Saturday, June 30, 2012

Fear... the great motivator

Getting off the bus one noticed a chill in the air that hadn't been present a couple of hours before. We have had a couple of days relief due to cloud cover, but the last two have been a clear blue as far as the eye could see. Now the temperature was starting to drop again. By the time one got home, showered, snacked on some peanut M&Ms in lieu of dinner (really need to go back to the gym ASAP) and made a cup of tea the temperature had plummeted a couple of degrees... we were in for another cold snap. Stop snickering... glares at a friend from Sweden who giggled all over Fet's message wall... you would die in our summers and after one of those this is freezing.

Wandering over to the couch to huddle under the covers one thought, not looking forward to meeting Him naked at the door tomorrow. The internal dialogue carried on...
Well why the hell are you going to?
Well He would be disappointed if one didn't
Small scoffing sounds emitted followed by that's all you've got?
Well there would be reprisals
Oh please it's not like He would kill you.
No, but it would be something fitting and horrid
You know you're like a child... anything He could do isn't as bad as you can imagine
Oh not sure about that... some of His stuff is nasty
So you're frightened of Him?
No, not of Him
So you're frightened of what He might do?
It's more that one has a healthy respect for Him and what he might do
Oh what crap, you are frightened of what He might do. Child!

That may be the case, but one is going to be the naked child waiting at the door for Him tomorrow morning J

Friday, June 29, 2012

The homecoming

Struggling through the door juggling bags and His clean work shirt one noticed that the kitchen bench was covered in bubble wrap. Following the trail around one spotted the pair of knee pads that He mentioned ordering had arrived. Hanging His shirt up and tossing the bag down one idly thought that is a lot of wrap for a pair of knee pads... bless the Americans and their desire to wrap the world in plastic... and tape. Wandering a little closer one noticed that the pads were very well made and the thought crossed the mind, shit He must be planning on finally using his stockade. An item that has until now lounged against the wall in nonchalant disuse... it's sort of the equivalency of genteel decay for sex toys around here.

Glancing over to the coffee table one noticed another array...

More attachments for the Neon Wand... some of you may still have fond memories of one small slave's squeaks of displeasure to that horrible toy...
In fact may one take a moment to express just how much one hates electrical play of any kind.
For some reason electricity just loves one small slave.
That feeling is not reciprocated.

The sound of opening night fireworks (the local Annual Show started with the usual bang) woke Him up and he staggered out to find one glaring at the new additions...
Thanks for the knee pads
Yeah I thought they might come in useful when I try out the attachments... maybe next weekend since you have the Sunday off. He mimicked happy little bzzzzzzt bzzzzt sounds
You know, one had more of a lazy Sunday breakfast in mind
Oh we can still do that. A nice full tummy should slow you down enough that I can catch you without too much effort


Thursday, June 28, 2012

Conversations with Master

This is for those of you that wonder what two INTJ’s talk about...

Do you ever look at some posts and just go WTF? This is just insane.
If you wrote about your life people on Fet would think it was insane too He said
Oh please, our life is depressingly normal
Really He said, eyebrow raised
OK it is not quite like some, but overall it is. We work, pay taxes...
All insane people think they are normal He replied with a smirk
Do you look in this direction and think she is insane?
No, not really, but I’m not sure I am He replied
You seem pretty normal from here
Well we haven’t established you are capable of judging that have we?

Sighs see what one has to deal with?

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Going green

Amongst the things we picked up at that sex store on the road trip was this cute little vibrator. Well it was one's birthday so for a change one small slave actually got to choose... which is why it isn't huge or scary or designed to be shoved where the sun doesn't shine. It is part of the "Leaf Line" by Swan who also make the Trumpeter Swan. Inside the brown box are instructions and the charger with interchangeable prongs for travel.

Like the Trumpeter it is designed to be ergonomic and to fit the female form. "Life" is quite small at 10.5 cm x 4 cm (4.1" x 1.6") and fits into the palm easily. It also fits the female form perfectly. Although it doesn't pack anywhere near the amount of wallop that the We-Vibe Tango does, it is still a powerful vibrator.

The pros:
  • Waterproof so it can be used in a bath or shower
  • Press and hold feature that allows you to easily move through the settings
  • Silky smooth silicone
  • Lockable for travel
  • Rechargeable
  • A charge lasts about 2 1/2 hours
  • Very quiet operation 

The cons:
  • No pulse settings only vibrations... which again isn't such a big deal 

Like all Swan products this feels fabulous and in this case it is just the right size to touch everything of importance. Best of all it could be used under the covers... an important fact here at the moment as it is freezing at about 9-15 C (48-59 F), raining and blowing a small gale. Of course He thinks it would be a fun thing to tuck between one's legs while being driven in the car. Actually a drive thru was His idea... something that also involved ice-cream... It was not a nice thing to murmur in ear of someone huddled under the blankets with a top and socks still on L

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Cucumber 2.0

Pulling cucumber from ass brought to you by PornHub

For those of you who missed this due to technical difficulties

Morning glory

Stirring awake the eyes fluttered open enough to see Him lying there. The eyes closed as the mind quietly wondered if He was awake and contemplated going back to sleep... as the bladder made its pressing case for getting up...
When suddenly there was a flurry of covers and He pounced on a newly exposed nipple.
As one cried out no, no, fingers were slid into a cunt still wet from last night. The bladder became more insistent as His hand applied pressure...
A flurry of futile struggles erupted.
No, no, one cried once more...
Nothing happened.

Umm... you know that's the magic word... you're supposed to stop.
Your feeble struggles excite me He replied, with a mouth full of nipple.
He rolled one over as one small slave struggled ineffectually while crying rape!
Oh you know how to turn me on He cried, as he pulled one up onto reluctant knees.
Not bothering to pull out the Njoy He pulled apart moist lips and forced his way into a wet but resistant cunt. Grabbing one firmly by the hips He fucked one with quick, vicious strokes, his balls slapping against flesh as his cock made everything press up against the screaming bladder. With a final thrust He came and pushed one out of the way like a used rag...

Now the cunt thinks it won because it usually looses to the arse, when really it was the bladder... it was full enough to not let anything win over its insistent need to pee...
And later the arse felt victorious once more as it was taken in the shower...
But really, the only winner was Him.

Monday, June 25, 2012

A helpful slave...

Peering over the kitchen bench from the comfort of the couch below, one watched Him making a snack...
You know one said conversationally, a paring knife might not be the best tool for cutting a block of cheese.
That may be so He replied, but the best tool for the job is sick...

Maybe that was a cry for help...
Perhaps one should have pointed out the proper knife...
Hmmm... on second thoughts maybe not. Perhaps that sense of self preservation isn't completely dead after all J

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Book of the month

As many of you realise reading is a favourite past time and in spite of one's valiant attempts to live on a diet rich in detective novels He has other ideas. He steers one away from pulp into areas that wouldn't be explored otherwise...
At the moment one is reading yet another darkly misogynistic tale by Chad Kultgen. In this case it is his second book "The Lie", which is as compelling as his first one was to read. The difference is that this unpleasant little tale doesn't leave one depressed as much as wondering how badly it is going to end. There are little glimpses all along the story path that keep you scampering along, dying to find out how you can go from the idyllic to the darkly hateful place the characters allude to being in.

Of course the real star of the show is the deeply depraved best friend... and reading some of his personal philosophies about women one can't help but wonder how many in the BDSM community have some of these beliefs in their heart of hearts. It would certainly explain some of the positions maintained by some...
But really the reason to read the book is the anal sex and some of the delightfully perverse things that the friend makes, pressures, cajoles and cons women into performing. It should be read by any woman wanting to avoid being fucked in the arse with a cucumber or not wanting to end up in a gazebo J

Saturday, June 23, 2012

A Marie Antoinette moment

I see He said, snapping his phone shut with an audible sound. Next time you're horny I'll just hand you a slice of cake. Let's see if that works for you shall we.

It seems Master does not like to come second to baked goods...
Scorpio's are so competitive J

Mor food porn

After what proved to be a cunt of a day one staggered in the door to find these little beauties sitting on the bench...
They are coconut cakes before you ask

As His grandmother becomes increasingly difficult... quite an achievement in her case... and slightly doolally his mother has been striving to save her recipes before it is too late. Unfortunately they all have to be test baked...

And here is a little secret gentle reader...
As much as one loves Him
As great as the sex can be
As wonderfully perverse as He is

His greatest talents are surpassed by this one little fact...
His mother bakes J

Friday, June 22, 2012


In spite of the ridiculous, petty and often only funny to Him... and some of you... things that he does to one small slave, one doesn't quite get the feeling of humiliation that some seem to revel in. He says it is because the first emotional response one has to things is usually anger. And He might be right, but he would try the patience of a saint. Take the simple matter of paying some money on a credit card.

There is a small one that is kept for girly emergencies... like that pair of shoes that knows one's name. They are right... names do have power and shoes... well, they wield a lot of power... but one digresses...
He used that card for purchasing some sex toys when we were out the other week. His credit card was in a foetal position after all his gaming blowout controlled burn excesses. So there He is on the computer transferring some money onto it...
So what do you want on your credit card statement He enquired?
Just put payback.
So slavessextoys?
Money owed will be fine.
The analslutssupplies... I've got up to 18 characters to play with, He added helpfully.
Ummm... IOU is more than enough.
Right I'll put sextoys then He said.

No humiliation here at all...
There is a whole lot of annoyance though... 

Thursday, June 21, 2012


He stood behind the chair as one sat there reading something on the computer. Reaching down He brushed his fingertips across one's nipples. It was as soft as a feather, the barest of touches. And it was enough to make one whimper and cringe back into the chair. Pleased, He did it again. And again. Until one was whimpering and begging Him to not do it anymore. He laughed a rich and joyous sound...
Guess we found which body part hurts the most after yesterday.
We really need to talk about his non-sadist rating... one suspects its dropping  L

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Afternoon delight

Come to bed He said in that imperious voice that brooks no discussion. The mind was screaming but it's a really good bit of the book, as the feet scampered after Him. He hopped into bed and one slid in to join him... snuggling under the covers because it is nippy when you are naked at this time of the year. Lying curled in His arms was warm, if hardly safe. One hand viciously pinched and tugged at a nipple while His mouth held the other one prisoner. His free hand was buried in one's arse and vagina...
See this is the joy of being short and having a tall partner... it's all about the reach J
Though He swears it was only two fingers in the arse and one in the vagina. Unfortunately that reach afforded Him a lot of leverage and he drove them in with a force and sureness. Surrendering to the inevitable one came in a loud keening orgasm... well several of them and spent, one tried to curl into a foetal ball to no avail. Do it again... cum for me He growled, teeth still locked around a sore and bruised nipple. And the body did... treacherous thing that it is.

Lube up and get on your knees He ordered. And He inserted himself ever so gently into the tight and abraded orifice. He pressed further and further in until his balls were mashed up against a dripping cunt. With infinite care He withdrew almost to the end, before forcing his way back in. Whimpering into the pillow one lay there trapped between the bed head and His cock. Back and forth He moved. All of it at the same excruciatingly, slow pace. In past screaming, resistant flesh. Out past reluctant, swollen flesh.

Until after an eternity of this slow torture He dragged one back, spreading the arse with finger nails digging into the cheeks, stretching it wide open and fucked it with a fast and furious pace. He pounded in and out until he came, thrusting in with one last vicious jab.

One lay there, waving a white tissue in surrender, wondering which part would hurt the most first...

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Comparing two "permanent" plugs

A reader from Berlin "kink capital and fisting central of Europe" had a few questions and it was going to be a lengthy reply... not to mention they were good questions to share... so one thought it easier to do it as a blog post.

XS, Permanent, SM MEO

The reader was curious about the permanent plug and the MEO anal stretching ring. In the past one has compared the permanent plug and the large Njoy and as one commented then, there is little out there that compares them side by side. The same seems to be the case for the permanent plug and the MEOs. In this blog post one is going to comparing the small permanent plug and the XS MEO as they are the closest in size.
As always this is from a personal perspective only and one takes no responsibility for the wonderful differences that make humans unique... not to mention the silly things you readers may try J

Did the closing plug only pop out of the XS MEO or does it do it on all sizes?
The closing plug slipped out due to too much lube and not being pushed in far enough. We found that if it was pushed in firmly until it was slightly below the surface of the outer ring it stayed in. The trouble was that it was very hard to do this when the MEO was in... the whole thing just moved. He said it was because the XS wasn't big enough... well he would wouldn't he L
The other problem with pushing it in that far is that the only way you can remove the plug is to remove the MEO and push it out from the top with some sort of utensil. It was this way for all the sizes of the MEOs. All in all it is not the best closing mechanism on the market, but no one has come up with an ideal solution.

Can the permanent plug slip all the way in and can it be sat down on with the ring shaped plug in?
As one explains below yes it can slip in and no, you cannot sit down easily on the ring. It is just that bit too long for comfort L

Both plugs seem to be a similar size and shape... do they both slip in and how do you get them out if they do?
They are a similar shape... but not identical as you can see from the picture. The curve on the permanent plug is slightly smoother and the lip not quite so pronounced. With the longer closing plug it means that if you sit down on it your arse it is more likely to eat the plug... especially if you are an experienced anal player.

Now this is where we get to the "not for the squeamish" section.
Do not read this if you are easily upset or eating
Stop peeking J

Now a plug slipping in is often the worst fear of all anal players, but usually it is no big deal providing it doesn't slip in too far. Generally the easiest way to remove a plug is to squat down. Now you might give some thought to not doing this over a toilet... those plugs are heavy and come out like missiles. They can crack a toilet as we found to our... expense. Be smart, do it over a floor that can be cleaned or a towel. Bear down gently rather like you were trying to pass a stool. Those muscles combined with gravity will do their job. Do not panic... just persist gently. It will get within reach and...

If you had to choose between the two which one would you choose?
In some ways it is like trying to compare apples and oranges. Yes they are both butt plugs. Yes they are both designed to do similar things. But... there is always one of those... the permanent plug was designed to be used as a convenient enema plug while the other one wasn't designed with that in mind. Personally one loves the permanent plug as an enema nozzle and it is a permanent fixture in the shower attached to its special hose.

Over all the MEO anal stretching ring is a better plug if you want something to wear because it doesn't have that extended closure attached to it. Mind you it doesn't have the convenience of that ring should it get lost.
If one was forced to choose one would say the MEO, but only because it is slightly more practical for long term wear in that you can sit down on it and it is less likely to be eaten J

Monday, June 18, 2012

A special thank you

Sometimes people leave comments on here and one looks at them and thinks you are trying to kill one small slave... particularly those of you trying to toss one under the equine speculum. Other times one looks at them and thinks you know not what you do. You can't possibly understand because in spite of one's best endeavours to paint Him in all his quirkiness, some of you still don't understand the nature of the beast. Let's take a comment by ancilla_ksst the other day on the thread about the Guitar Hero road trip shall we...

It was an innocuous comment about a song and reading it one giggled and groaned... it's sort of a trademark sound...  because He perked up with interest. Which system had that song on it He asked? That could be fun... and off He trotted to do some research.
You see like all former drama students He has an immersive approach to anything new... He reads, he hunts around, he finds facts and anecdotes and he peruses forums attached to the newest latest obsession. And though He couldn't find the song on the playlists, he did wander back to say how much better the songs were for Rock Band...

So guess how we spent the day?

That's right, scouring every gaming store in this rather large bit of landscape hunting down all the Rock Band games. They had to be second hand of course because those games have been discontinued... which is why we had to go so far afield.
It was a round trip of approximately 204.9 km (about 127 miles) all up. It involved six shopping centres. It involved countless discussions about the pros and cons of the system and how it was easier to do the drums for it...
Has one mentioned persistence as a defining characteristic?
As one sat trapped in the confines of the car... the very small car... a conveniently captive audience.

Oh He started softly... it was going to be a quick trip to Taigum followed by the Aspley Hypermarket... with the promise of a Yum Cha lunch as a small sweetener. It sort of went out of control from that point on as we drove km after km in the pursuit of a complete set. And guess what?
One tired and stiff and drained and slightly car sick slave...
And seven fucking hours later...
He has that complete set and...
That freaking song wasn't on any of the games.

Meanwhile one small and still slightly sick slave is going to find somewhere stationary to lie down while He plays Rock Band... you know to make sure the games are all right rolls eyes
As He mutters how the song has to be somewhere...

And there He goes with his phone to find it...

Oh apparently it is a downloadable song... He needed number three to be able to access it.

Now the problem is that He hasn't got any more credits until he goes back to work and can buy some...
He really wants that song... and a few other packages he has found... though it will be a shame his mini-me won't be able to play them as they don't have a live connection...

Meanwhile one small slave is trapped with Him for the weekend... Oh gods this is going to be like the car trip L

So ancilla_ksst thank you...
You have been promoted to head bus tosser.

Sunday, June 17, 2012


For a long time now we have been looking for the perfect anal plug for wearing to work. We have lots of plugs... as you may have noticed... but none of them are suitable for that environment because work presents some rather unique issues and so does the body itself. Work is extremely hot and fast paced and we walk miles... all of it at a near run. In an average shift we do about 6-8000 paces. They reckon 10 000 paces a day is what you need to maintain a healthy weight... though oddly enough, most of us exercise as well to stay fit enough for the job. In addition to that we move stock that comes in on pallets... what happened to the genteel pace that our industry was noted for L

To actually get to the bathroom from our place is an art form of dodging customers and finding someone to man your section. Added to that is the issue that there is nowhere to keep a purse or bag so there is nowhere to put anything a girl might need... and there simply isn't enough time to get to the lockers at the other side of the store if you are just nipping out. This means that there is nowhere to stash some wipes or lube so that they can be taken with you should you need to replace or reposition a butt plug. It also means the plug has to be comfortable, light and small enough to be stashed in a pocket (in a plastic bag) if there are any issues. You are getting the idea... hot, fast, awkward and no privacy whatsoever.

These issues combined with a well padded and muscled posterior has made wearing the usual plugs like the Njoy or the Rosebud nearly impossible, particularly as three of the four shifts are 12 hours long when combined with travel time. The bases are too wide on the Rosebud and you get tearing of the external area of the arse caused by the constant tugging motion that walking produces. Sweat and steel also make for an uncomfortable sensation and rubbing. They are both too large to pop in a pocket... not to mention the weight pulls your pants down as you scamper back from the bathrooms J

Se we needed something that was light weight, small enough to fit in a pocket and with a narrow base... but not so narrow that the arse could eat it like it did with that cute little Rosebud. And we found it J

Introducing the Bootie by the Fun Factory
  • Made from high grade silicone
  • Flexible
  • Small enough to fit in a pocket in an emergency

This plug was extremely comfortable to wear. Its smooth, flexible shape made for easy insertion and it stayed in place without tugging at sensitive areas as one ran around like a mad thing at work. The base was long enough that it couldn't be eaten by the arse and being silicone there was no discernible rubbing or chaffing. Of course He looked at its relatively small size and asked does your arse even know that it's there?
Well yes it did thank you very much... nothing jammed up your arse feels that comfortable...

Now all one has to do is find the perfect lube... so expect a few reviews on those things to come J

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Toad kissing

At work one often likens finding the right skin care to toad kissing... if their product doesn't work for their skin, bin it or give it to a friend. Where most go wrong is thinking that if they keep kissing the toad it will turn into a prince. Yeah life doesn't work that way... at all. See Mr. Toad doesn't change and if you are having a bad reaction to him then you need him out of your life... quickly. It doesn't necessarily mean Mr. Toad is bad, just that he is bad for you.

This rule also applies to partners. Time and time again we see women happily kissing the same toad just waiting for him to change. It is a variation of the idea that insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome. Personally one blames too many fairy stories... oh not the original ones which were usually dark and nasty things, but the sanitised Walt Disney versions... the stories with singing teacups and the like. Girls grow up believing in fairy tale weddings and happy endings... they never seem to stop and wonder what happened to Cinderella, stuck in the damp castle with a brood of screaming children. If they did they might not be so quick to close their eyes and pucker up.

Of course where issues seem to arise is when the toad gets released... or hops off of his own accord. Then the troubles begin because sometimes he hops off to be some other woman's prince. That's when the fun starts...
See women have a tendency to think well why couldn't he be like that for me? They never stop and think well he just found his princess. Oh no... 'cos that would be rational and we have already established that isn't what they are at all. Instead they sometimes embark upon a campaign to convince everyone that Mr. Toad is a loathsome creature who should be locked up...

This isn't to say that there aren't some real stinkers out there... had one of those. There are some people who should be locked up... for everyone's protection. But to call every failed prince an abuser and to decry him all over town is a bit much. One failed relationship does not an abuser make. A pattern of failed relationships might point to issues. Again it may simply be that Mr. Toad makes lousy choices too... we are all guilty of having a fallen for a type or two... sometimes repeatedly.  Toads are just as susceptible as the next to committing that folly.

See the thing is that we never really know what happens in people's relationships... particularly if we are only privy to one side of the story. So when Mr. Toad hops off sometimes it pays to remember that he might still be a prince in disguise. And maybe rather than trying to stab him with a pitchfork we should just stand clear...
After all one woman's toad... is another woman's prince.

Friday, June 15, 2012

The backhander

We had sex... good old fashioned vaginal sex... in the cowgirl position. As one climbed off He said you know that was so good I wondered why we don't do it more often. And then I remembered that your arse feels so much better...
The vagina is miffed... very miffed.

Thursday, June 14, 2012


There is a growing pile of toys near the coffee table that needs to be dealt with. They are clean and packed in their boxes, having had their photos taken and been used... well the odd one is still to be used... but the others need to be put into the boxes under the bed. Before the piles start to resemble some architectural nightmare... one that may fall at any time and crush some passerby.

It was the contemplation of this job that was on the mind as He came up behind the chair one was occupying and reached over to grope body parts in an affectionate manner. Taking the moment of opportunity one nuzzled His arm and said... ever so casually... ummm so is it OK to find the paddle a home? Nuzzle, nuzzle, kiss, kiss. See it was on top of the pile and somewhat on the top of one's mind. It is quite nasty and you don't really want to hurt one like that again. Nuzzle, nuzzle, a few more kisses thrown in...

He laughed, tweaked the nipples (rather more viciously than was necessary one thought) in passing and said no.
Be reasonable one said, it's a horrid toy... not to mention it was bought as a prop.
Tell you what He says in his best let's make a deal voice, I'll hit you with it 100 times and you can get rid of it.
What? All at once?
Yes all at once He replied.
How is that reasonable?
Well it could have been daily He said.
That's not reasonable. In fact one suspects that word doesn't mean what you think it means...
He smiled and shrugged and walked off

In the end it was Him who found a home for it...
Of course its final resting place was here...
He is of the opinion that a few random whacks with it could prevent bad behaviour in the future.

You know in hindsight where one might have gone wrong was promising to never be bad again. It gave Him hope... and aspirations and stuff...
That toy needs to disappear...
It is close to the edge... it could fall down the back of the bed. Out of sight out of mind... surely?

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Mad panic

We went to bed together... it was time for Him to go to sleep before night shift and one small slave needed a restorative nap. Rolling over, one sighed and snuggled down... drifting off into the most perfect, deep sleep.
Only to wake some time later with a sense of disorientation.... something was wrong.
The clock read 4.30 and yet it seemed too light outside. What was wrong? He was still in bed... that's what was wrong. The clock had malfunctioned again. He should have been at work hours ago judging by the light peeping round the curtains. Shit He was supposed to start at midnight. Why hadn't work been on the phone... it was probably in the bottom of His bag and we probably couldn't hear it ringing.
Starting bolt upright one reached out to nudge Him...
Wake up, we've overslept... you should have been at work hours ago

I don't have to be awake until 10pm was the sleepy response

It was 4.30...
In the afternoon.

Later on, as He was walking out the door to work, he said I will eventually forgive you for waking me up like that.

This is going to cost a fuck ton of sexual favours isn't it?

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Oww fucking owwwww

While we were out yesterday, in between stops for Guitar Hero stuff, we managed to cram in a visit to the sex shop in that area. Yes, other people go for coffee and cake... we go to sex shops. Actually coffee and cake would be cheaper, but... Anyway a few items did follow us home including this Asylum Prescription Pain Paddle. The paddle appears to be made from 1/4 inch heavy rubber, with the Rx symbol on one end and a cord handle through the other.

One of these days there are going to be birthday gifts that can be shown to people other than the readers of this blog... this was not one of those birthdays...

Now it was purchased because it will make a great medical prop for a photo shoot and it was at a very good discounted price. That was why it was bought... that was the only reason. Anyway it was sitting on the couch and so was He. Except He was fondling the paddle in a very alarming manner... it was being picked up and swished through the air, checked for flex, smacked on the leather of the couch and.... The whole thing was rather off putting to one small slave at the other end quietly eating breakfast. And really one should listen to those little warning voices... they have a distressing way of being right...
Because He decided to have an experimental swat with the damn thing... on real flesh. One small slave's real flesh...

Oh dear gods did that thing hurt...
It thudded down with a crack and then the burn started...
Through layer upon layer of flesh...
There were swear words and there might have been a small screech... or two.
Actually there might have been a promise to never be bad again...

Needless to say He was thrilled...

Mutters that paddle is going to disappear into a props container... somewhere at the bottom of a large stack of them... never to see the light of day again...

He is not of that opinion L

Monday, June 11, 2012

On tour

Standing in front of the mirror one stood there surveying the straining buttons and sausage like rolls with horrified dismay. Tugging the shirt off one tried on the next item with similar results. Crap! Nothing in the suitcase fitted. Maybe the shirt could be worn open over a t-shirt. Some holiday this was going to be. Snatching up a skirt one looked at a tag that read 26" waist. Staring at it dumbly one couldn't work out what was wrong and the incessant noise in the background was making it impossible to think...

His voice cut across the dream, that's your alarm clock...
Rolling over one turned the noise off, just as it was reaching a piercing crescendo, by hitting the snooze button.
Umm that means you have to wake up He persisted...
Hit snooze one mumbled from in the covers, still desperately trying to work out the last time one actually saw 26" printed on a label... we changed to metric 30-40 years ago?
He snuggled up and murmured Happy Birthday baby in one's ear...
It was hardly a great start to a birthday. The subconscious was saying it was time to get back to the gym... a view not shared by the lungs at the moment... though no doubt they will come to the party when the chest/ sinus infection combo goes.... and it was 6am.

Now you may be wondering what one was doing at that hour on this particular day... given that it was a day off. Ahh well that is all His fault.... of course.

He has upped his geek factor by several degrees and not content to keep the shameful things to himself he has infected others. He is like the ultimate ground zero patient in some ways except he spreads his various infections with a childlike enthusiasm for his latest obsession. What is it you may be wondering? Ummm... it's almost too shameful to write it down... peers around furtively and whispers Guitar Hero L

He picked it up at a ridiculously low price and thought it was fun and trotted it off to our Tuesday night vanillas. Who, might one add up, until that point had refrained from becoming infected by looking at it and thinking oh that looks really stupid.  And they were quite safe while holding onto that belief... until they got that blasted guitar in their hands and their faces flushed with childish glee... and they were lost. In fact they liked it so much that they are going to get it for their children... one of whom was woken up by the sound of loud rock music being blasted through his wall.

Turning, their faces alive with a shared experience they tried to get one to join in... Though one remained resolute in the desire to not have what they were having. For years one has held to the belief if it can't be played in a horizontal position then one simply shouldn't be playing it... and that philosophy has always stood one in good stead. Joking one said well if you had the drum kit one might be tempted. 
Her head lifted with interest, drum kit?
Oh well the idea of this is there are drums and lead guitar and base and a microphone for vocals...
You mean we could all play this... like a band?
Yes... though to be honest one is pretty sure that swapping Tuesday night RPGing for Guitar Hero is not a step up the geek ladder. In fact telling people oh we are off to play GH is actually a swift step down.

Now you see in all of this the thought was that one small slave was pretty safe. GH is on its way out, the technology obsolete (the next thing to come will teach you how to actually play a guitar... that's right all you parents... live in fear), the system is virtually unsupported, the equipment in discount bins...
Oh how is one so naive after all these years?
Because He spent some time on the net and came up with a preowned bundle that included virtually all the games, the drums and a couple of extra guitars and a microphone... all of this conveniently located only an hour's drive away.
So there we were on the road at the crack of dawn...
He even managed to find the Metallica set just round the corner for his mini-me.

In fact we dropped it off to him on our way home...
His wife was thrilled... as she said an evening of marking, making dinner and Metallica... what's in this for me? Mind you they are going to have to get it out of their children's hands first... Strangely enough the youngest one, who one thought would have the most trouble with it, turned out to be a natural. We left him dancing away on his imaginary stage, keeping perfect rhythm and hitting every note... the little show pony.

So if you will excuse one small slave drum practise awaits... because otherwise someone will be singing for her supper...
And starving might one add... given that one has no particular talent in that area at all 

Sunday, June 10, 2012

The (Aging) Intrepid Traveller: A morality tale

In the beginning when we would go away one small traveller always took her pillow. He used to mock, but after a while His started to come too.  Then one started to pack bedding because well... He has no idea how to share a doona and one small person ended up shivering in the night. He snickered, but then His started to get packed as well. Then towels became an issue. There is something about watching a six foot bloke dabbing himself ineffectually with a towel the size and thickness of a handkerchief that can only be described as comical.  So you guessed it; towels are now considered essential travelling companions, along with decent toilet paper and soap and, and, and...

Let this be a warning to those travelling the rabbit hole; you too will end up like this. That desire to control aspects of your relationship starts to extend towards your relationship with anything else as well.  It is slow and incremental, but before you know it your little car will be stuffed full of essential creature comforts.

Adapt to nothing is our motto.

So you can almost imagine the delight one felt when He turned around today and said how would you like to get away for a night for your birthday? I thought we might stay at either the Stamford in the city or the Noosa Sheraton...

Both are noted for excellent beds and even better breakfasts... and decent towels and toilet paper. It means we will be able to pack light...

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Dear internet friend...

You know who you are... yes you! The one who sent interesting links to prove that the equine speculum can be done...
He doesn't need any encouragement and one small slave does not need to be plonked in front of the computer to watch it either.  Its bad enough it sits right on the desk as one types this... a mute testimonial of things to come... without watching it in action.
Stop helping glares at the offender

Thank you

Friday, June 8, 2012

Emulating the cat

In a post Fondlers Anonymous asked how one explains the submissiveness now and it was going to turn into a loooong answer so it was easier to put it here. It's going to be long because there is no nice pat answer to a question like that. For starters, as one wrote ages ago, submissive is not something one identifies as at all. In fact one small slave is no more submissive than the cat is...

The cat, formally known as Nickydaemous or Ms Minx for short, is a tiny ball of black fur that looks like it could be a wonderful pet. To see it shimmying around on its back inviting you to tickle its tummy you would never know its track record... the pain, the fear, the blood it has drawn. All of it from people who were warned do not touch the cat, do not make any sudden movements... actually avoid eye contact and stand still if it comes towards you, is usually the other bit of advice we give. In every case its victim has ignored these warnings not only because they think we are joking, but because they have this idea of what a domestic cat is...

They forget that a cat is one of the most adaptive predators on the planet. Cats can survive in deserts, snow, on the streets and in any corner of the world. We might like to think of them as companions, cuddly things that purr at us...
When in reality they are keen manipulators of their humans and their environment. They are smart enough to pretend they don't know their own name when it suits them... that tells you how malleable they are...
And one isn't much different... ask any of the exes :)

Now when you want to make a cat do something... let's say simply moving it off the piece of furniture it has decided to grace with its presence... you have a range of choices...
  • You can make a sudden noise
  • You can make a threatening gesture... not recommended with the cat... it will stand its ground and have a go back at you
  • You can use an implement like a water pistol
  • You can coax it with a treat
  • You can pick it up and physically move it 

In all those scenarios you have exerted your will... the cat has moved. Where the mistake lays is in thinking that the cat is submissive to you. It isn't... its acceded to your wishes. That is not the same thing... at all.

At no stage should you mistake winning that round for thinking you have subdued the inner beast... or that it has suddenly become something that it's not. Even if next time it gets off that spot when you walk into the room... that is not a sign of submission merely that the cat just isn't in the mood to play that game again... today
Now it doesn't matter why it has done it... you have got what you want and the cat is happily pretending to not be the predator that it is.
Of course in the case of our cat it is actively plotting its revenge...

In all of this you may be wondering well why do this? Well the thing is without the ability to put one on the floor, you will end up living with someone who will ruin your furniture and not even have the grace look apologetic. Add to that the small and important fact that ultimately one isn't interested in being in charge... well not long term though one will have a run at it... just for practise... unlike Him who loves it and does care :)
Besides, when one rolls over and shimmies along...

Thursday, June 7, 2012

A smart slave

Does not open the shower door while He is in there and say...
Just thought you should feel how much of a draft this lets in when you do it.
Well not if she wants to stay dry at any rate L

You know they ask for full disclosure...

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

The trouble...

With big breasts is that they catch everything...

Monday, June 4, 2012

The end of innocence

It was a lovely day of doing nothing. Well not exactly nothing there was some laundry done and some dishes, a little personal grooming, a few meals... a little book reading. Mostly though it was slothful and for the first time in quite some while the day was not bisected with a nap... hence having time to read a book. All in all it was a fabulous day mainly because it was pain free...

In fact while standing in the shower the thought crossed the mind that it was probably time to get the Njoy back where it belonged. If only because His kindness and patience would soon end and he would want to get back to life as it should be... well it has been five days... that's a lifetime in sex years. That's not to say we haven't been having sex just that the arse hasn't been getting its daily reaming with something... be it Him or steel.

It was as one was having this internal conversation that the shower door opened and He appeared. Speak of the Devil and all that... That was how one ended up pressed up against the very cold tiles as He held one by the scruff of the neck and sodomised the almost virgin again arse. With short brutal thrust that made one cry out He reclaimed what is his.

Afterwards one said thankyou politely, though one did add that gratitude wasn't exactly the emotion that was being experienced at that moment.
Why not He exclaimed, I was restrained.
Yes He was... and he still made the poor little thing bleed L

And for the record that bloody Njoy is damned uncomfortable after nearly a week's absence. 

Sunday, June 3, 2012


His hand reached out lazily to pinch a nipple and being tired and not really thinking, one slid a hand in to protect it from the assault...
What do you think you are doing He enquired.
Ummm... protecting the property?
Yes, it is the first duty of a slave to protect the property.
No, it isn't He laughed. Your first duty is to obey your Master.
No, according to Fet...
If you bring that trash into the bedroom He cut in, you will not be reading Fet anymore.
But it's such a source of information and inspiration... already one could feel oneself losing that particular argument, but it was very late and the logic skills were fading, along with any desire to be awake.

Gathering one up in His arm, he tucked one against his shoulder. Snuggling against Him one sighed with contentment... right before realising one was now trapped. His arm curled across one's chest and his fingers reached up to grasp the nipple in a vice like grip. Whimpering in pain one squirmed in his arms to no effect.
Master that hurts
Yes, He said in that infuriating, calm voice. But you're getting wet.
Yes you are He asserted.
He rolled over and slid his fingers into the betraying cunt
See, He said as he rolled back, still keeping one tucked into his shoulder.

All the while one lay there in His arms writhing, whimpering and getting more aroused...
He lay there masturbating; tweaking and tugging at the nipple with increasing force, aroused by the small, animalistic noises of pain...
The little moans and yips of pain a backdrop to the rhythmic stroking of His cock...
Until at last He came and rolled over to go to sleep
Leaving one soaking wet and throbbing with a mixture of pain and pleasure.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Twoo domism

A while back when surfing Fet... hey masochism takes many forms... one was fascinated to read this little pearl. Oh it wasn't a real pearl... more one of those cheap and poorly made fake ones... but one digresses...
Some domly type was pontificating on collars and uttered the statement that...
"If you can take it off it's not a collar, it's a necklace"

Now at the time one merely spat morning mouse on reading that little bit of wisdom. Thinking about all the times the collar(s) have been off in the six? seven? years (why is it one can never keep track of anniversaries?) we have been doing this one came up with this list
  • The MRI for the dental implant
  • Numerous chest X-rays
  • Heat rash... the joys of that sub-tropical climate (the one that seems to be on holiday elsewhere atm)
  • Of late it has been on/ off like a whore's drawers due to the shoulder pain... hell if you need assistance out of a bra then you do not need a heavy collar
  • The odd blue moon when He has granted permission to wear some of the silver collection
Now none of these were life threatening situations... then they would just cut the fucker off... hmm...

The whole thing made one very grateful to be owned by a sane, rational human being...
OK there might have been a brief moment of self congratulatory back patting there for making such a good choice.
Right before wondering why anyone would choose the gentleman in question...
That question has been bugging one ever since.

Obviously it would be someone who has never actually worn a collar... surely?
And they would have to be... a bit of a fantasist too... surely?
Like does attract like after all...
This means you have two slightly delusional people in a meeting of like minds
Somewhere out there is his perfect mate...
We can almost guess how the rest of that little fairy story goes...

Friday, June 1, 2012

A day of miracles and wonder

Today for the first time in months one woke up feeling... unbelievably good. It felt like the body was firing on all cylinders. If there had been more time one would have hauled on running shoes and trotted round the block. Well if it hadn't been raining and the lungs wouldn't have ended up screaming after the first ten paces... it's been a while since the last gym visit because of the pain.

Scampering off to work, clutching a fresh bit of home baking (courtesy of His mother) for the work colleagues' morning tea, one realised just how much pain one has actually been in. And for how long it has been there. Sometimes we need the absence of pain to actually notice how much of it we were in... a high pain tolerance isn't always a good thing. As evidenced by that sprained ankle last year... the ankle that one small slave was back working on the next week...

Anyway the cause of all this happiness you may be wondering? Ah the miracles of modern medication... in this case an aggressive anti-inflammatory. Something one was somewhat reluctant to take not only because of its known side effects, but because... well one wasn't in that much pain.
Well not all the time at any rate...
Admittedly there were times one couldn't get a bra off unaided and there was the matter of the three hour naps after lunch.
But really the pain wasn't bad...

Not difficult...

But one was only too happy to get home and rustle in the tinfoil, hunting the nights capsule, by the time one got home.
See the trouble with the absence of pain is that you notice it when it comes back L