A small rant...

That is completely non BDSM or Fet related.

You have been warned :)

You decide to have an internet business. You set up your website. You keep a good selection of products. You list them all by their number...

You are selling threads. Every type of thread imaginable; tapestry threads, sewing threads, beading threads, silk threads, embroidery threads...

And you don't put up one freaking picture or colour chart anywhere.

To add insult to injury the only place that seems to have pictures of the colours and the numbers is an Amazon stockist. Of course someone has a hazy idea of colour, as things labelled blue are next to what is clearly a picture of a yellow thread. Leaving one a little unclear as to which one to believe... text or picture... eeny meenie miny...

And people wonder why their online businesses go under...

And why their customers go insane. It's not incipient old age, its dealing with shit like this.

Sobs in frustration at these being the only two options for suppliers of a particular type of quilting thread available...

You know...

Having been too sick to do much but read and snuffle around Fet, today has been a day of revelations. We read about sub-frenzy, that delicious state where perfectly sane, rational adult women take leave of their senses the minute they get involved with some online domeo. We watch it, comment on it, try to talk some sense into them... well some of you do... people like oneself are not quite that masochistic... but one digresses. The shit gets played out over group after group; the beginnings of it, the middle of and the often all too predictable end of it.

Does that stop these women? No. No it does not. Every one of them shoots that rapid with brave naivety, only to come a cropper on those pesky rocks of reality. And as they flounder around, every last one of them cries poor me. Or worse goes on to be one of the authors of those bloody red flag lists that the next wave of brain addled twits won't read... well at least not before it's too late.

To add insult to injury those who do take the time to try and talk some sense into these women... you know silly things like;

You're a 40 year old woman, would you do x in a vanilla dating situation?

If you haven't met him and can only ring him between the hours of x and y, has it occurred to you he might be married?

So you are performing for him on Skype, you do know he can record it right?

If x is making you uncomfortable enough to ask these questions, do you think that might be common sense trying to prevail?

The list goes on, but you get the idea...

All of that help is usually met with some whiney little cunt going you're so mean to her, you're just old and jealous (yes that must be it) and of course the perennial favourite; you always sound so superior and look down on others...

Sweetie there is no superiority in trying to stem stupidity. What you are watching is benevolence in the form of tough love...

Something that should have been administered to some years ago...

Preferably before they hopped on the net, neatly divesting themselves of all their life skills as part of some sort of bizarre cleansing ritual and making complete asses of themselves in public.

Honestly stupid should hurt more!

This rant is brought to you by one small surly slave whose pain threshold may not be as high as it should be before reading Fet.

Pet peeve

Reading over coffee one came across the comment that the person was young and of course they thought their relationship would last forever... it wouldn't.

Now, one is the first to admit that there are more than a few relationships under the belt. They were learning experiences. It was how one figured out how to do relationships in many ways. As a child from a family that specialised in acrimonious divorces or partners that just disappeared, good role models weren't exactly thick on the ground.

He on the other hand comes from a family where the women come out of the womb singing stand by your man. The men don't seem to be too far behind the women either judging by His brother. Now most of them only seem to have a rudimentary grasp of interpersonal communications or how to be gracious while in those relationships, but they understand the idea of sticking to the plan.

The thing is though that some relationships do last forever. Some people do manage to choose a partner at an early age and stick with them. Just because others don't have this experience, shouldn't mean that they get to piss all over someone else's parade. Unless, of course, they managed to get that non defective crystal ball. In which case they could give some constructive advice...

On that last day of the month of May day don't cross the road, go to the new coffee shop and end up in bed with a complete stranger. It will end the relationship.

Honestly good relationships are hard to find. They require work and perseverance to maintain. Most won't make the distance as it is. What they don't need is someone, whose failed relationship/ s clouds all other interactions, pronouncing its imminent death.

Unless that person does happen to have that crystal ball

Whispers and we all know that the chances of that are even lower than the chances of divorce

How to take over the world

Every once in a while Fet produces one of those special creatures... the ones that have the capacity to morph into legends in their own lifetime. Rather like Icarus they don on their feathers and shoot for the sky. In fact if you were to plot the trajectory of the latest one it goes something like this...

Step one: Appear out of nowhere appealing to people for information about being a master.

Step two: About a year later resurface with two or three subs in tow and kick off; as a master, mentor, BDSM practitioner and pro-dom that is part of a leather family and put on events.

Step three: Complete the transformation by getting into a few skirmishes on Fet boards. There really is no such thing as bad publicity.

Step four: Then clean up your act by going strangely quiet before applying for a job as a carebear. There doesn't need to be any hope of getting the job, hell you don't even need to be in the right country, but the application makes it seem as though you are very community minded while getting you some more publicity.

Step five: Announce that you are starting up your own ambitious project; a community BDSM Wiki. Of course then you have to announce, sadly, that you will have to retain control as other people have been less than supportive of your vision...

Ummm... that's code for you didn't like their reality or their insistence on injecting it into the Wiki

Now cynical, snarky, little no knickers over here can't help but think...

Being a douche should stop you from being able to do this, but it barely seems to slow him down. It is not going to stop him getting into the minds of all those new people who don't have a clue and have even less idea how to sort of the good from the criminally stupid. Rather like that guy and his 128 Rules... and he is legendary... his twatwaffle will go on to infect hundreds of people, that we on boards all over the world will have to deal with. It will be the stuff of... endless hours of entertainment one suspects.

It would be so nice if that trajectory could be helped to its natural conclusion and they would end up crashing and burning. Most of them do. Alas one can't help but think this will not be the case here...

Sighs sometimes they are too good at strapping on those wings

Shake, shake, shake...

It is that time of the year as it nears its close when people start to do the most foolish things. They start to make New Year's resolutions. This is the year that I will be more (insert adjective of choice).  I will be kinder rarely seems to be on that list as a casual observation, but it's that old chestnut of I will be thinner that is driving one to drink at the moment.

Since being stuck in weight management one has noticed a few common threads amongst all customers trying to lose weight. The trilogy seems to be no breakfast, under eating and the belief that they have a healthy dinner at night, when in reality it consists almost exclusively of carbs and not it bit of protein in sight. None of them want to deal with actual food, so they are coming in droves to pick up tubs of assorted powders...

You know a certain company, that one will not name, but has inflicted emotional grief upon women all over the world since the 70's, might have been owned by a company famous for baked beans and might have made its failed weigh ins wear pig masks, but it did at least make people deal with real food.

... They buy those tubs for one simple reason; they don't want to eat more meals, which is what their bodies actually need.

To add insult to injury so many of them turn around and say you've lost a lot of weight lately, what have you done? To which one replies well eaten more, a lot more. In fact one is snarfing food morning noon and night. Their eyes glaze over and they reply oh I don't have time to eat meals, I'd much rather have a shake.

So off they trot with their assorted pills and powders leaving one secure in the knowledge that we are in for a boom year in the weight management market.

It leaves a bad taste in the mouth... rather like some of those products.