Saturday, May 10, 2014

Outside perceptions



Wandering out to the bus stop one spied the little bus friend waiting for the bus. There was the usual squeals of delight, snuggles and catch up before the bus arrived and we scampered down the back of the bus like a couple of naughty school girls. Now conversations with her never go along the lines that you anticipate...
This was a typical opening salvo...

Hope you don't mind me asking this, she said...
Hmmm?
But it is always something of a surprise that He is in charge of the relationship
Hm?
Well He seems so passive compared with you, who always seems so dominant by contrast.

See perceptions are never a reality in many cases. On the face of it one can see how she gets that. She has only a hazy idea of how much this incarnation of oneself is His creation and she has never seen Him in the pursuit of something he actually cares about. And to be honest one suspects that, like a lot of women, she mistakes aggression for dominance. Really one is firmly in the aggressive camp...
He is not.

There is just a whole raft of things that He doesn't care that much about... so he is happy to go with the flow on things like dinner...
Well except when one takes Him to places and he doesn't like the menu... regardless of how attractive one might find it... grrrrr... they had sweet potato on the menu... whines gently
But woe betide one buying ugly shoes... however comfy they may be... and they are... whines some more

The thing is the desire to control things rarely extends past the things He cares about. All the other stuff is like white noise... until it interferes with His interests. Then the eyes snap open and the other Him comes out...
The bossy, intractable, persistent, relentless, sometimes unreasonable, pushy, physical and often calculating one, who isn't afraid to apply pressure until He gets what he wants.  
The one that sleeps behind those bright blue eyes and easy going manner

2 comments:

mc kitten said...

yeah, I get this. I think people have the impression I rule the roost here too, because he's so laid back and considerate - which he is, you know...

Sometimes I wish he was stricter and controlled more and then I wake up and thank my lucky starts he's so laid back!

ancilla_ksst said...

Hmm, I got that comment once too. Here I think I am so sweet and nice.

But I came out as being in a M/s relationship to a long time friend and she said "Huh, I would have thought you'd be the dominant." Turned out she's a Domme, so we were "coming out" to each other at the same time. I kinda figured her though, for not quite vanilla, seeing as how she has had a husband and a very submissive live in boyfriend, for a long time.