Sunday, February 27, 2011

Where the wild things are

Occasionally you encounter people in power exchanges who are interesting, but you deeply suspect you are never going to understand them. They are so different from yourself and your relationships that you end up with more questions than you do answers. It is not that one thinks they should fit into a mould, as much as you are driven/ compelled to try to understand them on their own terms. The trouble is the gulf between views.

Extremely submissive people are one of those groups. In particular people that are so submissive that almost by default their partners are dominant. We are not talking here about dominant people who deliberately seek out a more submissive mate... though maybe they do on some level. It is more those that as they explain their power structure, the more there seems to be an absence of active domination and more a passive dominance.

To try to explain what one means is complicated... so one will try an example. Today you will do X. Yes master. This response is not because they are obedient, well trained or happy to comply, though they may be all of those things. It is more that any other response just does not occur as being submissive is what they are. They are compelled towards compliance by internal drivers, one struggles to comprehend, to be submissive and agreeable.

Maybe that is the issue... as a person one has no compulsion towards being agreeable. As a person one is anal, aggressive, hostile and prickly... rather like the cat... no wonder we clash. You either stay on top of one small slave or she will stay on top of you... and resent you for it. Not your submission, though it will probably alert all those predatory instincts, as much as there is a deep abiding loathing of all the work that is needed to maintain the power.

And it is work maintain dominance over people like us. It is not that we don’t want to be submissive and to be obedient, but that we will make a break for it every once in a while. Any chink will do... we’ll be there. It’s a bit like herding cats... mean slightly feral ones L


Mockingbird said...

Ooh I like this post and I totally agree. I had the hardest time explaining to someone that I like to be made to submit. That any lapse in their dominance I'll pounce on it!

sweet kk said...

thank you for sharing this post... i think i may fall into this camp as well. it's heartening to know i'm not alone!!