Saturday, March 8, 2014

Weekly chats

There is this fascinating thread going on Fet at the moment about how to be a good Master. It's like the Ten Commandments... thou shalt not (insert stupid act here)... for Ms. The whole thing is made all the more interesting because it was kicked off by a member who, well not to put a fine point on it, is either the biggest troll or the biggest idiot on earth. Sometimes it is hard to tell them apart. Anyway his personality aside, it was one of the commandments that drew one's interest; the idea of the weekly chat... one without reprisals.

As a person who communicates, a little too well at times and often not in the most respectful tone, one has always had problems wrapping the head around this idea. What are you supposed to do? Save the damn things up? Does the person turn around and say not now; we have a time for this? Say we will discuss this later? 'Cos by then one small slave would either have burst with the strain of keeping it all in or gone on full flight of the dragon shrew from not being addressed. But then one is a now kinda person.

And what is this shit about no reprisals? There are always reprisals. They are called consequences. You put things out into the world, things come back. It's like the law... often Murphy's but... Now, one does get that no one likes the truth, but why would you pick someone who takes reprisals of the other kind? How do you even form a relationship with someone that petty? Or for that matter that stupid?

Groans why does one even find these discussions or for that matter read them?

Not a masochist! Not!


ancilla_ksst said...

I have a hard time wrapping my head around that shit. Fortunately, I feel no need to really try, because that is their issue, not mine.

However I do get a kick out of imaging what their life might be like sometimes:

A non approved chat:

"Master, I really hate the way you make me lick the bathroom floor".

"Oh yeah, well take this you dumb twat!"

Master proceeds to beat slave unmercifully....

"Next time save your opinions for our weekly non reprisal chat, slave".

JustAnotherSub said...

I've seen established vanilla relationships moving toward ttwd use "time out" chats. I don't know if I've seen the weekly model though. It's more when people have been communicating poorly for most of their relationship that it does some good.

The point, I gather, is to create a safe place to talk in the beginning. Then it's to be expanded to become part of how those people interact daily. Anything that remains stagnant is bound to fail, so if couples leave it at weekly chats of course it's going to build resentment.

I'd also take a guess that it's not that the subs are mistreated or dismissed when expressing a viewpoint. It's the fear that they'll be doing submission wrong if they express an opposing idea or concern. Many relationship problems stem from the fear of what may happen and those effects, instead of confronting the issue and dealing with it.

Establishing time to talk is one tool people use to actually confront issues instead of living in fear.

It's not a good long term rule for relationships but I can appreciate it as a stepping stone.

lil said...

LOL. You make me want to go back to Fetlife. It's all I need to gather further proof that he is doing it wrong...

Master's piece said...

Snerk Trust your vision to find a way to include more beatings :D
@lil You need further proof? Dear gods woman you are in a relationship, with another human, that has managed to weather all sorts of real life shit... of course you're doing it wrong. It's the only way to survive
@JustAnotherSub Unfortunately the gentleman in question is espousing it as the only way... which is why it is now up to five odd pages of carnage. Mind you it is entertaining coffee reading, though paragraphs on his part would have been a nice touch. Unfortunately the more his ire rises the less he makes sense, but...