Saturday, January 28, 2012

If the collar doesn't fit...

As one has mentioned before the trouble with exercise is that it makes you change shape. The trouble with the current programme is that it is heavy on shoulder work... it was done that way because they needed to get strong enough to provide support during abdominal work. Unfortunately because of the PCOS that little bit of extra male hormone in the body means that one can bulk up... a rare thing for a girl... and very quickly too.

None of this was a problem when one was going to the gym four days a week. The programme was designed to be heavy lifting one day, strip down programme the next. It was gruelling, but it prevented the muscles from growing and getting bulky. Now because of some seasonal variations to work shifts, one can only get in three times and it has ended up not back to back. The end result is growth... and a corking rate of it too. In the past few weeks since going back one is starting to get shoulders a first XV player would be proud of...

There is just one tiny little problem. With those shoulders comes the neck to join it all up and the collar is trying to choke one out in the night. It wraps its little metal hands around the throat and constricts it with all its might. Every time one moves or turns the head... there it is. And you know something? It doesn't make one think of Him at all... well not nice thoughts at any rate.

So one dutifully submitted the complaints to be informed that as it was one's own doing, it was up to one to pay for the new collar...
First off let one just say that this is the reason one doesn't get expensive collars... this will be the third one to date. Yeah not quite that romantic image of collared for life is it? Of course not being one to miss a chink, the fence did need to be tested a little...
So if one buys it then it won't be your collar and if that is the case... then one could elect to not wear it surely?
No, it would be mine, but you would have paid for it. And you will be wearing it.
Hmm... not quite the answer one was going for...

Discussing this with Him this evening one suggested going back to the gym on Tuesday/ Wednesday and Friday. That way it should strip down some of this muscle... 'cos the collar is driving one nuts... and to be honest one really doesn't want to play rugby.
Turning He said, but I was hoping that you were going to get enough upper body strength that you could take up pole dancing. I thought the pole could go there... indicating near the enormous windows that make the place like a goldfish bowl, hence blinds permanently down... and I could sit here while you entertain me.

That's it, starting next week... Tuesday/Wednesday it is. Honestly if He can't make sensible decisions then...

2 comments:

slaveindenial said...

*Giggles*

The things you get yourself into, piece!

Vixen B-Ab said...

for some reason they enjoy thinking that it's tight enough to constantly remind you. Can't imagine why. Since my job change and my no longer throwing around an 80 lb ladder, I am losing the muscle mass and the collar fits much better. Better being subjective of course as now he thinks it's too big :(