As some of you know it has been mentioned on this blog how much one hates the term power exchange. It's like a lot of BDSM terminology, borrowed from other things and woefully non descriptive when it is slapped on a human relationship. On the scale of things it's more annoying than the term lifestyle and not quite as bad as submissive being used as a noun, but we are not going there again... at least not this time :D
In yesterday's blog one mused on how this relationship is service orientated, something it never set out to be. But it's not just service that makes up the foundation of this relationship. It's also control based as well. Unless other people have to ask for permission to do things like pee and wander off in the pursuit of
Our relationship feels quite normal until you start scratching around. So many things are internalised that one doesn't think about them. Everyone gets their hair cut in the way their partner likes and only buys clothes that will please them and totters around in high heels 'cos He prefers them... right? It's not until someone starts waffling on using terms like power exchange that it comes to light.
The brain sort of has this moment where it goes what exchange? There was no exchange as one was frog marched, by the collar, away from the quilt one was contemplating to take care of His sexual needs. Apart from a few token buts (which were taken completely the wrong way) one is overwhelmingly grateful that He doesn't just remove the quilting altogether. It's like the gym. The underwritten proviso is if it interferes with His needs too much, it will be revoked.
You can hardly call any of that an exchange. Well you can, but it's not how others seem to use the word. There seems to be this idea that in exchange for that submission the other gets this dominance bestowed upon them. It's all so bloody civilised and doesn't look anything like what goes on around here.
Unless there is some opt out clause that no one has mentioned...
That's it isn't it?
There is one...
Sighs OK where's it hidden?