Wayism

Our group is often home to the Wayists. In spite of this we rub along OK because we don't believe our way is necessarily the right way for anybody else. Of course every once in a while we get a Twoo Wayist in our midst. Ironically they are usually what others might view as moderates.

They are the ones who believe that transparency must be a two way street for the relationship to be healthy. Their beliefs often include the notion that the properties emotional wellbeing must be paramount in the owners mind above all else, and that their mental wellbeing must also be protected. It goes without saying of course that the owner is still in charge, but these things are his responsibility and he chooses to do them willingly... or something like that. To be honest one is always so bemused by these assorted assertions that one just can't quite stumble past the hurdle of wondering exactly what the owner is in charge of, but each to their own...

Mostly the problems arise with these moderates out of their insistence their way is the only possible way. After all their position is reasonable, therefore it must be for everyone.... Yeah they bring that special brand of circular logic to all their outings in the group. It always gets ugly... it's bad enough that they are insulting to us, but they have to insult our intelligence too L

Generally most of us look at these people, pat them on the head and go that might be the case in your relationship, yet some of us manage just fine not doing it that way. You see we really don't care how they do things in their relationship. We do care about them tromping in and telling us that ultimately our relationships are abusive by contrast. For some reason they always seem to end there... right before they leave to write journal entries that exhibit more of that spectacular logic, liberally peppered with half truths. OK half is being generous here...

Apart from the fact that we aren't them, don't want to be like them, doubt that their way would work for us...apart from all that... The really irksome part is that nine times out of ten they believe their position is right because somewhere along the line, they had a bad experience with something similar... or something. Every single one of them seems to have had a bad relationship that has left them scarred, some sort of mental disorder that makes them especially vulnerable or emotional issues that are guaranteed to be triggered if their owner, master or sir tried some of that non-consensual shit on them. They just know it and believe it and preach it.

Well here's a heads up people...

There isn't one of us who has got to be an adult that hasn't had some sort of crap happen to us. It's a fact of life. Adversity is what shapes us and tempers us. Now, one does understand that everyone reacts to bad shit in different ways. But for the love of all things sacred would you stop coming into the group and projecting your stuff onto the rest of us. A major difference between us and you seems to be not the nuances of our lives, but that we know projection when we see it. Most of us have enough baggage without you trying to palm your suitcases off on us as well. 

And we reserve the right to reject both you and your luggage.