Saturday, September 29, 2012

Ever present

There are people in the BDSM community that believe that the 24/7 crowd are myths. We are the fairies and the elves of the BDSM world. They seem to come to this conclusion because to them BDSM and power exchanges are for the duration of a scene. Subsequently because life is not one long scene, we don't exist.

Well they are right about one thing; we don't scene 24/7 at all. As readers of this blog can attest a lot of time is devoted to extremely unsexy stuff... all of it work related in some way. What doesn't change though is who has the power. Oh one might take a pass or two at the fence... often with remarkable enthusiasm at times... but ultimately only one of us is really in charge. That never changes... it is a constant, relentless thing.

It is one of the many reasons that the term power exchange is a bit useless as a descriptor. There is no passing back and forth like the word exchange would imply. And shoving the word total in front of the term power exchange doesn't make it any more useful. Round here power is more of a one way street... often terminating in one small slave's arse. It is strange how round here all paths lead to that destination... one way or the other L

Meh BDSM terminology... it hardly clarifies things at all. No wonder we so often end up at complete odds with each other. Mind you it might help if the other side would stop saying that we don't exist. Unlike our fae cousins, we don't die whenever they say we aren't real. If anything we just get more annoying J

9 comments:

ancilla_ksst said...

LOL. Clap your hands if you believe in O/p.

lil said...

I always liked the term "Power exchange."
Now I see that is only because it allowed me to live in a happy delusion.
You ruined it.

ancilla_ksst said...

Power exchange works for me as a term, because I'm giving him power over me, and in exchange he is giving me leadership/dominance.

Dirty Blog said...

The way you describe it makes more sense to me personally

lil said...

Ha--ancilla_ksst fixed it for me. No longer ruined!

Kitty - The Submissive Wife said...

Once there, I can imagine it would be fantastic. Getting there seems to be part of the problem though.

And like dirty blog says, you always sound so rational. (Which is one reason I love your blog!) And then anything but rational happens when I try it.

#kittysdoingitwrong

Fondles said...

i loved the post and i loved the comments. all of them.

and i never understood "power exchange" either. it doesn't seem like any power gets exchanged at all. he gets power over me. period.

and the 24/7 verses scene thing is strange, so what, in the bedroom i'm all whimpering and submissive then we step out and i start hollering at him to fix things and get his own coffee? Hardly.

you'll know he's been here by the empty coffee mug that's on the table. but that's ok, cos the not-just-in-the-scene sub in me is quite happy to make the coffee and cart the empty mug away to be washed.

hey you're right, we're almost like faeries. and elves. *mutter*

Master's piece said...

@Fondles Yeah bedroom only was never going to work for us... we have sex in every room of the house. It was going to confuse the boundaries very quickly :D

@Kitty Personally one thinks that kittysdoingitwrong should be your catchphrase. How else are you going to figure this stuff out? Let's be honest, most of us learn far more from our mistakes than anything else :)

ancilla_ksst said...

We did try that "only in the bedroom" thing and it just made things confused. For one, because does that mean I get to say no to sex in the kitchen? Um, no. Does that mean I get to say no to washing dishes. Um, no. So pretty quickly we gave that up in favor of all-the-time-all-the-places.