The real cost of climate control

Feeling decidedly not well (to be honest one suspects it was the heat that was causing the problems to begin with) one phoned in sick somewhat reluctantly. It was expected to hit over 40 (104) degrees and frankly the best place to be was at work. Well not work perse, more their air conditioning. See in that kind of temperature things become a little dangerous at home. The only air-con is in the bedroom.

There were early warning signs that things would not go well for one small slave. It started with Him asking would you do anything for me. To which one replied that while there might be moments of suicidal stupidity, there was no way one was going to say yes to that. We'll see was the cryptic reply.

And then it got hotter and hotter and hotter. And the bedroom was so dark and cool. Before long one broke and scampered in there... with Him. That was how one found oneself being fisted... in the arse.

Sighs the things we do for air-con in this climate...

More glass than class

There are that many glass toys around here... some of them never used... for a reason we will get to shortly... they almost warrant a box of their own. Some of them are fabulous, some of them... usually ones chosen by Him might one add... the arse just looks at and goes oh heck no. And it's not always the ones you think are going to be a problem.

As you can see this little baby isn't that big, it's only about 5cm (about 2"), but it would not go in past a certain point. And it was so bloody frustrating... the damn arse ate a bat like it was the contents of a desert trolley and yet looked at this and just clammed up L

Today it was of a different persuasion... maybe it was feeling obliging after the lovely juicer of yesterday...

Today it slid in... A little too fast actually... which nearly brought a tear to the eyes... and had to be pulled out while the arse adjusted itself. Well more He adjusted it by putting most of his hand up there. But after that, it slid in without a complaint.

It was a peculiar feeling... like the MEO stretching rings it felt like one was opened up in all the wrong places. Yes, the arse does have views on what feels right... no, it doesn't get much say... though it can refuse to comply quite categorically at times J Normally the feeling of fullness is inside rather than like this... It is quite different from a butt plug in that it has a wide neck and it made one feel very... open and exposed, for want of better words.

That peculiar feeling was exacerbated when He started to spank one's arse with heavy handed slaps, while the plug was in. The sensation travelled through the skin and to the plug. It vibrated... in a most interesting way. It felt rather like a tuning fork... one plunged inside of the body. As one said it was peculiar... though worth a try simply because it is different.

The vibrations left the arse feeling relaxed and very sensitive. When He pulled the plug out to cum in it one could feel the sensations more than usual. There was great pulsing, shooting waves of cum... and one could feel them as they splashed inside one's arse. Fortunately the plug was there to shove back in when He finished... there was rather a lot of it.

So there... one difficult glass plug down. Next challenge...

Oh wait; He has its very large cousin somewhere under the bed. Maybe the arse will have a relapse...

Whispers well one can hope, surely?

Asking for it

How are you feeling He asked?

Those slave senses started to tingle...

Um... bloody sore. In fact the only thing that doesn't hurt is the arse. Seeing His eyes glimmer one hastened to add this part, clearly indicating gluteus maximus, medius and minimus with frantic hand signals.

I can fix that He replied.

See this is why we switched to verbal communication because hand signals are woefully inadequate for most. It is the only explanation for why He got it so wrong and spent the rest of the day trying to stuff large things in one's arse L 

Starting with the x-small and then the small (which is a lie) MEO in He moved to the medium (again a lie, there it is in the middle) and spent some considerable time trying to get it in there. The arse said no. Which was so frustrating... it was so close and it just wouldn't go any further. We did however try out a new lube called Man's Grease... OMG that stuff is so good for large toys.

So He switched tactics and started fisting the arse... and that was where things started to go a little wrong. . The Man's Grease just allowed the hand to slip in and out... it felt soooo good. It fact it felt a little too good because it was almost impossible to not orgasm. That was the thing He was trying to avoid because after one cums, the damn thing closes up tighter than any amphibian.

In a flash of inspiration He thought he would try out the glass toy on the right. It is a similar size to the medium MEO, but a different shape. Again it would only go so far... that last blue line to be precise. And then things went a little wrong. With an almighty shudder the body orgasmed and everything went no... including one small slave. 

So.... things we learnt;

• Man's Grease is an awesome lube for big things
• The arse can win a round
• Man's Grease can make things very slippery for a while afterwards, though it does wash of toys and skin way better than silicone lube does
• There is a sore spot between gluteus maximus, medius and minimus that has added yet another thing to the list of aches and pains L

Beware of owners bearing gifts

He was out doing the grocery shopping, so while a load of laundry was on one nipped into the shower to use an illicit amount of hot water. A noise outside the shower door caused one to wipe off the steam and peer out. He was standing there casually leaning against the wall... in front of the towels so there was no avenue of escape. The whole pose was enough to make the whiskers twitch nervously.

Smiling He said I've bought you a present. Looking at Him with a sense of dread... well he had been in the produce aisle alone... one hazarded a few guesses. Umm... cucumber? Carrots? (OK that one was just hopeful). Smiling He produced the gift from behind his back. Look what I found He said triumphantly, and it was on sale.

It's a baseball bat one said sounding utterly dense. Yes it is He agreed gravely. Umm we don... the voice sort of trailed off there. He smiled encouragingly and said be grateful it's not a full sized one. Besides it's for later... after you've cooked breakfast.

As it turned out it was more after breakfast and a couple of bouts of anal... for which one was also suitably grateful. And it is amazing what you can find under a desk... the stuff that rolls under there is fascinating. So with that taken care of and laundry flapping on the line one was escorted to the bedroom... bearing a newly scrubbed bat. Fortunately some extra large condoms arrived yesterday... fancy that.

After applying a generous serve of lube He proceeded to stretch the arse by fisting it. He's thoughtful like that. And then He started to insert his new toy. A toy that makes the Eleven pale into insignificance on the anal stretching front.

The strange thing is that once it got to a certain point... a point that was actually making one call uncle for all the good it was doing... the damned arse just started eating it. The sensation of the bat being drawn in by the sphincter muscle was an amazing sensation. Adrenalin is pumping around the body, it is relaxed and you are feeling no pain. Honestly one can see why people tackle traffic cones.

So yes... sports equipment... far more interesting than watching a game any day J

The end of the sexual revolution

While He went to get a haircut one spent the morning doing laundry and cleaning up a massive pile of sex toys... think kitchen sink full here people. The place looked like the inside of a brothel with lube and condoms scattered between tissues and drinks and discarded items of clothing. Having been in the one or two brothels over the years one is speaking from experience. There was also that pervasive smell of sex in the air, despite clean sheets, and all over the skin, despite numerous showers. It was lovely J

He spent the early afternoon making sure the endorphin crash wasn't too bad. Wasn't that just the nicest thing? Promising sex He lured one to bed and proceeded to work on toughening up the arse... his renewed mission to make one more receptive to his bloody floggers. Seems yesterday just increased his resolve and He is of the opinion one just needs to be beaten more often. Yeah, thanks for that... glares at a certain someone... really starting to consider getting an elf... one who likes to be beaten.

Mind you the whole beating thing paled into insignificance as He proceeded to see if he could get his fist in ones arse. Actually it wasn't too bad once He got the knuckles in. Mind you by that stage the endorphins were so high one wasn't actually capable of feeling too much. Three hours later one is still waiting for the feeling to come back... that will not be good.

So after a massive orgasm one scampered off to the hairdressers. The walk was lovely and the mind sort of floated along... as it does. Actually the mind had spent the whole day slightly pixilated. Really one had forgotten how much fun group sex was and as one walked one mourned, just a little, the passing of the sexual revolution. And it has passed well and truly from what one can see.

Growing up one had the advantage of living in a country that was a little behind the times in some ways. It meant that one caught the tail end of the social experiment that was peace, love and sex. Everyone has a time they would like to have been around for and dammit the 70's would be the time one would choose. Great music, great drugs and sex... what more could a person want?

Chatting to the babies at work it is fascinating how the age of the sexually repressed is upon us. Oh they are still having sex... it is just that it seems to be attached to a whole pile of things; self esteem issues, love, cementing a relationship. Well the advent of diseases that can kill you will do that. It is such a shame... particularly to one who always enjoyed sex, preferably with virtual strangers.

Now it is too much like playing Russian roulette to hold much appeal, but the idea of an elf is starting to grow increasingly attractive.

Right up until one considers the search for the mythical unicorn known as a third.

Then the mind just retreats and starts rocking gently while moaning no.

Bigger is better

It is the persistent myth of some men that bigger is better and to be honest one is inclined to agree with them to a certain extent. Like all things though there is a point of diminishing returns. He enjoys seeing how big an object He can fit into a small space... like all collectors He seems to have a spatial relationship issue... and sex is no different. This is why one found oneself being fisted while He tried to see if it can be done as a double penetration thing. For the record it has limited applications on a human body... well this one at any rate.

It does give you an interesting orgasm though. One that feels strangely as though it is not being done by your body. Normally, when you orgasm, all the muscles of you genital region contract in waves that sync up with your heart beat. It is a pleasantly coordinated sensation. When someone has one hand in your cunt and several finger of the other one in your arse, the muscles can’t do that and although you are having an orgasm, it is like something is missing.

Afterwards you are left with the sensation of where the hands have been... well one of the knuckles to be precise. You can feel the muscles regrouping themselves into their rightful place. The endorphin levels drop and you become acutely aware of all the different parts of you that feel bruised. This is of course the time the He decides to relieve the tension... well His at any rate... by fucking you in the arse.

So there you are, on all fours like a good little slut, while He plunges in and out of you. An act that is causing a thousand different sensations of pain, that make you cry out and tighten up, and your body try to get away. He responds by tightening his hold as He keeps you in place and thrusts in more vigorously until He comes... Leaving you sore, bleeding, and dripping cum and miles from the nearest fucking tissue.