Monday, May 30, 2011

Lethargy and gluttony

Some days start very well... intent wise at any rate... and today was a good example. The intent was to goes walkies, do a little laundry, eat breakfast, go to the gym, have lunch and fool around a little. When we woke up it was pissing down with rain... there went walkies and laundry. We did manage to go to the gym, pick up lunch and make it home via the sea food markets for oysters. By which time the weather had turned beautiful... too late to do laundry of course.

By the time we got home and had lunch it was mid afternoon, and we were over the enthusiasm of the morning. Though He did manage to catch one in the shower for a little quick anal. We ended up in bed, scrubbed squeaky clean, watching a show that redefines the very definition of food porn. A show so embellished with saturated fats that the arteries grow hard while you watch it.

Our dirty little secret is Man vs Food. A program that showcases food that will never be found on our fair shores. In a land that is multicultural we have many nations. Unfortunately most of them seem to come from warmer parts of the world where the food is often healthier. We have Sushi Trains galore, but you can't find a hamburger redolent in grease and flavour if your life depended on it... and McDonalds barely counts as food let alone tasty.

So we sat there, eating an entree of fresh oysters and our garlic prawns on a bed of steamed rice and vegetables, marvelling at the capacity to consume that much grease in one sitting. We are utterly gobsmacked at the size of the portions too for that matter. Honestly it is a miracle you lot aren't dead from consuming meals that big... let us not get into the food itself.

He of course being ever practical, remarks that we could just get rid of the oven and install a hot plate and deep fryer. Judging by the whimpering noises that emerge periodically from the back of his throat, one suspects that He isn't actually joking. And He keeps glancing over hopefully to see if the idea is taking root... To which one can only smile and respectfully tell him dude that is so not going to happen.

Mind you the sight of all that grease is mesmerising and so terribly alluring... and the idea of smashing your seafood at your table seems like a lot of fun... and does pie actually come in that many flavours... and, if there are actually any Americans still out there alive, can you send us some of the Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch. Oh wait, maybe that was another show...

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