Master this!

Every once in a while some fledgling master drops one small slave a line. There is a sort of theme in common with these neophytes; they are all young, scrawny, semi literate, living in the home state and all of them keen to give a girl what she needs... them. In fact just the other day one got an offering from some young thing. It was a scrawled line of text speak that basically could be summed up as do you want to be my slave? Actually that wasn't summing it up... that was the entire message.

And that does bring us to an interesting question. In fact the teenager went on to ask the very same thing on a Fet group later that day. Why aren't slaves interested in me?

Now not being a member of that group it was on the tip of the fingers to reply to his offering via pm, which one is reluctant to do because sometimes engaging with these people is an exercise in masochism, but what the hell, one has a blog. So here we are for the record...

Why you don't get taken up on your offer by one small slave

Your age is not the issue... hell one is as partial to snacks as the next... for that matter He is about eight years younger than oneself. No, the real problem is that... well to put not too fine a point on it... you are too skinny. Personally one prefers a man with a bit of meat on his bones, or muscle... either one works. That extends to woman too. Oh one thinks that tiny elfin women are cute, but one does so prefer a bit more substance in the bed.

Your inability to write a sentence is a problem. It's not that one can't read text; more that one suspects it is indicative of a general communication issue. We have already established that you can't comprehend the written word... otherwise you wouldn't have made this sterling offer to someone whose profile says blissfully happy. Oh and owned... But one does understand that words mean whatever you want them to mean and so one is going to give you the benefit of the doubt.

But while we are on the topic of your missive... yeah women like to feel special. You have to woo them just a little. It doesn't have to be flash, but a mail out to virtually every woman in your state? And one surmises this based on the fact that they have to get to page 32 of all the Queenslanders to find one and that we are not in any shared groups. How else did they even find one's profile?

Next there are the little nitpicky things...

The first question is not do you live anywhere near me, but do you want to be mine?

Then there is the fact that your profile has some of your rules on it including, but not limited to, this little gem...

"You will crawl onto my lap to be punished"

Yeah... you're gonna have to catch one first J