Sunday, June 30, 2013

Today in our history

It was wet and cold. Not a bit cold, but bloody freezing. We spent it huddled under blankets on the couch. Individual blankets might one add as it was too cold to risk someone else's movements letting in a draft. We made for a pitiful sight...
Mind you Frog Boy was wrapped in a dressing gown as well so...

The grandchild was down for a visit so we were subjected to a show and tell of things acquired at Disney on Ice. We were both rather awe struck by the sight of a $20 balloon. Well more that His mother had payed for such an item. Actually He was gobsmacked, muttering dark things about how he would have been told that a whole packet could be bought at the supermarket for less. Ah the competitive nature of humans... it is what got us out of the caves most likely J

The cold was completely unrelenting and by the time we went to bed all one could think about was making it under the covers in record time. He had other ideas...
Might one mention that the only parts of Him that were exposed to the elements during that idea were covered by one small slave?
That whole usury thing was sort of a two-for deal L
Mutters that has to come off that compounding debt surely?

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Love hurts

He put his head around the bedroom doorway, on his way out to work, and made a goodnight threat before saying cheerily love you
Blinking at Him, huddled under the doona feeling threatened, one expressed grave doubts as to the veracity of his love.
Did I not leave up the Stockroom's email about the electro sex sale He asked
Yes, yes you did and that is rather a case in point
Shudders that word does not mean what He thinks it means L

Friday, June 28, 2013

Conflicts of interest

Currently there is a bit of a hunt going on for some dresses. A hunt that He is aiding with his particular brand of help... which as many readers will know doesn't always help one small slave at all. He left a very sexy dress up on the screen for one to find on arriving home...
Did you like the dress He asked
Oh it was lovely. Just a little unsure where one would wear it... electric blue satin minis aren't exactly appropriate for grocery shopping
Why not He said, sounding surprised
Umm... well it doesn't offer any protection from the cold nor does it cover one's arse... well it does, it just doesn't cover it when bending or reaching for anything
Whispers you know sometimes one suspects He doesn't quite understand the point of clothes at all

Thursday, June 27, 2013

As an observation

In the current place of employment we occasionally get promo t-shirts. They are usually brightly coloured with logos blazoned across the chest...
For the record phrases like 'mega volume" take on a whole new context when stretched across E cup breasts.
Oh well, at least they didn't manage to squeeze 'greater flexibility' on there are well K

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Dreamscapes for 1000

Though one of us tried valiantly to exit the bed this morning He had other ideas. In fact He seemed to take the frantic wriggling as some sort of indicator of interest. That is the only explanation as to why He held one against him firmly as he slid into a cunt still wet from the night before. Well that and the fact that slim legs and a diminished arse offer no protection from such things.
And they say reducing your weight is good for your health L

Think of me He said cheerily, as he dropped one off at the mine (otherwise known as work). Of course being ever obedient one did... it just probably wasn't the thoughts He had in mind. 'Cos as one was meandering around at work, desperately trying to look busy... school holidays are always quiet... the conversation from last night resurfaced. We rarely chat after sex... mainly 'cos one small slave tends towards rolling over and going to sleep. Last night though we had one of those disturbing conversations that the memory tucked away... for safety self protection

The conversation started innocently as one expressed a desire to get the belly button piercing that had got put off in hurly burly of life
Really was His monosyllabic reply... a word laced with disbelief
Well you won't let one get the nipple piercings that one has always fancied
I wouldn't be able to do this He said, reaching out to viciously tug at a nipple
Umm... He would, but one thought it sensible to not mention that... the self preservation is only partly gone

I thought we were still going to get the clit piercing He added
Umm... didn't realise that you were serious about that. Besides you won't permit the nipple piercings 'cos you don't want a mouthful of metal. Why there? You like oral sex
Yeah but it's not really going through your clit... it's the hood. And besides they are hot
No. No they are not! And it will mean no sex for a while
Oh I'll still be able to have sex He said smugly
Oh well so long as your sexual needs are catered for... that's all that matters
Yes, yes it is He replied

Mutters He really doesn't hear sarcasm at all L

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Well that's over

It was an incredibly late night (early morning) as it turned out... though one of us had the sense to go to sleep when they crawled between the sheets. It was followed up by a relatively early hairdressing appointment with the hairdresser in her new abode. Unfortunately she is also working with a new range of hair products... which was where things went a little wrong. The hair that should have been a copper red with chocolate is now mostly copper red with a rather bright shade of marigold.

Oh it looks fabulous. It just wasn't quite what we were aiming for. To add insult to injury the hair product has left the hair limp and greasy so it will have to be washed. Ah well such are the vagaries of hair... well this hair at any rate. It might not be able to knot and one might not own any hair taming products, actually there isn't so much as a hair brush, but it can be difficult in other ways L

On the bright side there was some very good sex followed by an early night. So the day wasn't a complete fizzer J

Monday, June 24, 2013

Today down the hole

Today was noteworthy for only one reason. Oddly enough it wasn't a bad day... just sort of uneventful. Oh laundry was done, the hairdresser who has been AWOL phoned to confirm a hairdressing appointment (you have no idea how hard it is to find a decent hairdresser in sunny Queensland, to be honest one was starting to despair) and we caught up with our vanillas, who are worthy of a sidebar in a minute.

The star of the day though was Him. Today He hit goal weight and has officially lost 41 kg (just over 90 pounds). He is a much healthier, leaner man than one met all those years ago. Actually He doesn't resemble that man at all. Somewhere along the way He became the one who is hard to the touch rather than one small slave. It will take some getting used to... perhaps lots of touching will help J

The diet has had some rather interesting effects on our vanillas though. He has always been a possessive, jealous type and having seen pictures of her as a young slip of a thing, one could see why he had such a name as a brawler. She is about to return to the workforce, get her driver's license and has got to her pre baby weight. And he is starting to quietly freak out... to the point of trying to sabotage their diet.

It is kind of sad to watch a couple who have been together as long as we have wander down that path 'cos she has no intention of stopping...
She likes being at home in her body and eating...
And he doesn't realise he is trying to stop her.
Unfortunately she is astute enough to realise that he is.
Sighs it will be very interesting to see how this pans out...

Sunday, June 23, 2013

The save the slave fund

The day dawned clear and bright so off one scampered for a run. It was a sort of warm up, training session before hitting sales. Frankly there were that many people milling around that one probably should have sharpened the elbows as well.  Some people are very keen aggressive shoppers L

He ended up buying some jeans and work trousers and a pair of boots...
His funds have now dwindled and one small slave's arse is safe from that hideous toy
Now if He just keeps losing weight...
And we keep repeating this cycle...
The arse should be safe for... oooh months at least
Beams happily in relief

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Oh hell no!

You know sometimes there are anal toys that make even one small slave cringe. Such was the offering He left up this evening.
Um... no! Just no!
This was payback for having to return to the sales wasn't it?
Mind you He needs new work pants and jeans as well...
Perhaps this impending disaster can be averted J

Friday, June 21, 2013

Back to the drawing board

Scampering home in the chill night air (winter is starting to bite here) one noticed that the work pants were starting to ride lower on the hip than before. Unfortunately low considering they are supposed to be mid rise trousers. Sighing with resignation one had a shower and pulled on parts of the winter wardrobe... the parts one had grave doubts about at any rate.

You know sometimes it is not good to have your suspicions confirmed 'cos there is now a large hole where the warm clothes are meant to be L

Most of those clothes are now in a pile. Dresses that had waists are now sitting so low on the hips they are drop waisted, skirts that needed a bit of a tweak are going to need four inches taken out of them (which will move back pockets to the hips unless one completely takes the garment apart to do the alterations) and dresses that were clingy and sexy are now... saggy.

The only things that still fit are the dresses that He insisted one buy... the smalls. In other words the ones that were too tight and too short for comfort.

He smirked quietly in his whiskers as one lamented about the state of affairs...
And for the life of one it was hard to tell if it was because He was right or if it was the prospect of one small slave spending the winter buck naked and huddled against him for warmth...
Oh that's right...
He's one of the frog people these days...
There is no warmth on offer
Back to the sales it is...
That should wipe the smirk of His whiskers J

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Just as the sun was rising...

He stumbled out into the light bearing a raging hard on. Going over to Him for a hug... yes people it was simple affection that drove one into his arms... one small slave wrapped an arm around him (he is getting that slim) and a hand around his cock. His hand slipped down the pyjama pants and between one's thighs. We stood there a moment, pressed up against one another, contemplating each other's genitals...
Until the back said no!

Sighs yes that's right the back, that had just hours earlier permitted a run, as we watched the sun come up over the bay from the gym window, said no to a standing orgasm.

Reluctantly we broke apart...
Well it was more that we moved to the kitchen bench...
Where one was unceremoniously bent over it and fucked from behind.
Leaving one oozing cum He wandered off, while one small slave had to inelegantly stumble around with pyjama bottoms wrapped around ankles. Why is there never a tissue when you need one?

To be honest one isn't sure what was packed in His lunch box, but really any lack is entirely his fault J

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Limb saving

You know sometimes one feels that you don't hear the sarcasm in the tone being used.
Oh no He replied blithely, I hear it. I choose to ignore it, to save my hand being used repeatedly on your arse.
See in this relationship limb chopping isn't a fear. He's strictly into the conservation of limbs J

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Where did we go wrong?

The back is slowly returning to normal. In fact it allowed a one to run a couple of laps, in between the walking. Off one scampered to tell Him the good news...
His eyebrow spiralled up his face in disbelief. Right before He questioned the wisdom of the action.

At times you can just suck the joy out of any occasion... air goes in and negativity comes out. Besides, the running means that it is probably OK to try sex. Well a bit of masturbation at any rate...

How much damage could that cause?
Well one did find out, but we will get back to that shortly...

So later in the evening when He said "come on you, let's go to bed" one got quietly excited...
Right up until the words "I would like to play Skylanders for a while" followed. That was not what one had in mind at all. In fact one is pretty sure no woman ever has that in mind. So there one sat, graciously dutifully minding the portal, quietly wondering where it all went so wrong.

Oh He did relent and yet it still went wrong. It was not the gentle masturbation followed by a small quiet orgasm that one had in mind at all. No, it was much bigger and longer and caused the back to spasm and jack-knife in a rather painful manner. And that can be attributed to Him... or rather what he was doing to one at the time.  

In fact one might have muttered hate you as He made the body carry on orgasming...
Damn the body and its ability to morph some types of pain into sexual ecstasy. And damn Him for so many things...
Mutters really He shouldn't be left in charge of the incapacitated... he just takes advantage K

Monday, June 17, 2013

No enteric coating

Rolling over in bed the back made an audible click, signalling the beginning of the end of disc issues. Oh there is pain, but nothing like it was. Though as one hobbled to the gym like a shuffling geriatric it was hard to remember that the pain was less. There was enough pain relief afterwards though to make one fractious and bored. In fact one whined to Him about the tedious nature of incapacitation.

He heartily agreed
It's the lack of sex that get to you isn't it? If there was sex you wouldn't care how incapacitated one was
Yes indeed He agreed feverently. Sex makes everything so, so, so much better
You know just occasionally one realises that you are even shallower than one suspects
Whispers you know just occasionally one does notice that pain and boredom do seem to conspire to make a person snappier that normal... or perhaps it is the lack of sex

That shallow theory did seem to play out though as one's throne was wheeled into the bedroom so He could put one to better use...
Some of you may be having fantastic ides about sex involving chairs right about now...
'Cos the reality was much more mundane...

His second series of Skylanders is almost complete. So one small slave was parked near the end of the bed, conveniently next to the portal, where one was used as a spare set of hands to put the figures on one after the other... all fifty plus of them... so He could gather bonus points that made his team stronger. Then, when He started to play in earnest, one small slave got to put on the pieces as he directed from the comfort (something of a euphemism when the disc is bulging) of the bed.

After several hours of this He turned and said they've done a really good job with this game. They've kept the bits that worked and added extra things. It's very enjoyable isn't it?
What can a girl do except say yes Master...

Whispers they grind you down in the end... always! 

Sunday, June 16, 2013


The back and its bulging (you know for the record one still prefers the euphemistic term slipped... it sounds far more dire) disc are alive and well and ruling the body with their incessant demands for stability and the office chair. For some reason the back likes that chair with its warm smell of leather, its ability to swivel and its gently padded lumber support... can't imagine why. OK it does have the additional advantage of being His chair, but one is quite sure even the back isn't that petty J

Before we claimed our throne for the day one did go to the gym for a walk and they are right, it does help enormously with the pain. Mind you the endorphins it shoots round the body are also far superior to anything that comes out of a tinfoil packet for pain relief, so maybe one is not the best judge of help. Of course being experimental by nature one just had to try a little jog in there. That was interesting.

When the disc goes out it presses on the sciatic nerve which causes a lot of discomfort. Well one discovered that it also pinches on a nerve that terminates between the thumb and the forefinger. It was the most peculiar sensation... like having sciatica in the hand. Yeah... not so good a sensation that one persisted with the running to be honest. Endorphins can only make some types of pain interesting and that wasn't one of them.

And so, one small and slightly sweaty slave, returned home to spend the day ensconced in the chair watching Game of Thrones.
And rocked...
And swivelled...
And heartily wished out loud that there was more blonde chick and dragons...
And less bleak snow and ice.

Immobility does not suit the rest of the body at all L

Saturday, June 15, 2013

The reprieve

He emerged from the cave of darkness (formally known as the bedroom) to find one small slave lying supine on the lounge. An eyebrow raised on His sleep rumpled face forming a question...
Umm... you know that disc? Well as they say euphemistically... it's slipped... again
Ahh... was His monosyllabic reply. I assume you did not go to the gym... there was doubt in His voice. He knows one small slave rather too well sometimes.

Er... no. Actually this happened at work on Friday reaching over to pick up an empty basket. On the upright swing one zigged while the back zagged.
Well I don't expect to find you waiting for me in the morning. Stay in the chair or bed if it feels better.
Actually they are right it is better to keep moving so one might go to the gym for a walk or a run...
He looked at one rather the same way you do when a crazy person pronounces that they are some member of royalty
And for the record one could get down to kneel. It's just that the getting back up is the problem

He glowered from under his lashes and said...
Don't think that I haven't noticed that your back goes out at the most convenient of times. I get a cage, it goes out. The last time it did this I'd just receive the stockade. I'm starting to detect a very disturbing pattern here.

Where's the trust? All these years and it's still absent. Besides one had plans of cleaning out the hall cupboard (otherwise known as the place of all lost things)... with His help. He should be grateful L

Friday, June 14, 2013

I wanna pony

Well He says it's my birthday coming up I think I'd like a threesome. You'd better start looking; there isn't that much time.

Yeah... see He wants a very special pony... the kind with a horn on its head. Now personally one would like the free time needed to wade through the crazy that little idea will generate. Life being what it is though, one deeply suspects that neither of us is going to be getting what we want. If only 'cos He wants the rarest of the rare... a girl unicorn. Now if He was reasonable and wasn't so fussy it would be a simple matter of dropping him off at the nearest beat and...

Sighs but no... He's not reasonable L

Thursday, June 13, 2013

You know...

Going to the gym early in the morning to run is sort of... well it's a bit like meditation in some ways. It's all about finding the right head space, getting into the groove... zoning out the rest of the world. When it all comes together the body hits the point of total awareness. One can feel the abdominals as they move; the heart beat is like a song. In fact in that state one goes quite deaf... which given our gyms propensity towards MTV's top 40 is something of a blessing. Mutters Taylor Swift is a whiney nasal #***!!!  who should be gagged.

Rather like the two school teachers who were using the gym this morning...
How does one know their profession you may be wondering? Oh that is due to the fact they talked shop the entire time they were there. Not just talked shop, but puffed it out at the top of their lungs. Honestly if you have that much air you simply aren't exercising enough...
In fact if they had been a little closer one would have reached out and hit the speed button on their treadmills. To add insult to injury one of them commented, as she completed the exactly two minutes of rowing she yapped her way through, how good exercise had been for her stress levels...
That feeling was not shared!

Oh and while we are on the topic of thoughtless cunts one would like to put a special thank you out into the ether to the little gem who loaded up 250 kg of weights on the dip machine and left them there. Guess you weren't quite strong enough to rack the weights afterwards...
No let's leave that for the next lucky gym goer...
A woman who is probably a quarter of your size K

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Contrasting highlights

The day started with snuggles and a snooze in His arms. It was followed by half asleep and half awake sex. It's that wonderful state when things aren't quite real and the head sort of stays out of the way while the body takes over. Mind you His hip bones felt very real as did other parts of his anatomy.

The snuggle and snooze is a very rare thing though 'cos He normally trends towards too damn hot to be near for any length of time... not to mention too dangerous. Since losing all that fat though He has become one of the frog people... cold all the time.
OMG! It wasn't affection at all...
He was just using one like a human hot water bottle

Anyway the morning ended with being sick as a dog and a round trip from home to work and back to home.
Such are the vagaries of life L

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Cross purpose

Getting dressed is not always a safe business around here. This morning was a prime example. Trying on a new pair of tights one small slave concentrated on getting the hearts lined up, while He aimed at them.

According to Him the hearts needed to be red L

Monday, June 10, 2013

Screw the roses

Well here it is, as promised, a picture of the early birthday present. Actually He might have gone a little crazy as he bought the set; there is a necklace and ear cuff as well. He has a strange habit of buying one small slave necklaces. It's strange 'cos He rarely grants permission for the collar to come off. Shrugs such is the whimsy of Masters.

Any way the piece is called Passion and was made by Alchemy 77. If you have never visited their site you might like to take a couple of minutes to snoop around if you taste runs to the Gothic. They do some fabulous pieces and they do post worldwide. 
Happy perusing J

Sunday, June 9, 2013


It was a day of surprises both big and small. The first major surprise was that one small slave woke up early. And they say threats don't work as a motivator. He looked equally surprised to see one waiting at the door... smirks quietly in relief.

That smirk was rather dislodged by the surprise sodomy in the shower. There one was luxuriating in hot water and peace, when a hand reached out of nowhere to grasp a cheek. It solicited a loud shriek of surprise. Mind you what followed cause a few squeaks of a different kind L

Any residual smirk was completely obliterated as we trotted out to get a pet cage. Oh it's not the cage per se that is the issue. That seemed rather fun not to mention a nice place for a snooze. No it was His reluctance to buy a foam mat for the bottom of it... something about absorbent pet mats being quite adequate for what he had in mind. Well that and His talk about getting some doweling to put through the bars to keep one in place L

The next surprise was another early birthday present. Now that was a surprise 'cos He had already bought some rather spiffy boots for the occasion, but there they were. Handed over with all due ceremony in their original store wrapping. He's such a romantic... just not a very conventional one J
 (Will post a pic later on... there are some minor camera issues at the moment)

Of course the biggest surprise was later in the night when we went over to our (it seems not quite) vanillas for pre-birthday drinks and cake. Oh the conversation while the men went out for a couple of essentials was revealing, but not a complete surprise. No it was the speed with which she managed to down the best part of two bottles of champagne. She didn't leave them so much as a celebratory drop for their return.

Having hung out with some serious drinkers in ones time all one can liken it to was watching someone inhale... quite effortless and unthinking. It was almost breath taking in its pace. Mind you when she started to walk around the table hugging us all, her partner did take her back up booze off her... quietly and discretely. It might have been her suggestion that dancing naked could be on the cards that sparked that move on his part.

It was then that we discovered that the cake she had selected was a tiramisu one rather than our hoped for chocolate. We all looked at it mournfully... well He made frantic warding signs with his fingers as the smell of coffee wafted to his nostrils... as it was passed around. And so it was decided that next year not only was she not being left in charge of pouring the drinks, but that she was not going to be left in charge of the cake selecting either.

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Compassion through the looking glass

Might not be back from the gym when you come home tomorrow morning
He looked up from the computer and raised an eyebrow
Well the body is doing its pretend period thing and one might sleep in
That's OK He said in an understanding tone
The slave senses started to tingle...

Yes well one does know you prefer to have one there to greet you, it's just that a run is going to be needed... Whispers there's cake on the horizon you see
Really its OK He repeated. I do understand. Besides it will give me a perfect opportunity to punish you

Standing there one blinked at Him in disbelief
There's still that whip I haven't had a chance to try out yet He said
You know one doesn't think that understand means what you think it does and since when do you need an excuse to punish?
Oh I don't really; it just seemed like a fun idea He beamed happily... revealing too many teeth for comfort

Mutters don't think that means what He thinks it means either

Friday, June 7, 2013


A while ago one mentioned that a large selection of butt plugs, MEOs and Rosebud alike, are missing. Well they still are. How you manage to lose four of five of the damn things in a small place is a complete mystery to us. He has however, managed to recall wrapping them in a towel and putting them somewhere safe when we had to hurriedly de-sex the place due to impending visitors.
The hunt continues...
And He has stopped looking at one small slave with deepening suspicion in his eyes J

Thursday, June 6, 2013


You know I'm going to keep you... caged if necessary He added with a smile
Sighs we really shouldn't visit pet shops L

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Well damn...

On Monday one small slave returned to the gym to resume weights and discovered a few things...
First, just 'cos you can get enough air down for running does not mean that you won't puff and cough when doing weights. Honestly one had no idea how much oxygen was needed to do weights. Actually that's not quite true... one did know as a hazy nebulous concept. The reality is a lot more concrete.

Second, when you are fit and strong the muscles just do their job, often leaving you wondering what a particular exercise was all about. Well let's just say that one now knows in a very intimate way... they all hurt like hell.

Third, they are right the third day is the worst for muscle pain...

Oh dear gods why did one go back to the gym...
Everything from the neck to the knees is a solid mass of individual muscles groups screaming in pain and disbelief
And that was only the leg and shoulder program
There are two more programs left for the week L

Tuesday, June 4, 2013


Chermside, as some of you are aware, installed paid parking a while back much to the annoyance of many people. We rarely go there any more unless it is something important and we plan on spending enough money to get the parking validated. Today was one of those odd times where we planned on going to attend the preview of a stocktake sale, have some dinner and meet up with our vanillas to go to a movie. All in all it was going to be at least 11.30 pm before we got out of there... so roughly six hours.

Now the way the parking is structured is that after 6.00 pm is free. The sale started at 5.30 so one thought it was better to check how they planned on charging us... theoretically as the first three hours are free and it is free after 6.00...
That is not the case at all. Oh no, if we had arrived at 5.30 then we would have been charged full fees for the evening. And of course there was no way to get the parking validated after 5.30 as the concierge has gone home. Needless to say we did not spend as much time, or for that matter money, at the sale as we planned. Sigh and they wonder why retail is struggling L

We did have a quick dinner that was excellent, before meeting our vanillas to go and see Star Trek. Both He and his mini-me ducked into the amusement arcade first. Like a couple of children we found them huddled in some pirate thing... in fact we had to physically winkle them out of it before we missed the start of the movie...
And you know something? One deeply suspects we were the only twoo geeks at the movie. We were the only ones laughing at the jokes...
It was kinda sad J

Monday, June 3, 2013

The predicament of sex

There are those who believe that oral sex is un-masterly. They see performing oral sex as an innately submissive act. Thankfully He is not one of those people. It's one of those sexual acts that He enjoys.

He enjoys it in part because he is very good at it, in fact he has elevated it to something of an art form and one says that as a woman who has slept with a lot of people of both genders...
There is this little misconception that women are going to be good at oral sex... yeah not a given one is sorry to say. It's like all arts; it needs to be practised.
And He enjoys it because he likes to torture one with it.

And you know as the person with every fibre of their being sobbing, screaming and begging for release...
Yeah have to say one didn't feel too in control at all...
And there was certainly no control over the noise of the orgasm when He finally allowed it...
In fact there are probably a few neighbours who are wondering what the fuck we were doing...
'Cos the sound wasn't exactly human J

Sunday, June 2, 2013


When you have friends, the real live flesh and blood kind, there are all sorts of time honoured acts that you end up doing for them... often against your better judgement. You do these acts for a number of reasons; it's good to help others, you never know when you might need their help and of course, most importantly of all, sometimes it makes up for some mean thing you might have done to them. This day definitely falls into the latter category.

It was spent atoning for introducing them to the Valleys. A show that they, against their better judgement, sit glued to with all the horror and revulsion that show can generate. It was an act of bastardry that He might never be forgiven for and that we were trying to offset just a little. That was how we found ourselves helping clean out their garage so that it could be turned into a multipurpose room that would encompass a home gym.

Since going on the diet they have taken to early morning exercise with a great deal of enthusiasm. Their local gym is also damned expensive and they do not have time to go to it anyway, so having their own equipment is a sensible compromise. So we spent the day lugging and schlepping the accumulated detritus of two adults and their two offspring to the dump. Four people who, might one add, seem to have used their garage as a staging ground for all things that might come in useful (at some vague point in the future) and had unrealistic beliefs about how infinite garage space is.

Now if he can just find a way of getting rid of his children's dress up box and the chest of assorted Lego that they have almost outgrown, he will have enough room to put in a bench and a rack system for the weights that he is going to need to go with the twenty kilo bar he managed to acquire.
Was it wrong to plant that idea in his head? Yeah probably, but he is going to need somewhere safe to store the weights.
It's a safety issue...
We must protect the children... surely J

Saturday, June 1, 2013


This is a small rant about clothes... so those of you who are more into naked might want to avert your eyes now...
You have been warned J

One of the things found at father's place, as we cleared out the remnants of his accumulated life, was a picture of one as a young woman looking incredibly slim in a creamy white dress. An ironic colour for someone who has as many food accidents as one does... those damn breasts catch everything. Looking at the picture it was hard to imagine one was ever that tiny... but damn the shoes were hot! Red Stuart Weitzmans that cost a small fortune even in the 80's J

At the time of high school one measured 36-26-36. It was what we used to call a size 12, though the breasts were a little bigger than the stock standard 34" of the time.  As one became an adult that dropped to 34-24-34 and so one became a size 10... about the size one was in that picture. It is a strange thing that one can't remember things like anniversaries, but can remember the size of that dress and indeed how much it cost and for that matter where it was purchased from. In fact one can even remember the comment the sales assistant made to her colleague. Go figure J

Anyway one is now back in a 10, but it is not the 10 of one's youth.  To be honest as a mature adult one doubts that a 24 inch waist is attainable or even desirable. It does however, serve to demonstrate how much our clothing, along with our meals, has been upsized. They call it vanity sizing and in the last 20 years alone it has added about two inches to our bust and about four inches to our waists and hips. It is the result of clothing manufactures realising that you can sell more clothes to women if you can get them into a smaller size.

The reality is that we are getting larger as a species. And one can't help but wonder if vanity sizing does us a service in the end. If we believe we are not getting any bigger as time passes, then we have no need to ever run a critical gaze over what we are consuming.  One of the most accurate measures of how we are doing in the weight loss battle is our clothing. The damn stuff never lies, unlike our scales L

The thing is now it does lie. Our pants get too tight and we go out and buy a new pair in the same size as before, blaming the fabric for shrinking rather than ourselves for expanding. It comes about for the simple reason that we are excellent at lying to ourselves. That little glitch that allows us to adjust to the unbearable in order to survive is conspiring to kill us one mouthful at a time L