Sunday, February 9, 2014

Creative uses for your slave

Number 463
People often think that a slave having something... say a migraine... renders her useless to her master. After all she is sick. That would be a rookie mistake. She makes a very good napkin for when you have greasy fingers from the snack food you are eating.
Simply smear your fingers over her until they are clean.
There is the added bonus of hearing her whimper with gratitude at being found useful and pleasing to her master.

This helpful hint is brought to you in tones of dripping sarcasm


Anonymous said...

Your existence truly is a magical one.

ancilla_ksst said...

Wow, I totally missed the sarcasm. As the Master of ancilla ksst, I use her for a napkin all the time. She is very useful that way.


ancilla_ksst said...

I live to serve.

(this is actually me, now)

mc kitten said...

lol, I was genuinely thinking 'aww, how sweet' until I reached the last line and realised you didn't find it that way at all!

(((hugs))) hope you feel better soon

Master's piece said...

@nzrubber Yep some days one feels just like that rabbit in the hat

@DM You guys really do get the same play book don't you. Oh we get that you have to deny the existence of the book, but you can tell us... leans in conspiratorially... we're all just friends here flutters eyelashes

@ancilla_ksst Oh you are such an inspiration... wanna be a mentor?

@mc kitten Snack food smells bad when you have a migraine... wrinkles nose in distaste... besides one small slave is not as adult as ancilla_ksst :P

mc kitten said...

Well there are certain things I'd baulk at - I can't stand the smell of doritos, and I'm lactose intolerant so would rather not have anything that would make me sick (if I ingested it) wiped on me.

otherwise it's open napkin season!

ancilla_ksst said...

Sure MP, I will be your mentor even though you have way more experience than me. I'm not one to turn down a challenge and get you to change your ways.

I warn all my mentees (mentos?) that I'm a bad influence and will throw them under the bus at every opportunity. This is especially funny when they are so new they have no idea what "the bus" is. :)

First repeat "I live to serve" until you can do it with a straight face and have gotten the sarcastic edge out of it. This could take a while.

Master's piece said...

@mc kitten Doritos and things of that ilk are just vile :(

@ancilla_ksst Oh we all know that time is no guarantee of experience. Otherwise there wouldn't be so many middle aged people being so stupid... often on a daily basis... on public forums. But one must say that you are very brave deciding to become one small slave's mentor. Can we make it official with the drop down menu on Fet???
Gotta say though that first lesson is a toughie... all these years and one still can't quite do it. Oh the face is straight, but the tone... It leaves a lot to be desired... apparently small shame face

ancilla_ksst said...

Just type/ text it to him. Or leave him a sticky note on his pillow with little hearts all over it. The tone will be whatever he imagines in his head.

(refer to my point about buses)

I will ask Master if I can be your fetlife drop down menu mentor. People will laugh, but I'm all for amusing my friends.

Master's piece said...

Oh what fun claps hands in glee

ancilla_ksst said...

He said sure.

Master's piece said...

Oh goody. Now one small slave can point to you and go, it's all her fault :D

ancilla_ksst said...

And I'm too far away for him to reach. It is win/win.

ancilla_ksst said...

Although.... sometimes there is blowback on these things... when my Master thinks I'm getting other slaves in trouble on purpose sometimes that trouble comes back to me.

So I will only give you GOOD advice. :P