Monday, May 12, 2014

Balls to the wall

This has been the week for CNC debates... and that is a loose descriptive term at best... all over Fet. Some of it has made for interesting reading. If only so one can add names to the list of people to never, ever engage with. Wow! We might be considered the extremists of the BDSM spectrum, but some redefine the meaning of the word extremist and oddly none of them are on the O/p side of the spectrum. Anyway one does digress... as always.

One fascinating point from the opposition has been the idea that force is not necessary in a BDSM relationship. The submissive partner is there due to an overwhelming desire to serve and please. They in turn are there to facilitate that desire and compliment it with their own need to lead. There is no need for the master to enforce his will physically. If there is a problem, it is a failure to communicate and everything can be resolved with conversation.

And it left one thinking, but what if you don't have this overwhelming desire to submit and to please? Now don't get one wrong, making Him happy is certainly a desired thing, but if push comes to shove in life, there are always competing needs. Add to that a singular lack of desire to submit... well you can see why the whole thing left one a little bemused. Not to mention more convinced than ever one would make a lousy submissive.

See what one needs is the assurance that if it is important to Him, he will frog march one to the point, if necessary. Why? Well difficult by inclination and... well... damned difficult by nature. If He wasn't willing to enforce his will, then why the hell is one supposed to bow to his wishes? Don't get one wrong, most things can be resolved by conversation. Physical coercion is simply a tool, not the only tool. But damn it, one needs to know He will back up his position if necessary...

Meh let's put this in the basket marked gratitude... that will make Him happy :)
One small slave is grateful that He is not the sort of man who has this stupid idea that one is here from that imaginary submissive space, where one is always going to be happy to please.
Sighs and they call us delusional


Dubdub said...

It's the affliction of the modern age: uniformity and conformity to uniformity. The latter is often bandied about by hucksters (politicians) as "unity". It's a powerful lie. People kill people for it.

Modern, so-called first world "democracies" all trumpet the uniqueness of the individual, but their "cultures" are invariably the biggest herd following bunch imaginable.

All of this spills out into every area of our lives. Fet is just slightly more 'twisted' about it! Keep that individual perspective!

mc kitten said...

but but but what if you LIKE being forced?!

Ya know, this is why I far prefer identifying as a slave. I'm still his slave whether I'm in the mood or not, whether it's going well or not, whether I'm submitting gracefully or through gritted teeth or not at all.

I felt too much pressure around being labelled as a sub, too much of that expectation that you joyfully submit ALL the time or you're not being a sub. Ack phooey.

Besides, I want to be used and abused and owned.

Ok, it's all a mute point and swings and roundabouts and down to personal definitions, I acknowledged that... But then, that's kinda my point!