Mourning a loss

We have been together about 15 odd years... taking a guess here as one is, as some of you know, somewhat vague about anniversaries and the like. That is a long time to be having sex with the same person. After that amount of time your bodies learn to work together. You know how your partner feels, where they are as a spatial relationship... all sorts of intimate things that make sex work with the charming predictability of familiarity. All of that changes when they lose a lot of weight.

At this point He has lost about 38 kilos (just under 84 pounds) and officially weighs what he did when we met (give or take a couple of kg). Except... that is where the similarity ends as He does not resemble that beamish boy from our past at all. There is more muscle and a lot less fat. Gone is the puppy fat that marked His youth and our beginning. Gone to is the layer of comfortable fat that covered everything, from the tips of his fingers to his toes and marked our middle years together. He has stripped down to a long legged, lean athletic frame, which neither of us suspected was there.

Sitting astride Him there are hip bones ghosting along the bottom of one's thighs and one can feel ribs rubbing along the inside of one's knees. Lying under Him there is nothing between us except air and ribs. During sex He reaches places he didn't before and grinds against things that had more padding once upon a time. That solid weight, that comforting sensation of being pinned to the bed by a familiar body... it's all gone. In fact He feels like a complete stranger in bed.

It is rather disconcerting, made all the more so because He does not seem to be having the same experience at all. Apparently one feels just the same...

Well you have always felt sort of solid and muscled, so there's less of you but... He petered out seeing the look on one's face...

See time together gives you that capacity to read your partners facial expressions... often too late to stop you putting your foot in it, but...

Three fucking dress sizes to feel the same! Grrrr...

All of this loss is of course placed up against the gains. The sleep apnoea has gone along with the hypertension, the diabetes, the snoring and the faint noise that could be heard when He breathed due to a deviated septum. A condition that has ironically seemed to clear, which may be due to running theoretically resulting in reduced inflammatory proteins in the nasal cavity. In bed He has the stamina of a 17 year old...

So really there is only one thing to do...

The best way to get over an old love is to get under someone new J