The collar

There is a really funny thread going on over on Fet about how someone would feel about their ex owner's new slave was wearing their old collar. Dear gods that is complicated to follow isn't it? Anyway some of the points touched on are the fact that it's the master's collar, and subsequently his to do with as he pleases... and on and on it goes... right down to the idea that he is a cheap bastard. Most of it is nonsensical might one add.

See the problem is one doesn't get the whole collar thing at all and one speaks as a person sitting here looking at two that have been outgrown and with a third on its very slow way. A state that is entirely due to the postal system not the maker... just wanted to point that out. In fact one is sitting here waiting for it with rather mixed feelings.... mostly comprising of antipathy. On one hand there is the knowledge that the new one will fit better, weigh less and generally be more comfortable. On the other hand is the knowledge that if it doesn't arrive soon one is going to be stuffed back into the old one.

The trouble is all of that is balanced against the fact that one just isn't that thrilled about wearing a collar at all. They are hot, inconvenient, there is a whole collection of antique silver one can't wear 'cos of the damn thing... not to mention one gets to deal with idiots in the know on a daily basis at work. Meh the list goes on... but the bottom line is one would happily bequeath the damn things to anyone who wanted them... whether or not you are sleeping with Him. Not that one is actually allowed to do that. Tried it with the Njoy 2.0... several times... until He put his foot down L

In all of this there is the knowledge that most regard their collar as a huge symbol of something or other significant. It makes them feel something... owned, loved, cherished, acknowledged, worthy... the list goes on. And for the life of one... so don't get it at all. A collar is a practical thing for Him to grab one by... and a nifty way of torturing one small slave. He seems to derive no small pleasure seeing one stuck in the damn thing...

Sighs bad slave L

An ode to Freya

Swan vibrators: The trumpeter swan

A slender touch of perfection

We bought this quite a while ago... actually one small slave did... which might account for why it isn't enormous, lockable, steel or just plain scary to look at. And ever since that momentous event... it was the first time one has ever actually bought a sex toy... and one even managed to look past its neon pinkness... it has sat in its box due to lack of time. Well today was its day to shine or at least be charged up J

The pros:

• It is actually really quiet... not silent, but definitely discrete
• Waterproof... it can actually be used in a bath. Just imagine the possibilities, if you had a bath
• Silicone... what else with that pesky latex allergy
• Double ended with separate controls
• Has a press and hold feature so if you want more speed you just press down
• Rechargeable and has an easy to find water protected port
• Has its own transformer/ adaptors to make it suitable for travel 

The cons:

• It's pink
• Doesn't have any pulse mechanism so all you get is vibration... which isn't necessarily a bad thing 

Now what made one small slave scamper out and pay that much money for a sex toy you may be wondering...

Ah, well... it feels fabulous. From the velvety feel of the silicone to the curve that is completely ergonomic, it is a sex toy designed for a woman. It is light enough to not make the hand ache, but still has enough weight in the end that you aren't doing all the work. That long neck is flexible and the small head gets to all those interesting spots including the G-spot. The thick end is just a perfect size for insertion; while that narrow neck allows the muscles to grab onto it so it doesn't slide out of its own volition... you are getting the idea. In fact that shape makes the possibilities almost endless. 

Oh and that lack of pulse... honestly with a button you can just press down until you have the right amount of vibration.... oooooh.

Shall we say money well spent?

Pjur: Back door

Every so often people ask what kind of lube to use for the Njoys and anal sex in general. Without hesitation one always says Back Door by Pjur... it is the best thing one has found to date. Now if you are fisting or using enormous toys then something like Man's Grease or even Crisco is the best, but for long term, high friction situations like steel plugs or anal sex, you want something that is going to last and last.

The pros:

• Long lasting silicone
• Economical... a little goes a very long way
• Probably one of the thickest lubes found to date
• Has added jojoba extracts as an anal relaxant
• Condom safe

The cons:

• The pour top nature of the product means that eventually it ends up all over the bottle
• It makes everything slippery including that aforementioned bottle
• It is damned hard to get off things... including toys

Those issues are far outweighed by the pros. It even comes in a handy small size, that is perfect for tucking into a bag or pocket and allows you to take it with you everywhere. A small, but vital thing if you are going to take out or reinsert your Njoy for any reason... 

What not to wear

The sub-tropical storm edition

We are in the middle of the usual severe summer storm time at the moment. Out of nowhere the heavens open up with torrential rain, thunder and gale force winds... all of which combine to cause the twoo misery that is a sinus headache. Last night it cranked up the conditions and this morning there are branches all over the place and uprooted trees frantically being cleared away. The rivers are swollen and there is flash flooding that is causing havoc for many.

So...

A girl gets on the bus, sporting some rather spiffy snakeskin printed Wellington boots, quite sensible attire given the rain and enormous puddles everywhere. Short denim shorts... again sensible given that she had good legs and besides, just because it's raining doesn't mean it isn't as hot as hell. A fine knit jumper with short sleeves... why do companies produce those... nothing looks as incongruous as knits with short sleeves.  And last but not least, a bright green and yellow sombrero.

WTF?

It's blowing a gale.

The only thing that lurid fucker is going to do is garrotte you at the first chance. What on earth made you get up and think, today is sombrero wearing weather? Mind you it did make it very easy for the bus driver to spot her, so maybe it was more sensible than it would appear J

The return trip

We were lying in bed the other day... well it is the only place with air-con and that is the story we are sticking with... talking about some recent events. See we think of falling down the rabbit hole as sort of a one way trip. It is inconceivable to us that it might not be... after all these years we don't think in terms of leaving, more transmuting if the need ever arose. An event that makes us both uncomfortable because it would probably signify a major life changing event like illness... but less of that... shudders L

Luxuriating in the cool air, one languidly stretched and idly asked could you go back? To a nice little relationship of give and take... umm one where you get to do both, often in the same day?

Well if I had to... if it was because there was some need for us to do so.

Oh not us silly we will always survive... let's be honest, no one else would have us. No one meant if we ended... like full stop... never no more.

A strange and slightly guilty look passed across His whiskers... Probably not He replied.

It's probably a fair assessment... He's got very used to life on his terms. Mind you He always preferred life like that... who doesn't? But the urge to tinker with His partners was always there. It always ended badly... they hated Him for doing it. That is a thing one never got because most of the changes He tried to wrought were for their betterment... but that is a tale for another time.

Lying there one tried to calculate the odds of Him finding some nice, malleable girl... they weren't good odds at all. See He had such a laundry list last time he sent his desires into the universe. Seriously it was a long and very specific list, and it had some weird shit on it. Not kinky weird... more unusual in their specificity. Odd things like no close family ties... if you had met the ex's mother you would understand that one... but again one digresses.

See we are quite perfect for each other... though if one ever puts out a list again one is going to specify gender. Honestly, when one asked for a six foot blonde one thought is was understood they were going to be female... shakes head... life has a very warped sense of humour. No far better we stay together puddling around the rabbit hole...

Going down?

The return

They say the first day back after a holiday makes you feel like you were never away. Personally one is here to tell you that sensation started way earlier than that... from the minute one woke up... feeling tired and out of sorts on more sleep than the body had averaged all holiday. How does that work? Maybe the sensation of dread has some sort of a drag effect on time... but one digresses.

Now, one could tell you about the morning sex and heights of ecstasy... but one isn't going to do that. No, instead one is going to dwell on the sensation of being stuffed into a collar that is one size too small. What one won't do is try to articulate the pitiful choking sounds that one produced... mainly because there is no way to truly convey them... they were sort of guttural kkkkk sounds that we do not have words for at all in the English language. There is probably some cat out there that can do a perfect imitation, and probably the odd dog too...

And one was also going to gloss over His smirk as one did them. Though one did take a moment to point out that smirking was not the loving, supportive care that Fet was leading one to believe were not only mandatory, but utterly essential in a non abusive relationship.

He just smirked harder and then turned around and said it's all your own doing. Stop complaining.

Well! Hardly the caring attitude one was hoping for L

Seriously, it's bad enough He won't read books written by experts on this stuff, but his refusal to take time off work to attend the vital meeting and workshops that will stop him being regarded as some sort of a dangerous psycho... that is just a red flag to others. You know one does try and stop Him stepping into these obvious pitfalls that make him such a failure as a twoo master...

Bastard!

Ungrateful, uncaring bastard!