Saturday, June 16, 2012

Toad kissing

At work one often likens finding the right skin care to toad kissing... if their product doesn't work for their skin, bin it or give it to a friend. Where most go wrong is thinking that if they keep kissing the toad it will turn into a prince. Yeah life doesn't work that way... at all. See Mr. Toad doesn't change and if you are having a bad reaction to him then you need him out of your life... quickly. It doesn't necessarily mean Mr. Toad is bad, just that he is bad for you.

This rule also applies to partners. Time and time again we see women happily kissing the same toad just waiting for him to change. It is a variation of the idea that insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome. Personally one blames too many fairy stories... oh not the original ones which were usually dark and nasty things, but the sanitised Walt Disney versions... the stories with singing teacups and the like. Girls grow up believing in fairy tale weddings and happy endings... they never seem to stop and wonder what happened to Cinderella, stuck in the damp castle with a brood of screaming children. If they did they might not be so quick to close their eyes and pucker up.

Of course where issues seem to arise is when the toad gets released... or hops off of his own accord. Then the troubles begin because sometimes he hops off to be some other woman's prince. That's when the fun starts...
See women have a tendency to think well why couldn't he be like that for me? They never stop and think well he just found his princess. Oh no... 'cos that would be rational and we have already established that isn't what they are at all. Instead they sometimes embark upon a campaign to convince everyone that Mr. Toad is a loathsome creature who should be locked up...

This isn't to say that there aren't some real stinkers out there... had one of those. There are some people who should be locked up... for everyone's protection. But to call every failed prince an abuser and to decry him all over town is a bit much. One failed relationship does not an abuser make. A pattern of failed relationships might point to issues. Again it may simply be that Mr. Toad makes lousy choices too... we are all guilty of having a fallen for a type or two... sometimes repeatedly.  Toads are just as susceptible as the next to committing that folly.

See the thing is that we never really know what happens in people's relationships... particularly if we are only privy to one side of the story. So when Mr. Toad hops off sometimes it pays to remember that he might still be a prince in disguise. And maybe rather than trying to stab him with a pitchfork we should just stand clear...
After all one woman's toad... is another woman's prince.

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