Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Beware of owners bearing gifts

He was out doing the grocery shopping, so while a load of laundry was on one nipped into the shower to use an illicit amount of hot water. A noise outside the shower door caused one to wipe off the steam and peer out. He was standing there casually leaning against the wall... in front of the towels so there was no avenue of escape. The whole pose was enough to make the whiskers twitch nervously.

Smiling He said I've bought you a present. Looking at Him with a sense of dread... well he had been in the produce aisle alone... one hazarded a few guesses. Umm... cucumber? Carrots? (OK that one was just hopeful). Smiling He produced the gift from behind his back. Look what I found He said triumphantly, and it was on sale.

It's a baseball bat one said sounding utterly dense. Yes it is He agreed gravely. Umm we don... the voice sort of trailed off there. He smiled encouragingly and said be grateful it's not a full sized one. Besides it's for later... after you've cooked breakfast.

As it turned out it was more after breakfast and a couple of bouts of anal... for which one was also suitably grateful. And it is amazing what you can find under a desk... the stuff that rolls under there is fascinating. So with that taken care of and laundry flapping on the line one was escorted to the bedroom... bearing a newly scrubbed bat. Fortunately some extra large condoms arrived yesterday... fancy that.

After applying a generous serve of lube He proceeded to stretch the arse by fisting it. He's thoughtful like that. And then He started to insert his new toy. A toy that makes the Eleven pale into insignificance on the anal stretching front.

The strange thing is that once it got to a certain point... a point that was actually making one call uncle for all the good it was doing... the damned arse just started eating it. The sensation of the bat being drawn in by the sphincter muscle was an amazing sensation. Adrenalin is pumping around the body, it is relaxed and you are feeling no pain. Honestly one can see why people tackle traffic cones.

So yes... sports equipment... far more interesting than watching a game any day J


Anonymous said...

OMG I am speechless...Ouch!

Lissa said...

I am in awe and have no words. I am anal phobic so I will continue to live vicariously through you.

Yeah... still no words.


xantu said...

Vicarious anal... now there's a term and a concept... all the enjoyment, none of the consequences.

Unknown said...

Yeah... Master came home with a giant sheet of EPDM (roofing material)... I am scared...

Master's piece said...

That stuff comes in large rolls doesn't it???