What outer ring of hell is this you may be wondering? Well
ages ago... before all of this stuff with the health went sort of wrong... one
did mention that one would like to run again. Oh not huge distances or
anything, but enough to do the block without dying... or needing to be picked
up by trained professionals bearing oxygen. Anyway that was the dream. Then the
health sort of did a swan dive just in time for the cooler weather that was
needed to make the dream come true... Actually one is still a little
suspicious that this was the body's way of protecting itself from this new
folly but...
So here He is in the middle of the floor announcing a simple
plan to make the dream come true. And He is planning on doing it as well. This
is where this gets interesting. See... there is no nice way to say this...
there probably isn't anyone less inclined towards exercise on the face of the
planet than Him. Most people exercise because somewhere along the line their
bodies reward them... usually in the form of a little exercise high. He doesn't
seem to have any endorphins to do this. No, seriously. We have been together
for nearly 15 years and there is no evidence of their existence.
And He doesn't like pain... in any shape or form. There was
a reason why one small slave got the short straw in this relationship... and it
wasn't just lack of body mass.
Looking at Him... the way you do when you partner of many
years suddenly goes insane before your eyes... one checked for a maniacal glint
of fever in the eyes and finding none one proceeded to ask why? Why would you
want to do this? You don't like pain... or exercise... or getting up in the
morning. OK that last one might have been projection... He is far more likely
to be up while one small slave lays buried beneath the covers but...
It seems He has decided to do something about his failing
health and in true Scorpio form has selected the thing most likely to have the
best possible trade off... providing it doesn't kill him first. All that He
asks is that one looks over the shoulder to make sure He is still following...
not laying on the pavement gasping for medical assistance. Though at this stage
one has to say that there will be a 50-50 chance that He may not be alone in
that state.
Dear gods we must be insane...
Maybe that is why we have stayed together so long... shared
insanity. The difference is that one of us used to be a very good long distance
runner... and you know after all these years one can still remember the pain of
the first week of that. And one was young and fit to begin with...
Help! He's finally snapped and is trying to kill one small
slave...
Redflag redflag redflag redflag redflag redflag redflag
redflag redflag
4 comments:
So he doesn't like your pain? I feel terribly misguided.
Glad to see you're back up and at em.
And I'm sure they'll have plenty of trained professionals with oxygen standing by...
P.S I cannot in good conscience give credence to your red flag:
http://deviantrabbit.blogspot.com/2012/07/well-alive-at-any-rate.html
I think it might actually be purple...And everyone knows purple is a friendly color!
Just tell him that forced exercise is your newest hard limit. You know, just so we can laugh at the results. Beep, beep, watch out for the bus!
You are both bitches... in case no one has told you that today :P
Oh, that is my other name. Besides "slut".
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