Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Pests and other problems

Today we were expecting the pest inspector... well he's more of a specialist pest inspector as it was time for the annual termite check. Termites are a problem in this area to the extent that we jokingly call this place termite hill. Those little buggers can eat a house out from under/ around you without you knowing until it is too late. So every year a little man comes out equipped with a stick and a meter to tap all the walls and skirting boards.

Now for us this means that, rather like the ex and one small (and at the time not a) slave used to have to de-dyke the house before certain guests arrived, the flat has to be toned down a smidge. That is to say one has to trot around and at least gather up all the assorted sex toys that seem to converge on flat surfaces. Sometime it is things waiting to be photographed, returned to homes after being cleaned and in some cases things that on the "to do" list... 'cos once they've been put in storage it can be years before they see the light of day.  So one laundry basket of toys later... honestly they breed the minute your back is turned... and after covering up the whack rack we were ready.

It was at this moment that Satan's little helper... otherwise known as the postie... turned up with a large box. Apparently it was our anniversary present... and again this proves that word doesn't mean what He thinks it does because nestled in amongst an assortment of things was this...


Yeah for the record one wants to state that their description lies. There is no thud. There is only pain... the bad stinging kind. And it leaves marks... OK it was only colouration, but a mark is a mark. In fact one thinks that He ordered the wrong one by mistake.
Now admittedly it would be hard to take anyone who fronted up wielding one of these very seriously, but yanno it would be a kinder, gentler option. Besides it doesn't need a practise dummy to learn on. Though one did offer Winston's services to that end...


He said no! In fact He expressed shock that one would offer up the bear in that manner.

Bastard!

5 comments:

ancilla_ksst said...

Nice present :). I wouldn't have guessed any thud would come out of that.

ancilla_ksst said...

I think you ought to buy him that puff ball tickle flogger. It's cute. I mean manly.

Kitty - The Submissive Wife said...

OMG - I had forgotten about the whack rack! I loved that post back then and again today. :)

Master's piece said...

@ancilla_ksst Oh He would find a way to make even that puffy thing horrid. He's just as likely to use the other end :(

@Kitty Every home needs extra hanging space... though of late ours is looking a little crowded

ancilla_ksst said...

The other end of his new single tail is fairly thuddy, especially on the bits. Found that out last night. We don't have enough hanging space at all. The closet hooks are already getting crowded and every thing that doesn't hang up is in a drawer.