Saturday, October 12, 2013

Times change

There was a time when two people got married and made a commitment 'til death us do part. They were considered committed to an idea, honourable and ready to be married. It didn't mean they were actually ready for the reality of it all and gods know there were some who should never have been encouraged to walk down the aisle together. And yes some did have affairs and children with other people and all the messy stuff that humans do.

Yet nevertheless there they were, married to each other for better or worse. There was a belief that forever meant if not just that then there was going to be a stab in that direction... together. There were even a few who were happy and learnt to muddle through it together. Like so many things practice makes perfect.

Now in a BDSM relationship when people talk about forever, no leaving, feet first baby they are called delusional, dangerous and worse, threatened with the eternal conversation about limb chopping kittehs... or is that masters? After a while that conversation becomes this slightly psychedelic swirl of blood and screams with this maniacal cackle in the background... or was that a Pink Floyd number? But one does digress... as usual.

The thing is as a passing observation one has to wonder...
Isn't it a strange thing that the people who believe in forever are usually in long term relationships, while those who call them delusional usually aren't? 


ancilla_ksst said...

My grandparents are coming up on 70 years together. My other set of grandparents were together just about 60 years before they died. My parents are celebrating 43 ish years of marriage (bad daughter for not knowing their anniversary, but I know it was pre-me). I don't get this "nothing is forever" camp. At all.

Ok, it is not technically forever since no one lives for ever, but it's not crazy to expect to get old together. Not in my world.

c said...

Yeah, I've been thinking about that too. But on the other hand, a hundred years or so ago, a lot of people still got through two or three spouses if they got to old age themselves since people died sooner... But yeah, why is it such an impossible thought that some people actually have decided to stay together "for better and for worse"?

Around the time me and Mistress got married we made an additional promise. Our wedding vows were: "I want to love you and be faithful to you until death do us part", which isn't quite the same as "I'm going to" (we didn't write them ourselves, this is the official vows of the Church of Sweden).

But anyway, we also promised that there will be no breaking up or moving out without at least six month of couples counselling. And then, later on, we got a kid together. How's that for permanent? We wouldn't be able to get rid of each other even if we wanted to...