Fifty shades of trouble

One small slave is a sick as a dog. It's viral in nature; aches, pains in odd places... mostly muscles one didn't know existed... a corking temperature and a whiny disposition. In short... dying... loudly. This is why one is curled up on the couch with a good book. Scratch that, what one suspects is going to be a very bad book.

That's right one has been rewarded with a "Fifty Shades of Grey". A little pre-emptive research seemed like a good idea... before His mother starts asking questions...

Though after walking into the stockade that time she never said a word and it's not like the whack rack is discrete. Maybe the secret of successfully living any shared household is the capacity to studiously ignore each other's "quirks".

Of course He hasn't been able to get past chapter seven. So that means one small slave has been thrown under the bus...

So without further ado one settled into read... and torture return the favour to Him by passing commentary. Well He started it...

A voice pipes up from the study... are you turned on yet?

Hate you so bad. Oh dear...

Laughter erupts from the study

The names... and the main character is supposed to be studying English lit.

I know... more laughter. It's good isn't it? Worthy of being on the NY Times best seller list. Want the other two?

Fuck you!

Oh say it gets better one begs softly

It gets better He deadpans from the study

You're lying aren't you?

You know one has a great love of pulp, but this isn't even that... and it is going to make someone a millionaire... multi if the rumoured movie deal goes through. All one can think is that if you were a struggling author you would just about throw your hands up in despair.

One day some editor is going to be called into account for this book and they are going to confess they didn't actually read it.

He laughed and quipped I just ran it through word and corrected things underlined in red. I didn't worry about the green lines. There were too many of them.

This carried on back and forth for the first seven torturous chapters.

And then something changed...

And one started to see why it is being snapped up and shared at book clubs and rocking up the best seller lists...

Because although the author can't write worth a damn, she can write sex... it is her talent

And the more one read the more one realised His mother was going to be reading this... and hopefully the sex will be graphic enough to make her stop because otherwise we are so busted. Don't get one wrong it is half way through the book and the sex is charmingly vanilla... a first for both of the characters apparently... but it is going to make the slapping sounds that sometimes emanate from this flat a little harder to ignore in future...

Meh the graphic sex might put her off...

We are screwed aren't we?