Saturday, May 31, 2014

The birthday present

Our workplace is strangely harmonious for a bunch of girls. Hell most of them have been there a long time. There has however, been one fly in the ointment of serenity. They are the lying, weasel faced, run to the boss to complain type that is universally disliked by everyone, everywhere.

There has been one bright spot this week though; they are leaving. They have found another job to set themselves on the path to management. Not that most of us think they will last in their new job, eminently well qualified to be middle management though they are, as work is not one of this persons strong suits. What is it about middle management that seems to attract that type? Anyway musings on their qualifications aside that is not what this is about.

No this is about the dinner the girls were planning for one's birthday. In the seven years that one has worked with them, this will be the first birthday that has actually fallen on a workday. So feeling magnanimous one told the manager when it was so she could get them cake. It sort of grew into dinner when she realised that one couldn't actually eat the cake. Why one isn't sure. Surely the cake would be better on their hips than one's own? Anyway again this is not what this is about either...

This is about the rat faced team member deciding that it would be just easier to link their farewell to that get-together and doing it as one dinner. The girls came scuttling over to see if one was going to object, which part of them would have been thrilled about. The other part was praying that one would agree. Oh not for work place harmony or anything like that. No, it was the realisation that if one said no, they would have to go to the person's farewell. Something none of us want to do... a fact that was probably not lost on the leaving members mind.

So being gracious one said it was fine. In fact one was just going to regard it as the best birthday present ever. Mind you one did ask if the person could have a large red bow tied too tightly around their neck...
They said no

Friday, May 30, 2014

The colour purple

A friend, and one does use that term loosely after this incident, sent Him a link to all things purple. That's right, some person set up a store simply named The Purple Store
It is a store that contains all manner of things, all coloured...
You guessed it; purple.

Now generally one thinks that any long term couple shape, mould and tweak their partner. It's done quite subconsciously as a rule. In O/p M/s relationships it is quite often more overt and deliberate. It's one of those ideas that make outsiders extremely uncomfortable as a rule. 

But the whole purple thing is funny. Its light hearted and it makes them overlook that a favourite colour is a fundamental thing.  Oh it might change with time, but most people have a firm favourite...
For the record it's red dammit!
So rather than be appalled, many of our friends become His co-conspirators :(

He amused himself for some time calling out suggestions; how about a new bathrobe? It was however when He moved on to the idea of replacing the coffee mugs with ones marked I <3 purple to reinforce the idea on a daily basis that got a bite...
He threatened the coffee mugs...
It's akin to threatening the coffee

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Quips from down the hole

On your knees
You know there was a time when that meant something so much more interesting than taking off your boots
Mutters more sex and less service orientated, that's the trouble...yes let's go with that shall we :D

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Health checks down the hole

How's your nipple He enquired
Damn sore. Thank you for asking
You're welcome He replied with a smirk on his whiskers
Sighs that sarcasm meter of His is simply broken isn't it? :(

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Small things

We managed to fall into bed for a little afternoon delight. It was wedged in firmly between domestic stuff and a nap. The nap was unplanned. It was one of those spontaneous acts that occur after uttering the words "damn that is going to hurt when the feeling come back" and getting comfortable.
It's all His fault

Monday, May 26, 2014

Theories of attraction

We spent a pleasant few hours, until the arse lost all feeling and the back froze up in screaming protest, BBQing and gaming with our vanillas. It was mostly chatting about attraction theory; one of them at any rate. Well more its application in group dynamics.

There is this theory about how people choose someone most similar to themselves; in essence birds of a feather flock together. Now it seems quite logical in some ways. Most successful long term couples we know generally have tonnes in common. They chose someone with similar values to themselves and built on that commonality.

The thing is though it begs the question how did they find each other to begin with? Now one school thinks that it has something to do with a rating system. In fact they have conducted all sorts of experiments where people rate themselves from 1-10 and then they let them lose in a room full of the opposite sex. Generally people pair off with those they consider a similar ranking to themselves, though some will make a stab at those of a higher number.

There are many things that will affect how people rate themselves; self esteem is definitely one of them and of course self esteem is affected by many things in turn.  Those with very good self esteem will rate/ perceive themselves as a higher number. Where things go wrong is when a self rated 10 feels that they have ended up with a six, as was so clearly illustrated at that magical Christmas. Anyway you get the idea...

What we were talking about was the idea that in groups you always end up with the hot and the not and in a large group they have a tendency to cluster together. Now those with good self esteem might float around them and join in the peripheral, but the hot do not include them in their ranks by offering up a chair or anything of that nature. The nots on the other hand, though polite, do not make room for the hot. In fact they are actively considered competition and are treated as such... politely of course.

Our vanillas, lovely, bright inclusive people that they are (who regard each other as complete 10s) were mortified that some psychologist had thought up this explanation and experiments to begin with. There was a lot of squeaking about how they were attracted by people's minds and humour and, and, and...
Right up until confronted with photos and asked to rate them. They were in complete agreement as to the persons ranking...
Well at least, if they were that way inclined, they could agree to who they would be after :D