our local Indian to find that they had gone from very good food to curry in a hurry. And found a way to make it cheaper...

So the rest of the day was spent on the couch swearing that no food without an ingredients list or clearly marked as gluten free would pass these lips ever again.

You know as a casual observation the body's response time is getting faster L

Mind you He's not looking too bright either...

What's that expression? A problem shared is a problem halved?

They were wrong on that one. It's more that you have two people on a lounge who are both miserable... only round here one of them is still hopping to it L

Sore loser

He sat there on the couch in that in between state of awake and about to fall off the perch. Having been up since the night before and with only a short nap in the late afternoon, it was hardly a surprise.

Are you going to sleep?

Yep, right after you ride me into a coma He replied

That's a bit presumptuous isn't it?

It a bit presumptuous that you think you have a choice He shot back

Yeah well frankly one's presumptions are preferable to yours.

Hmm... thinking about it, one can't help but feel that conversation was why one found oneself in a reverse cowgirl with both holes stuffed... in spite of the squeaks of protest. 

It is so not fair...

To send a message to your slave "suggesting" that she don the bunny costume tonight for a do over.

It smacks of taking a second bite of the cherry...

Mutters or a complete abuse of power

Happy anniversary or...

Life through the looking glass

The bus ride home was miserably slow and one deeply suspects they had put in extra red lights just for our trip. So stuck on it one's thoughts turned to other things. Our anniversary and the lack of a present.... mostly... seriously, furniture! We don't normally celebrate with gifts, but honestly after all these years each one is a blessing. Not such a blessing that you are getting the egg chair... sorry, just want to make that quite clear J

Anyway one thought it would be nice to do something...

So scampering home one tried on the very hot shoes that arrived in the post. Honestly a girl could get nose bleed in them... is that what it feels like to be nearly six feet tall? Oh the heady sensation as one looks down on everything. No wonder you act the king of the universe sometimes. Err... back to you...

Rushed dinner, made you lunch and hit the shower. And there one was luxuriating under hot water...

Having just shaved everything, still vacillating between the French maids costume and the bunny costume, though one was leaning towards the bunny costume. Leaning so far as to wonder which shoes would be easiest to do a bunny dip in when serving your breakfast. In fact one was even tossing up whether to go sleek stocking or fishnets...

... when you appeared through the mist and steam of the shower. You had got up early so we could spend some time together. This, for the record, is the greatest gift you can give...

But you spoilt the surprise.

Honestly you are like the cat, which always seems to know which part of the paper you are reading and sits right on that spot. It's like a sixth sense for being in just the right, or is that wrong, spot. You ruined the surprise...

So this way you get to read about it instead. Hope it makes you smile.

Happy anniversary my love...

And better luck next year J

Gratitude sex

It was a bad, bad night. It was one of those nights that was kicked off by waking up three times before He even got out the door. First it was the cat, who one might have forgotten to feed. Then it was Him looking for his belt and then just as one was dozing off again the realisation hit that one hadn't put salad in his lunch box. It was in the fridge crisping away. Not that He is that fond of salad, but the leafy greens do add bulk to a meal.

So out of bed one stumbled to assemble salad... with all the grace that a small dragon shrew can muster. Seriously wake a girl once shame on you, wake her more than that, hell will rain down. Of course after that much sleep interruptus the body decided that it was the pattern that we were going for and repeated it all night. By morning it was almost a relief to wake up for one last time. All of that bad night was followed by a very long day at work... strange how that seems to cap off everything.

 It was a relief to stumble home...

There one found that not only had He cooked the pork, but there was a note to say that he was getting up early so that one could go to bed. What was a small dragon shrew to do, but dine and make His lunch very quickly, hop in a shower and put on something short and slinky...

Not one of those damn costumes... a fact that He did note with a tinge of regret

And drag Him off to bed for a little guilt and shame sex... the best kind. Well other than make up sex... or so they say. Never having done it one can't say for sure.  

To be honest though it was more that here we were with an unexpected hour. It seemed a shame to waste it with sleep. Besides it's our anniversary tomorrow...

Which for the record is a crap anniversary... you get furniture for it. Nothing says we have been together too long like a nice piece of furniture. Though He probably would happily accept an original egg chair... who wouldn't? But honestly who thought furniture? They didn't even come up with a modern equivalency that was better. What the hell are you supposed to do, say here honey the new recliner I know you've been dying for? Ugghh!!!

Anal sex is way better... for the record J

The reward scheme down the hole

It seems that He has been busy... why does no good ever seem to come of that?

See one of the good excellent awesome and unexpected bonuses of losing the weight has been that none of those nasty, scratchy costumes He is so damn fond of fit. It has been halcyon days round here one has to say.

Those days ended today when one scampered home to find the bench neatly stacked with...

A nurse's costume... a costume that frankly one doubts will do anything good for His blood pressure

A replacement Alice costume... shudders quietly

And what looks like the cutest and this almost goes without saying... scratchiest maids costume ever. It even comes complete with a feather duster...

Sighs nothing good comes in threes does it L

We surrender

For two days straight we have been driven from our tiny domicile by the sounds of construction work. Yesterday it was the irregular pounding if bricks being demolished and being carted out and loaded into a trailer. Today it was the jackhammers being bought out. It seems the bricks were more solid than first thought. By some strange quirk of fate the internal cupboards, benches and BBQ of the outdoor entertainment area were better built than one of the boundary fences... you can tell where the previous owners priorities lay.

Anyway off we scampered driven by noise, dust and an overwhelming desire to be anywhere but home. As a result our only achievement for the day, other than some sex before crashing, was Him acquiring another pair of Converse for his captured breeding programme... which leaves one small slave with a dilemma.

How do you tell the boss person that they need to stop bringing home shoes?

There is no room at the inn or the shoe cupboard...

Well none that won't be at the cost of displacement of one's own shoes...

Mutters this could get ugly