Cleancut

For many years one has used a Seiko Cleancut for personal shaving. It's a chore that He can watch for hours. Anyway nothing lasts forever (though that shaver has come damn close) and it was finally retired with honours. The replacement blades didn't fit that model and the old ones were nicked. So for some time one has being doing it old school with a razor.

We looked for a replacement everywhere, but alas the old battery operated ones were gone. So finally biting the bullet He ordered this Cleancut ES1080 in the mail. And much though one is loath to admit it the new one (which is probably no longer made by Seiko) is better than its predecessor. Oh it probably won't last anywhere near as long being plastic and rechargeable, but it was much faster and of course cuts much better having sharper blades :)

There are some tricks to getting a good shave with one of these...

• Always shave on dry skin
• If it is humid a light dusting with corn starch can help
• Make sure the hair is not too long before you start shaving. They are not designed to mow through weeks of hair, so trim first
• Do not keep going over the same area unless you want razor rash
• It takes a while for skin to feel smooth when switching over to an electric shaver from a razor. When you shave with a blade it lifts up the hairs and removes them below the surface of the skin, while also taking a layer of skin cells. That is why the results feel so smooth.
• With an electric shaver it will take about a month before the skin cells grow back around the hair follicle and it feels as smooth to touch as a razor leaves it

 

He also ordered a trimmer set 'cos a girl does have hard to reach places... that he helps with. Though to be honest one didn't feel helped, more that he helps himself.

Sighs good help is so hard to find...

Joy ride

Every once in a while we delve into more conventional toys in the form of vibrators. They aren't our favourite thing, but some of them are just visually interesting and in need of further exploration.

The implement:

• This toy is the Comet 11 Rechargeable G-Spot Wand presented by Jopen, who produce the equivalent of the Swan vibes that one believes can't be purchased in America for some strange reason... perhaps the Canadians don't want to share them.
• Measures 20 cm (8") from tip to tip
• It is 12.5 cm (5") around at its widest

The pros:

• Lovely smooth silicone
• 7 different rhythms
• Plenty of oomph
• Charges off your USB port using magnetic contact points so it's impossible to get them in the wrong spot
• Fully charged in 4 hours
• Charge lasts for 2-3 hours
• Waterproof
• It would make a very handy Hatachi Wand substitute
• Easy to clean

The cons:

• This is probably just a personal one: the toy is meant to stimulate the G-spot. The whole point of the design is that it is ergonomic and enables the user to wield it one handed. To stimulate the G-spot you have to be able to slide it in and out... something the vagina wasn't having a bar of. Oh it went in; it just wouldn't come back out again without a fight. In fact after a rather powerful orgasm and everything had clamped down even tighter than it was before, one did quip that it would be preferable to not to become one of those embarrassing hospital stories...

Fortunately it did come out albeit reluctantly :D

Anchors away

Closing the door and locking it firmly against the rest of our life we dove into the basket of promise...

What was pulled out was an anchor butt plug; essentially a metal ball that floats along a curved bar. We have a couple of these, but this is the small single ball kind.

The implement:

• A ball measuring approx. 1" (2.5 cm) wide or 5" (12.5 cm) in circumference
•  Set atop a rod about 2 3/4" (6 cm) long
• A curved bar about 4" (10 cm) in length with a small ball on each end to stop it falling off
• One ball on the bar unscrews to allow the pieces to be cleaned
• In the more expensive versions the large ball can also be unscrewed for better cleaning

The pros:

• It's surprisingly comfortable to wear
• Could be used by any level of experience
• Made from easy to clean and sterilise stainless steel

The cons:

• If you listen very carefully it clanks when you walk

Over all though that slight clank is overcome by the high level of comfort and it is a good addition to any toy box... it might even be fun to wear out... somewhere noisy J
If you are going to use in once a while then you can probably get away with the less expensive version, but if you are planning on using this a lot spend the extra money and get the kind that can be completely dismantled.  

On the Kindle this week...

After spending the last week catching up on the final three Sookie Stackhouse books...

To be honest after the last season of the TV show one is too scared to watch the latest one... there's jumping the shark and then there was that last season. What were they on... the writers that is, not the vampires...

One small slave snuffled around the kindle to find BDSM The Naked Truth by Dr. Charley Ferrer

Thirty percent of the way one has come to a couple of conclusions. Well one really...

We are doing it wrong.

Mutters and if He thinks he's getting aftercare he is mistaken, as well as wrong

Left hanging

Every once in a while He loads up something on the kindle that is pleasurable rather than designed to expand one's mind... or warp it depending on your perspective. At the heart of His experiments is the fact that one has an unabashed love of pulp. Hell one was bought up (that's a lose descriptor there) by a mother who loved Sci-Fi. That's not to say that some of the best writers in the world don't write Sci-Fi, but more that it was only a small slip to the left to find one's self in the land of fang and claw. Anyhow this is not about how one slipped, more about where one landed...

For the last couple of weeks one has been happily immersed in The Bloodhound Files by D. D. Barant. The characters are whity and sharp, the plots suitably implausible, the werewolves are as likable as the family dog and the vampires are sexy. In other words, it's perfect reading for on the bus. In truth though, it was stretched out on the couch that one came to the end of book six.

Checking the publication date one discovered that it was 2012. Enough time that the next book should be in the pipeline. So scampering off to the computer to find out when the next book is due one came upon a nasty discovery. The author has decided to abandon the series. Now that is of course their decision. There is only one... OK two... little problems with this...

The main character has been left between two worlds, making a choice about where they are going and with whom. Now some people love endings like that. You can make the ending whatever you want it to be. One small slave is not one of those people.

It's the not knowing. It slowly eats away at any liking of the character... OK let's be honest here... the author. The ending is up there with the ending of The Soprano's... and we all know how much that pissed people off.

Oh and the other problem? The author has turned their attention to their next series. Apparently it's about two detectives... a cat and a dog... who are ghosts. It's called Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot.

WTF indeed!

Doc Johnson: Mood naughty

This anal toy is a great size and shape for any level of experience. The velvet smooth surface slips in easily and the graduated shape allows it to stay put. The main body, while soft to touch, is quite ridged which aids insertion. The gently curved base and where the toy attaches to it are flexible, so once in the toy is very comfortable to wear for extended periods of time. All in all it makes for one of the most comfortable butt plugs we have tried.

The implement:

• Measuring about 12 cm (5") long the butt plug has a circumference of approx 10 cm (4") at its widest
• The curved base is 9.5 cm (3 3/4") long
• Made of silicone

The pros:

• Phthalate free
• Latex free
• Hypo-allergenic
• Can be cleaned with soap and water, boiled or put in the dishwasher
• Non porous
• Shape makes for easy insertion 

The cons:

• None that one can find...

In fact the anal sex that followed was pretty awesome too as the plug left the arse lovely and relaxed. It must have been the massaging done on the g-spot that the plug is supposed to do J

Petty frustrations

Today was a strange day that started with promising sunshine and ended with bitter cold. It was also a day spent doing domestic stuff... mainly putting away discarded outfits from yesterday. Honestly one is starting to suspect we have an evil sprite that lives here, who comes out when our backs are turned to spread crap around. It's the only thing that accounts for the amount of clothes and correspondence that ends up littering every flat surface of this place in a matter of hours.

Life was much easier when we had limited wardrobes. Mind you the clothes seemed to go on easier too. Clothes were selected and pulled on... no muss, no fuss. Now everything we own has to be wriggled and squirmed into and then discarded when we don't like the combination that we chose.  Mutter, mutter, grumble, grumble...

Mind you on a completely unrelated note we did manage to squeeze in some awesome anal sex. We were trying out some new lube we picked up on the trip home yesterday. Wet Stuff, which traditionally makes water based lubes, has brought out a silicone lube. Now it is nowhere as good as the Pjur Backdoor... much thinner and runnier... but they do produce it in an economy sized litre pump bottle. And unlike a lot of the other silicone lubes it comes in under a $100 for that size.

Honestly it's not bad... doesn't dry out, good for anal sex... but it is more inclined to spread around being thinner. To be honest it wouldn't be a preference for large toys, but yeah... not bad at all for sex with another person J

Clejuso #13 handcuffs

These cuffs arrived a while ago and although they have had an airing the thought occurred that they probably should have a review in their own right.

The implement:

• A pair of the second heaviest handcuffs in the world... their big brother is about 1.3 kg...they weigh in at about a kilo (2.2 lbs)
• They are 2.5 cm (1") thick
• They feature a double locking mechanism
• Multiple ratchet settings so they will fit a small or large wrist easily
• Made from nickel plated steel

The pros:

• Due to their shape and thickness they do not cut or dig in
• They do not pinch
• They seem to leave virtually no marks
• They look sexy J

The cons:

• They are very heavy for a girl to wear... or for that matter a smaller man
• There is no escape
• If you wriggle around they will tighten 

These handcuffs are fabulous to look at, but they are not for the faint hearted or the weak of limb J

Doc Johnson: Glass wand

This was picked up a while back and like so many toys sat in a box unnoticed. It was rediscovered while ratting around in aforementioned box trying to find something else. Hauling it to the light one thought this might be interesting as a shape and looking at it one suspects it was designed as a g-spot stimulator, though it would probably work just as well on the prostrate. Best of all it is just the right size for an anal toy, for someone who doesn't have the household motto of "go big or go home".

Besides the box was entertaining in its own right...

Named the Serenity and described as "sensual glass" with a "two ended spherical form" that "allows for rolling pleasure and smooth deep insertion"...

Cough, cough whatever where they taking at the time of writing that blurb and why didn't it come in the box too? Scampers off to double check the packaging...

Sighs no luck

 

The implement:

• Glass
• Measures 18 cm (7") long from end to end
• Small head is about 3 cm (1 1/8") in diameter
• Large head is about 4 cm (1 5/8") in diameter

The pros:

• Choice of end sizes so you can gently stretch things open
• Easy to clean
• Smooth surface always makes an easy insertion

The cons:

• The curve is just the wrong shape to get it all the way in the arse. It stops about an inch short... but that is probably not an issue for most. In fact it would probably give some a sense of security as there is no fear of losing it J

Christmas booty

Not that kind you sick perverts... though may one just take a moment to say that seeing that festive picture up as His screen saver is confronting first thing in a morning. No, this is about the Christmas presents one received. Well actually it is about one present in particular and what was loaded on it. See for Christmas He bought one an updated Kindle and though e-readers probably are the death knell of the printed book and book shops generally, one loves that thing with a passion.

Anyway one of the things on it was the science fantasy series by Jim Butcher. Personally one had always loved The Dresden Files series... they had RPG playing werewolves in it... what's not to love? What was loaded on it though was his Codex Alera series. And frankly... it is a ripping good yarn.

The one thing that Jim Butcher does, other than write infinitely likeable characters, is pour on the pace. All his books are page turners. They aren't particularly deep or meaningful commentary on the state of the world, but they are entertaining. So if you are looking for a little light reading over the festive season and like science fantasy one would heartily give them a two thumbs up J

Don Wands nubby melon crank

Rather like that favourite juicer, this has been sitting in its velvet bag for some time... though not as long as the other one. Today it was pulled to the light to be tried out. To be honest one did rather look at it and think how did you get to our place? It was rather small and He tends towards the idea of go big or go home.

The implement:

• About 15 cm (6") long and about 2.5 cm (1") in diameter
• It has a head of about 4 cm (1 1/2") that is grooved just like that a juicer and that (along with the crank style handle) is what gives it that name
• The insertable length is approx. 9.5 cm (3 3/4")
• The base is approx. 5.5 cm (2 1/4")
• There are four rows of five smooth, raised nubs approx. 3 mm (1/8") in height around the surface and another nine around the base
• The handle is about 3.5 cm (1 1/4") and has a glass ball on it about the size of a marble.

The pros:

• Can be used anally or vaginally
• The nubs on the base are supposed to stimulate the clitoris as it goes round... not that one actually got to find out if that worked
• Pyrex for an easy clean
• Can be heated or chilled
• That smooth surface makes for an easy insertion
• Suitable for most levels of experience 

The cons:

• They are better with someone to turn them for you

To be honest one wasn't expecting great things from this toy... after all one had fallen in love with its big cousin. It did however live up to that adage about good things coming in small packages. When turned around in the arse it produced delicious sensations. So if you come across one in your travels one would recommend picking one up

Helmet head

In amongst an order was this glass plug and just in case you are wondering how safe glass is for your arse? While getting it out of the box it slipped free, hitting the bench on the way down. The plug is fine, but the bench has a chip out of it. So unless you are taking a sledge hammer to the damn thing while inserted one would have to say that glass is pretty safe.

 

The implement:

• Made from glass
• This is the extra large and measures 12 cm (5") long
• It is about 14.5 cm (5 3/4") around
• The base is 4.5 cm (just under 2") wide
• Comes in clear or black

The pros:

• Smooth shape for easy insertion
• Wide base and narrow neck so it stays in place
• Could be used for longer term wear
• Easy to clean as they can be put in a dishwasher
• Not so big that it is uncomfortable when in place 

The cons:

• That helmet head shape has quite a defined ridge and unlike a penis it doesn't flex so removal is a bit more painful than insertion

All of that aside if you are looking for a plug that is somewhere between a bit too small and OMFG is that going to fit then this might be for you. It was very comfortable when in... though He seemed to experience some difficulty squeezing his way into the other available hole when taking advantage of one small slave... but the base is a bit wider than one prefers for very long term wear or walking around. It is a handy little plug though and would make a nice addition to a toy box J

Velcro is evil

Scampering in from work one grabbed a quick meal before we went round the corner to the gym, followed by some laundry, dinner, showers and off to bed for what one thought was going to be a pleasant little quickie before going to sleep. It's strange how things never seem to work out like they do in your mind. 'Cos what transpired was neither pleasant nor quick...

First off He pounced, rolled one over and before one could squeak out the safeword, let along spell it...

Oh yes, that was a conversation that came up over breakfast. He was threatening one over food... can't remember what it was, but one wasn't enjoying it. In complete exasperation one called red. Nothing happened. So one tried Rumpelstiltskin... just in case things had changed. And then one remembered Him saying that the word was supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. On the off chance He hadn't been kidding one tried it out.

The fucker turned round and said, spell it...

That can't be right surely? That can't be how it works... 'cos it is a lousy system if it is.

Anyway back to being pounced on...

Before one knew what was happening He had one trussed up in a Sportsheets Bondage Bar that we had picked up ages ago. It is portable, lightweight and quite innocuous if shoved in the bottom of a bag as it flattens out along the thin, ridged bar to measure about 43 cm (17'). In other words it's perfect for taking away... not that we got to use it last time. So there one was trussed up, face down arse up (that almost went without saying didn't it?) with wrists and ankles trapped in Velcro, while He is attacking body parts with His fingers and the Wanachi Multi. It probably sounds all sexy and stuff...

It wasn't. There is nothing sexy about not being able to breathe properly with a rapidly developing kink in the neck and hair that is insisting on trying to get in your mouth. Anyone who has ended up in that position can attest to that. Not to mention the whole drooling thing... shudders quietly

Taking pity on one small slave He rolled one over and renewed his attack, before finishing off with His dick buried deep in one's arse, as one lay there as helpless as an upturned beetle. That bondage bar is vile. The bloody thing is almost impossible to get out of. It's not going in the favourite toy category at all. In fact one is starting to suspect that Velcro is Satan's tool...

Sighs He is not of that opinion... and apparently his is the only view that counts.

A few minutes after He had finished with one small (and feeling decidedly ruffled) slave, as one was sitting in the office meditating on both the anal abuses that had just occurred and the idea of Velcro being the tool of Satan, He marched in saying stand up. As one did so He shoved one over the desk and proceeded to sodomise the poor abraded arse again with short vicious strokes while making one say how much one enjoyed being fucked in the arse by him.

At that point it wasn't true at all. It was hurting. A lot. In fact way more than it should have.

Vile oppressor, one slung at His retreating back

He laughed and went to bed leaving one bleeding, dripping cum and without a tissue in sight. This was not the night one had in mind at all L

A private wet playground

For a couple of days He had been looking... pleased with himself... one would almost say smug. It is never a good look. Well not for one small slave at any rate. A delivery late in the afternoon provided some answers in the form of a neat package. It also explains our visiting a camping store the next day looking for an air pump...

Oh look you can get a mains powered one He said happily

Yes and you can get a foot operated one for half the price

So when I pull you out of bed to entertain me, you will be happy to stand there pumping away while you are busting to pee?

Umm... how very thoughtful of you Master. The mains powered one sounds like a much better idea... beams brightly while secretly mourning morning mouse

The implement:

This playground from MEO is designed for people who like messy, wet fun and games. It is perfect for the floor, on top of the bed (it measures 2X1.4 m (6' 7"X4' 7")), in a small area or anywhere else you can think of. It is 10cm (4") deep... enough to contain any mess. There are even convenient handles to carry it with or tie someone to. It can be used for massages, splodging, enema play, watersports... hell you could probably use it for jelly wrestling if you were that way inclined J

The pros:

• Made of tough vinyl
• Slip resistant
• Oil resistant
• Easily inflated with an air pump
• Easy to clean
• Folds up into its own mesh bag for easy storage
• Ideal for smaller spaces 

The cons:

• It can be a little awkward to move around, though you can let out some of the air which makes it form a shape similar to a bag, making it easier to get through a door. 

We decided that the easiest thing to do was to use a pet mat to absorb all the liquids, toss it in the shower, clean it off and then deflate it before throwing it over the pool fence to dry... which in our climate took about 15 minutes due to the black colour.

MEO twist n suck

Carefully tucked in an order was a box of these... in six sizes no less.

 The pros:

• There is something for everyone
• They come ranging from nipple sized to you could probably get most of a breast in there sized
• They have a very good grip
• You can tighten them unmercifully if you are feeling mean

The cons:

• They can be tightened unmercifully... those fuckers can hurt in the right wrong hands
• Probably should have been called the lick, twist n suck as you need moisture to form a seal

He tried these out while one was incapacitated yesterday... the vile beast! They are an interesting sensation and had one not been tied up at the time there might have been time to explore them further... rather than being distracted by Him. The body really can only focus on one type of pain at a time... glares pointedly at a certain someone. If you like nipple/ breast torture though these are a handy things to have round the house J

Going green

Amongst the things we picked up at that sex store on the road trip was this cute little vibrator. Well it was one's birthday so for a change one small slave actually got to choose... which is why it isn't huge or scary or designed to be shoved where the sun doesn't shine. It is part of the "Leaf Line" by Swan who also make the Trumpeter Swan. Inside the brown box are instructions and the charger with interchangeable prongs for travel.

Like the Trumpeter it is designed to be ergonomic and to fit the female form. "Life" is quite small at 10.5 cm x 4 cm (4.1" x 1.6") and fits into the palm easily. It also fits the female form perfectly. Although it doesn't pack anywhere near the amount of wallop that the We-Vibe Tango does, it is still a powerful vibrator.

The pros:

• Waterproof so it can be used in a bath or shower
• Press and hold feature that allows you to easily move through the settings
• Silky smooth silicone
• Lockable for travel
• Rechargeable
• A charge lasts about 2 1/2 hours
• Very quiet operation 

The cons:

• No pulse settings only vibrations... which again isn't such a big deal 

Like all Swan products this feels fabulous and in this case it is just the right size to touch everything of importance. Best of all it could be used under the covers... an important fact here at the moment as it is freezing at about 9-15 C (48-59 F), raining and blowing a small gale. Of course He thinks it would be a fun thing to tuck between one's legs while being driven in the car. Actually a drive thru was His idea... something that also involved ice-cream... It was not a nice thing to murmur in ear of someone huddled under the blankets with a top and socks still on L

Comparing two "permanent" plugs

A reader from Berlin "kink capital and fisting central of Europe" had a few questions and it was going to be a lengthy reply... not to mention they were good questions to share... so one thought it easier to do it as a blog post.

XS, Permanent, SM MEO

The reader was curious about the permanent plug and the MEO anal stretching ring. In the past one has compared the permanent plug and the large Njoy and as one commented then, there is little out there that compares them side by side. The same seems to be the case for the permanent plug and the MEOs. In this blog post one is going to comparing the small permanent plug and the XS MEO as they are the closest in size.

As always this is from a personal perspective only and one takes no responsibility for the wonderful differences that make humans unique... not to mention the silly things you readers may try J

Did the closing plug only pop out of the XS MEO or does it do it on all sizes?

The closing plug slipped out due to too much lube and not being pushed in far enough. We found that if it was pushed in firmly until it was slightly below the surface of the outer ring it stayed in. The trouble was that it was very hard to do this when the MEO was in... the whole thing just moved. He said it was because the XS wasn't big enough... well he would wouldn't he L

The other problem with pushing it in that far is that the only way you can remove the plug is to remove the MEO and push it out from the top with some sort of utensil. It was this way for all the sizes of the MEOs. All in all it is not the best closing mechanism on the market, but no one has come up with an ideal solution.

Can the permanent plug slip all the way in and can it be sat down on with the ring shaped plug in?

As one explains below yes it can slip in and no, you cannot sit down easily on the ring. It is just that bit too long for comfort L

Both plugs seem to be a similar size and shape... do they both slip in and how do you get them out if they do?

They are a similar shape... but not identical as you can see from the picture. The curve on the permanent plug is slightly smoother and the lip not quite so pronounced. With the longer closing plug it means that if you sit down on it your arse it is more likely to eat the plug... especially if you are an experienced anal player.

Now this is where we get to the "not for the squeamish" section.

Do not read this if you are easily upset or eating

Stop peeking J

Now a plug slipping in is often the worst fear of all anal players, but usually it is no big deal providing it doesn't slip in too far. Generally the easiest way to remove a plug is to squat down. Now you might give some thought to not doing this over a toilet... those plugs are heavy and come out like missiles. They can crack a toilet as we found to our... expense. Be smart, do it over a floor that can be cleaned or a towel. Bear down gently rather like you were trying to pass a stool. Those muscles combined with gravity will do their job. Do not panic... just persist gently. It will get within reach and...

If you had to choose between the two which one would you choose?

In some ways it is like trying to compare apples and oranges. Yes they are both butt plugs. Yes they are both designed to do similar things. But... there is always one of those... the permanent plug was designed to be used as a convenient enema plug while the other one wasn't designed with that in mind. Personally one loves the permanent plug as an enema nozzle and it is a permanent fixture in the shower attached to its special hose.

Over all the MEO anal stretching ring is a better plug if you want something to wear because it doesn't have that extended closure attached to it. Mind you it doesn't have the convenience of that ring should it get lost.

If one was forced to choose one would say the MEO, but only because it is slightly more practical for long term wear in that you can sit down on it and it is less likely to be eaten J