Thursday

The day started innocuously enough. Wake up, drink mouse, catch up on Fet, curl up at the door to wait for Him to come home and cook breakfast. Nice normal domestic stuff. Well that was how the day began... from there on in it sort of went off the straight and narrow.

It started getting more interesting when He enquired how's the arse? With a scowl one informed Him it had shut tighter than a fish's arsehole. Smirking He said so sex is out of the question? Now the question wasn't the issue so much as the hand waving pantomime He was doing at the time. Glaring at Him one retorted that waving his fist around like that constituted as threatening behaviour.

Mind you it wasn't as threatening as when He cornered one in the shower. Lubed up with soap He thrust into the poor little orifice in a series of quick, deep jabs. Held in place all one could do was whimper and breathe until He finally came. It was a hell of an orgasm judging by the hard rhythmic pumping and His final deep groan of release. In fact after one thanked him politely and cleaned him off He was still hard. It's the sounds of whimpering that does it one suspects... though He denies it.

So slightly traumatised, one scampered off to catch the bus for work. That was when disaster struck. In a heartbeat one tripped and fell, skinning a knee and twisting the other ankle badly enough to be grateful for the lift a couple of sparkies gave one to the corner. The errant ankle is now in a compression bandage awaiting inspection by the doctor, but judging by the way one can't actually rotate the foot without ending up in a screaming heap one rather suspects it is sprained.

He of course, being the soul of sympathy, turned around and said to be grateful that you tripped rather than had a fall. Making a time honoured gesture in His direction one contemplated at what age you have to be to no longer trip. Is there a cut off age at which you start to have falls? It was in the middle of this contemplation and confusion that the postie turned up bearing a package of Biofreeze.

It was only a couple of days late... unlike the condoms which we are still waiting on L

Right at this moment though one is eyeing off the tube of gel in a completely non-sexual manner... which is not what it was sent for. So not being one to look a gift horse in the mouth, it is going to put it to good use. See the universe does provide you with just what you need. The secret is to recognise it J