Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Caring gets sacrificed on the altar of sexy

On the sixteenth day of holidays... sung in a girlish tone... the twoo love aroused me...

We were chatting over a Sumo Salad... you know one still isn't quite sure when He was replaced by a changeling who enjoys their salads, but given that he believes green is Mother Nature's way of warning us that food is not fit to eat, it is the only logical explanation for this fondness for their product... and the conversation had drifted to the topic of button fly jeans. Well more how inconvenient they are when you are a man who needs to pee.

He then launched into this long explanation involving undoing buttons and semi arousal and big penises... Honestly, one might have lost track of the context a little due to the dancing visions those key words produced. Smiling at Him sweetly one pointed out it was the price you pay for looking sexy. With sexy goes a certain level of discomfort...
You know in hindsight one must claim a certain culpability for what transpired next, but in one's defence the mind was elsewhere...
So we can expect to see you in high heels with your mini can we He said, batting those blue eyes innocently

Those high heels are something of a death trap on the highly polished faux marble floors of this shopping centre... we had nipped out for two t-shirts that had been outgrown since they were bought three weeks ago, which is why we were nibbling on salads... one pointed out patiently. Now if you were the kind of person who walked next to their partner, ready to offer assistance should they stumble and fall, it would be a different story. In fact if one was the kind of person to cling to their partner's arm as we walked along it would be a different story as well. But we are not that couple. You stalk off on those long legs like a Great Dane to one's Chihuahua. A Chihuahua who is loaded up with your shopping bags more often than not and left to scamper along at best possible speed.

Looking mildly dissatisfied with the answer He sat there mulling over ideas. He is nothing if not solutions focused. Smiling sweetly He said well we could attach a rope from the collar to the Njoy and make a handle. Then I could keep a firm grasp on you...
Glaring at Him over a forkful of salad one pointed out that his idea failed several key points of the ethic of care. Not to mention that it was hardly a sexy solution.
Oh I don't know He said. I think it will look quite sexy from where I'll be...
Sighs honestly He is impossible to deal with some days L

2 comments:

ancilla_ksst said...

Throwing yourself under the bus these days? I guess I have been remiss in helping you out that way. You know a piercing makes a good leash attachment point too.

A little ring somewhere....

Master's piece said...

Pleas would you and nzrubber just stop helping. Between the two of you the net is a very unsafe place for one small slave :P