Thursday, March 28, 2013

The rabbit's revenge

Easter is upon us and one thought it might be a good moment to look at the star of the show... the chocolate bunny.  Now not being a great chocolate lover one doesn't get too excited about this time of the year and frankly as a former country girl, one firmly believes that the only good rabbit is... well dressed and on the table or turned into something useful... like an Akubra. Needless to say one doesn't find the lure of an Easter bunny quite as irresistible as some.

So one was only mildly interested when He bought home a copy of Women's Health because it proudly claimed to contain "12 ways to burn off that chocolate bunny"... or so the cover promised. The interest in the magazine waned even further as one looked listlessly through pages of skinny models (who frankly looked like they could do some work other than avoiding their dinner plates) and page after page of ads promising to make one younger and firmer and more beautiful... if only one would use their miracle cream, unguent or potion. Sighs there was a time when it used to be a good magazine.

Thumbing through the magazine one finally found the article... Coulon, Crystelle. "Burn Bunny Burn!" Women's Health April 2013: 92-93. It was easy to miss as it was only eight suggestions, of which only two involved chocolate rabbits. Though in fairness there was a full page picture of a rather chunky chocolate bunny exercising on its bike in a gold foil bib and brace outfit. Obviously someone thought it was more appealing than the rest of the article. Frankly that bait and switch approach to journalism is one of the many reasons why that magazine leaves a lot to be desired. Anyway one does digress... as always

The gist of the article was as follows...
To burn off one small Lindt rabbit will require you to do... 60 minutes of running at a moderate to fast pace. Yeah if you are running at that pace then you are not going to be snuffling through tinfoil chasing the rabbit.
One small egg (about 40 gm or 1.4 oz) will need half an hour of tennis... and one assumes they don't mean sitting down watching the game. Shame really, if they could have swung that it might have saved the article
A small (20 gm) egg will require 16 minutes of walking up stairs... preferably holding your water bottle above your head to engage the abdominals. Are they freaking kidding? As a fit person one would be loath to tackle that... how the hell is the average person meant to achieve that as an exercise?

It was a handy how to get rid of the Easter indulgence guide... well we think it was supposed to be helpful. Both of us were a little unsure after reading it. To be honest we found it was more a scary indicator of how useless exercise is as a way of offsetting bad eating habits. And frankly Mr Rabbit has never looked more repellent than when tacked onto that much exercise. Maybe that was what this was all about... payback for all those years of eating rabbits... chocolate or otherwise. That or maybe the author was taking up where Beatrix Potter left off. Either way Mr Rabbit will not be sticking his chocolate nose around our door any time soon J


Damn Dirty Ape said...

Chocolate bunny might go nose deep in your back door without the calories ;)

Master's piece said...

LOL You know one can't help but feel that might be a little... rough :D