The clean up

Shaving is one of those little jobs that are done on a daily basis and rather than risk losing something near and dear... those little snick, snick sound effects of the other day were a little too close to the heart... one uses a Seiko Cleancut. He bought it for one many years ago and it hasn't missed a beat since. Apparently the new ones are rechargeable, but this one isn't and goes for weeks on its batteries. Anyway it is one of the few domestic chores He likes to settle in to watch.

Actually that's not quite true... He loves to watch one do domestic things... preferably naked or in that French maids outfit... but one could never work out why this little job seemed to attract him quite so much. As soon as He hears the whir of the shaver he appears like an apparition to settle in to watch. This time He came with his camera...

Edited highlights

Otherwise known as some things you should try before you die...

We came home, heated up some pizza, made a Martini...

Actually that wasn't quite what happened. For the sake of accuracy it was made a Vodkatini...

At the moment one is experimenting with Crystal Head Vodka. Not of any desire for purity, more that He fancied the bottle. So one abandoned the beloved Grey Goose, with its slight homage to gin in the delicate underpinning flavours, in favour of... well no flavour at all. Meh He might get a matching bottle... the lack of flavour grows on you rather like a white on white painting. There is complexity in the nuances of nothing. But one digresses...

We settled in to watch the latest episode of "Community". If you haven't seen it you should. Like all good comedy it misses the mark occasionally... and is hanging on by its fingernails because of it... but when it hits, it is brilliant. Tonight was a parody of "Law and Order"... S3E17 (Basic Lupine Urology) and they nailed it. Now just as one loves a good detective novel so one loves a good crime show. Oh not because of its intelligence, more because that the endless drone of male voices puts one to sleep better than any pill.

Law and Order is the new "Perry Mason"... a show that one could never stay awake long enough to see the end of a single episode of. Don't get one wrong... the precursor to Law and Order was the gritty and much loved "Homicide: Life on the Street". And the early L&O showed promise... before they slipped into the land of formulaic pap. Anyway back to this... though do catch the episode of "Community" if you can...

It was in the middle of sipping around the olives of the second Vodkatini that He announced that he had needs. Oh not the sexual kind... the kind that involved one getting dressed and going around the corner for snacks. Which brings us to this... the point of all of this...

Off one trotted into the dark and stormy night to get Him the object of his lust... chocolate.

And here is the dilemma...

See He has diabetes and hypertension...

Sending your slave out for chocolate is in some ways the equivalent of loading a bullet into a gun, spinning the chamber and pulling the... you are getting the idea L 

Pointing this out to Him one suggested that what he did was wrong. Actually one suggested that getting Him the chocolate was wrong. It is enabling in the worst possible way. If He was to die... hey He may hold the degree in drama, but one has a small talent in that direction too... small shameface

Being practical in nature... it's the new control game... in the right hands... one suggested this shouldn't happen again. And He sort of admitted it wasn't right...

That was when one pounced and requested veto powers...

And He said no L

According to Him one would use them...

Umm... hells yeah... that is the point

What He did give one was the right to suggest that it might be a bad idea... Sort of the equivalency of darling do you think that is a good idea?

FFS where is the power in that?

Sighs another failed coup d'état

He sucks the joy out of life...

L

Other assorted freedoms

Today dawned with yet another election, this one for the local council. By some quirk of malevolent fate one had dropped off that mailing list again, so nothing arrived to announce the upcoming attraction. Actually as we don't watch the news or read the local paper we had only a hazy idea when it was due. Oh we vowed to go and vote early, but life being what it is that idea disappeared where all good ideas do.

These circumstances were how one came to realise on Friday that one had no way of getting to the polling booths and even less ideas about who the candidates were... not that there is much difference between them. If they aren't slightly corrupt to begin with, they are probably going to end up that way. Being of cynical persuasion one finds it very hard to believe that no one is taking advantage of all that foreknowledge about things like infrastructure going in... like proposed rail routes... to cash in on some little land deal. But one digresses...

See when they organise these events there is little thought about the people who are going to be using them. They open at 8.00am and close at 6.00pm... rendering them nearly inoperable to those dependant upon public transport and working. Not that any of the polling booths are on a public transport route to that work. Oh that's a lie... there was one. All one small slave had to do was brave 6 lanes of roadway and hope the bus saw one in the night... 'cos there was no way to actually do the voting before work... there simply wasn't enough time.

So after organising two separate lifts and warning work one might be a little late, one stood in the queue waiting with the other equally disgruntled and damp... oh yes to add insult to injury it was raining... citizens. Well most of us were... there was one young gentleman who just looked ridiculously happy. He turned and gave one a beam that nearly split his face in half... honestly it was the brightest thing one saw all day. In fact when it was his turn to register he literally ran to the desk, with a wonderful loose, loping style that made one more than a little envious to watch.

As one watched him clutch his ballot papers and rush to the booth it made one realise something. There are parts of the world where people are literally dying to vote. And here one is whining about having to do that very thing. It kind of put it all into perspective...

Spoilers

Look what arrived in the mail...

The fucking thing is huge L

The homecoming

Kneeling naked at the backdoor waiting for Him to come home, one noticed there was a nasty cold wind whistling in. The weather has been strange the last week. It was so hot at the beginning we needed air-con and fans. Now it is turning brass monkeys. A fact one pointed out to Him while slipping off his shoes...

I was surprised to see you naked He replied.

Umm... you said last year that one wasn't allowed to keep the warm clothes.

Did I? Oh that's right so I did, He said in that unperturbed voice.

You mean one could have been here all snugly?

I was in error. We'll keep the no clothes rule. Of course if you would like to apply nipple clamps and paddle yourself... It will keep you nice and warm...

Aiming a stinging blow at one's chilled arse He went past.

Why is it the only time a Scorpio says "I was wrong" (even then He couldn't quite say the word) is when it's going to do no good for anyone else? L

Tails of the unexpected

 

Over the years we have had quite a few toys from the Fun Factory. They always have interesting shapes and textures, not to mention that they use high grade silicones to make them from. So when He saw they had made some anal beads he thought they might be interesting. And of course they were also in one small slave's favourite colour... purple L

The implement:

These anal beads called Bendybeads have an insertable length of about 19cm (7.5"). The balls range from about 2cm (just under 7/8") to 3.5cm 1.5" in diameter. There is a cute little ring pull that looks like a tail... actually you can wag them as they are being inserted... no you cannot see the video of it.

The pros:

• Silicone
• Easy to remove
• Easy to clean
• Not so large they are intimidating
• Flexible and soft 

The cons:

• Not as easy to insert by yourself as you would think due to that flexible nature 

It started off with one small slave struggling to get them in unaided. Fortunately He was on hand to help get the last three in. Honestly one is no slouch on the flexible stakes, but theirs was more than one could wrangle alone. Once in they were comfortable and gave a delicious feeling of fullness... everywhere.

With trying out that fullness n mind He stepped up to the plate. Well one was conveniently propped up on the knees, wet cunt exposed and He was there... taking pictures... seemed a shame to waste it really. That fullness proved to be His downfall as he came, muttering about things being a little too tight. Whispers is it wrong to gloat when the one in charge gets caught like that? 'Cos the vagina smirked...

Now the whole idea of anal balls is that you pull them out during the orgasm. The idea is that the muscles contract around the balls increasing the feeling. That is the premise at any rate. Of course the problem as far as one's arse was concerned was they got smaller as they were coming out. It couldn't help but feel gypped. Their smooth, flexible nature meant that they slid out with the greatest of ease, leaving one to think well that was fun... going in.

So we were both left feeling a little unfulfilled. It's strange how sex can work like that sometimes. There you both are, having had an orgasm and still left feeling like you might have missed out on something... bigger. All in all it is a nice anal toy and a good one for beginners, but as far as enhancing an orgasm... one would have to say He does a much better job J

In today's highlights...

One small slave has been elevated from gaming widow to gaming concubine...

It seems that a country girl's sharp eye for game comes in useful. So while one might not have a pillow, one is allowed on the bed next to Him to spot for deer and rabbits. Now if He would just hit them rather than some random passerby, one can't help but think that the game would progress more smoothly. Or at least without Him being "Wanted" quite so many times...

Other than that one arose to find that the dreaded improvements to Blogger have been instigated. Rather like lil one was less than thrilled. Oh the layout is fine for posting, even found the dashboard and the rest of you... hell one even managed to find the way back to oneself... eventually.

But why is it that sites always improve the things that weren't actually broken in favour of ignoring the hundreds of little glitches that drive the user mad? Oh right, they are made by geeks who have years of pent up hostility towards their fellow man... This is like the revenge of the nerds isn't it?

Quick tools that disappear for weeks at a time

Stats that disappear for months at a time...

These are the things that drive one small slave quietly insane...

And to add insult to injury one was a fucking geek as a teenager... well still is if we are going to be honest... 

The bastards are punishing one of their own.

RIP

We met nearly fourteen years ago... and one remembers it clearer than yesterday. You were part of a display so bright and shiny that the light hurt one's eyes. And yet you sat there, self contained and efficient in spite of the lights blazing on your form. It was in that moment that one felt a pang of lust so strong it made one breathless and in that split second, there was such a fierce urge to possess you that one all but lunged across the aisle to your side. In fact one stood in front of you for several minutes trying to resist the urge to reach out and run a fingertip over you, before succumbing to your charms.

You were with one through two major house renovations and an assortment of odd jobs and you were a faithful companion. You survived being moved, dropped and left on the shelf when one was busy playing with others. In spite of the dalliances one always came back to you. With your rapid changeable nature who wouldn't? Besides with your small light form you could get into places that others couldn't.

And tonight you broke one small slave's heart when you were plugged in and that faint whiff of electrical death tainted the air...

Yes there will be others; bigger, stronger, faster and a damned sight heavier. Like the one pulled out to do the job at hand as it became obvious that, in spite of your valiant efforts, you were no longer up to the job. Even as you struggled to get the last screw in with your dying breath... one held you knowing you would never work again

Farewell little Black and Decker Firestorm... you were the best drill a girl could have

Z is for...

So how is the new razor He enquired? Now before you get all interested it is an ordinary razor we are talking about... well we were...

It's lousy...

See what happened was they have finally discontinued the twin blades one has happily used for the last twenty years. See that is what being faithful buys you... heartache in the future... but one digresses

The last one was full metal...

So what's this one made out of He asked?

Plastic coloured to look like metal.

The scungy bastards He exclaimed.

Precisely! It feels too light in the hand.

So why did you get that one?

They are all made of plastic. The only difference was that this was the only one that would hold the least amount of blades. Even so one has gone from two blades to three. And the legs have a five o'clock shadow and it is only next morning. There was a reason why one has resisted moving into this century L

Now, one should mention that as one was having this little whinge one was shaving another part of the anatomy... with legs spread akimbo... otherwise this will make no sense whatsoever...

Well we could always get you a real razor He said, making little Z for Zoro mimes as he spoke.

Straight razors are banned in this country... and one is starting to see why.

Ah, but I happen to know where to get one He said, looking smug... and still doing his little Zoro impersonation.

OK that's it one said, slamming the legs shut... that was the quota for intimidation used for the day...

I was only trying to be helpful He said, sounding wounded.

Yeah He says that, but he was making little snick, snick sound effects...

See this is the abuse one lives with... daily

Life can be...

When we first met He was such a beamish boy... full of the brashness of youth and the belief that the pen was mightier than the sword. He wrote poetry... yeah living with one small slave soon killed that desire. See most poetry writers are driven by depression, the need to express what it pent up within... It's very hard to do that when you are in the clutches of a cougar set to drain your essences dry. Hey it was before we became this... and He was happy so don't judge J

He always meant to get back to it...

And one always used to say the urge to write is a compulsion, it scratches and itches inside until it is released...

Personally one never had any desire to write... at all. To be honest one is far more oral in inclination. So it is always something of a surprise that one finds oneself day after day blogging. It started as something for Him to read... something to make him smile. A way to give Him insight to the quirks that lurk beneath... like all good self auditors left to one's own devices conversations would look rather like childhood letters home.

Thank you for your letter, doing fine, love X

Honestly pretty much everything else is so unimportant it just doesn't get a mention...

And then it became slightly addictive...

It was something of a surprise

Rather like the way people turned up to read along and snicker with Him...

Actually that was a bit of a shock 'cos one rarely reads blogs. There are a select few... but generally one has difficulty getting past the sensation that it is a bit like peeking in windows. You get these little snapshots of other peoples' lives. You just don't know what happens when they pass out of view... the not knowing drives one insane... it's worse than the perving sensation.

It never occurred to one small slave that you would have no such qualms... and some of you are such mean girls.

So this is a small thank you to those of you, from all around the globe, who find your way here sometimes day after day to read and snicker, and sometimes even leave comments...

Sighs not that one or two of you should be encouraged... it never leads to any good for one small slave L

More from the mailbag

One of the readers had an interesting question about anal sex and rather than struggle with the vagaries of the phone, one thought it would be easier to put it here. Besides some of it might be of use to others.

Now the reader is a lucky man; his partner likes anal sex. The trouble is that life gets in the way and anal sex can be a little patchy, making it hard to keep things regular and to keep the anal sex up, so that it isn't like starting from scratch.

So his question was twofold; how to keep the interest up and how to keep things relaxed... other than butt plugs J

First let one just say that if one could answer that one would probably become a guru... so instead one is going to jot down some random thoughts on the matter.

What works for us is the word no was pretty much removed from our sex life... and damned if that doesn't make things a lot easier. Of course we also removed some of that pesky consent stuff as well. Oh and use plugs to keep things open...

But we also made some choices in that we do more anal than any other type of sex. So for us sex is set up from the perspective of anal... in essence we changed the focus of our sex life... if that makes sense? It was because we both prefer it, but also it keeps one small slave mindful that orgasms are a privilege that He allows, rather than a natural result of sex.

Now having said all of that... one is acutely aware that those solutions are not for everyone... not everyone can just shove their partner over a bench and take what they want... probably a shame, but all relationships are different. And bearing in mind that one has no idea of the specifics of the reader's dynamic one has had some ideas.

• You might not be in a power exchange, but that doesn't mean you can't make some rules for a night... silly things like you can't have an orgasm from (insert sex act of choice here) unless there is something in your arse.
• While one understands that butt plugs are not for everyone there is no reason why you couldn't buy something like the Jewelled/ Rosebud butt plug. They are pretty enough to appeal to most women... who can resist a bright shiny object? Rather than using them for long term wear why not use them before you have anal sex... actually why not insert them before ordinary sex? It could be inserted while you are doing the dishes or having a shower or whatever your evening routine might be.
• Which brings us to another point... don't overlook that shower. It is a wonderful time to reconnect with a partner. It is warm, there is soothing water, plenty of soap... take it as a chance to relax them while feeling them up. It is also a wonderful opportunity to wash everything and help loosen things up a little first.

Though one would like to point out that His version of I'm bored now (five minutes into that process) let's move straight to the anal, doesn't work with many women... well none one has ever met at any rate L

All joking apart though it is probably worth pointing out that He always makes one feel like a sexual person... we might be best friends, but we are the kind of friends with benefits. See women are strange creatures in that sex makes us feel sexy and sexy makes us sexual which leads to more sex. Where men seem to go wrong is that they think that sex leads to more sex... they miss that crucial step in between... or more importantly don't seem to cash in on it as ably as they could. Most men think of an orgasm as the destination and forget that the journey is most of the fun.

See rather than kissing, cuddling and feeling their partner up and wandering off to do something else they push the attack. Sometimes playing tease is the best aphrodisiac to a woman... they are predators given half a chance J Mostly though it is a great way to keep sex at the forefront of the brain rather than on the back burner of life. You might not have time to do anything about it now, but there is no reason why you can't plant a seed for later. 

Charming!

They boarded the bus, a tiny tribe of pyjamaed children... it was 8.30pm... accompanied by two equally young mothers. The brother and sister hopped up on the large single seat at the front... bickering as they clambered up.

Surreptitious poking and whispers ensued...

In the end he lost... and retaliated by turning around to his mother and singing out in that clear piping tone of a four year old...

Jess called me a cunt

Time keeps on slipping

Scampering round like a mad thing one wondered how it is that some Thursday morning can go to hell in a hand basket so fast. There are a few chores that need to be done, there is plenty of time and yet... one still ends up racing the little numbers blinking the minutes away.

Of course in the middle of this He turns around, replete with breakfast and says so, anal sex? Blinking at Him one stood there, wondering what it would be like to come home eat breakfast and demand request sex like that. To be honest one suspects that it might be nice...

Err... seriously running out of time here... haven't even had a shower yet...

You know sometimes one suspects the mouth is not attached to the brain at all...

That was how one ended up mashed against the tiles... which are getting progressively colder with every passing week might one add.

To add insult to injury He made one tell him how much one enjoyed the sensation of him filling one's arse. In fact He made one beg for it and... as he drove in for the final thrust... say thank you Master

Leaving one to run around grabbing work clothes as He sauntered off to bed and his Xbox...

And apologise profusely to His mother, who was driving one to work, for being so tardy.

Run rabbit

The last two days have been exhausting... run here, run there, run back again the next day. It all started with a simple thing; pick up some blackout curtains that had been ordered for the bedroom. Of course we stopped for what turned out to be an excellent lunch and a visit to what is probably the most eclectic boutique in Brisbane on the hunt for a black bag... preferably a non boring one. One small slave lucked out on that quest, but He did slope off to the games store conveniently located across from it.

After lots of hemming and hawing He purchased a game to run on the PC. He has deliberately avoided buying a gaming machine because... well as the Skyrim incident showed he has a problem stopping for life or sex or... actually anything that isn't the game. But as we needed to stay at home and not spend for a few weeks and one is in possession of book two of "The Kingkiller Chronicle" ... well, it seemed like a good time to unleash the inner gamer.

Of course life being unrepentant in her sense of humour the game refused to play. Actually it refused to load first off and then refused to play. Unfortunately it is a known glitch with that particular game, so back to the shop we went today. That was how we came home bearing the Star Wars limited edition Xbox 360... oh and of course the game in that format.

Really, it made perfect sense at the time...

Of course it was shortly after that we found out the real reason why you take your non-gaming slave with you. Someone has to organise the boot of the car to fit all this stuff...

Of course it was also later that we found out why you actually have a slave, as we had to rearrange the entire bedroom to fit the little beast...

Our trunk of toys is now in the lounge for the moment, we need a shelf under the projector screen for the Kinect Sensor... which is why the box had to be moved as He is too tall for the sensor to read him if he is too close.

All of this means a road trip to IKEA (they do a particularly nice invisible mounted shelf) and the local hardware store for castors for the box so it can be put back in the bedroom and be movable (without slave power)... the damn thing weighs a ton.

So that is next weekend taken care of...

No doubt while He is busy, one small slave will be screwing things other than him

Relief

Head space

In a blog post Kitty asked if calling your Other a name got you in the mindset. Now at the time of replying to her one was pre-mouse. We are not talking about a rational mind. Then it started to get a little long so one decided to reply here instead.

Round here name calling is a little complicated. Calling him Master doesn't make one feel more submissive. Now that may be in part that we have done this for a while and like all magic it wears off. It may be that because we do this as a 24/7 thing that there aren't roles that we slip into... we simply are who we are. Of course it may even be that as one is hardly submissive on a good day, that one simply misses out on all the gooey, gushy stuff that one reads about.

Now having said all of that it would be fair to say that calling him Master is probably more a sign that one has acceded to his authority. It can also occur after He has done some nasty little act that has screwed one to the bed... literally and/ or figuratively. It's a bit like crying uncle J The only other time one calls Him that is when feeling particularly soft and non-combative... OK usually after sex... but one is digressing from this...

It doesn't change the fact that He likes to be called Master. It does give Him a bit of a thrill. Now that may be a manifestation of the fact He watched too many episodes of "I Dream of Jeannie" as a child. According to Him though, he believes that the use of language reinforces the roles. Rather like the way the British tried to remove native languages when they colonised a place by making English the dominant language. It wasn't just that they were too lazy to learn the language (though it was probably in there as well).

Mind you it is worth noting that He also likes signs and symbols... which is why one is stuck in that infernal collar L

Creative idea #7

You know what might be fun He said, walking into the room

No, what?

That new MEO plug is a Newton's Cradle

Yes?

Well it works with a back and forth motion

Yes

Well if you were on your knees with a leash on and I had a riding crop in the other hand, I could tug you back and then spank you...

He stood there for a few seconds miming the act in graphic detail... as one is always saying, that drama degree is never wasted.

Actually we could set up the magic wand and run you over that, back and forth, back and forth... more mime

With that Mr. Creative wandered back out the room...

Leaving one small slave to wonder what it is about BDSM acts that always leads to making things more complicated than they need to be. Seriously, that plug would work just as well with a little old fashioned missionary sex, hell for that matter it would work doggy style as well. But oh no... one is going to be on all fours, yanked, slapped and...

Hmmm...

His idea might work...

Surprise

Well there are some interesting things of their way He announced, walking into the lounge.

Are there?

Yes some stuff from MEO...

Like what?

I left it up for you to see...

What that bright red thing?

Yes

What size is that?

I have no idea He replied

Glancing up from the book one suddenly started to pay attention...

But MEO makes huge toys

Oh and the equine speculum  was on special at JT's so I ordered one of those too He added, almost as an afterthought.

He sat there watching one's face

You know you could have just bought an Easter egg like a normal person. Or was this an early birthday present?

Well you always said you weren't that into birthdays and preferred un-birthdays He said, in that infuriating rational voice.

Yes, but one still likes presents not un-presents

L

Safewords

The topic of safewords came up as we lay in bed... the strangest of things do sometimes. See one small slave doesn't have a safeword... well that's not quite true. There is one, but He won't say what it is... which kinda makes using it a little complicated. Anyway we were lying there bemoaning the lack of a safeword... well one of us was at any rate... and He turned around and said you don't need one.

Why not?

Well you wouldn't use it responsibly He explained in a patient, slightly bored tone of voice.

Rolling over to peer at Him one said how can you say that?

He said I just know it... you would use it.

Well of course one is going to use it. That is the point of it. Besides if one didn't try it out how would one know it was going to work?

Exactly and I would be in the middle of doing something that I was really enjoying and then you would use it because you weren't enjoying it.

You know much though one hates to admit it He does have a point... there is a certain logic to His explanation L

Report card

Well He said, sitting on the couch smirking, am I going to get a better report written about me today?

Looking at Him with a raised eyebrow one retorted your prowess didn't get critiqued yesterday. It was one small slave's arse that did... and frankly it got a barely satisfactory. Remember you could barely get in?

Oh I could have got in. You just wouldn't have been able to do anything else for a few days if I had, He replied blithely.

Well did it feel more accommodating this morning?

It felt exactly the same. The only difference was that you weren't complaining, He replied.

So was that a pass or a fail? It's a little hard to tell with that kind of feedback L

Finally

Today we had sex for the first time in a while. Well that's not true... He has been having sex, but one has been too sick to be anything other than... a bystander? No, that implies standing there looking gormless and one was in there too. A victim of His carnal desires? Yeah that kinda makes one sound... well victimish and really one wasn't. A recipient? Yeah that sounds a little closer to the truth... though not quite accurate. Anyway it will do for now... if someone can think of a better description let one know... it's going to drive one nuts for the rest of the day L

Anyway back to sex...

We went to bed for a little masturbation... to get back in the swing of things so to speak. It ended up as a little anal. Now it was at one's suggestion.

It was a bad idea for the record.

It hurt like hell and He didn't even get the whole way in.

Sighs this is how it feels for some of you... no wonder you are less than thrilled about anal.

See anal sex is one of those things you need to do on a regular basis... and wearing the plugs help too. What a lot of people don't seem to realise is that when you stop doing these things, even for a week, the arse bounces back to its original tightness. And while you aren't exactly back at square one, it sure can feel like it...

Owies

Scampers off to sterilize the Njoy.

Communication

They say in these relationships that communication is key. This often leads to some misconceptions that both parties are going to be engaged in deep and meaningful explorations of each other's feelings. Like so many things of course nothing could be further from the truth. In fact what most should be aiming for is clear communication... it is going to be used far more often in day to day life. Why, you may be wondering? Well it's the expectations surrounding the simple things that often cause the most trouble...

Is there any soft drink in the fridge?

Yes

Would you get it for me?

Is that like a question or one of those things that are really an order couched as a question? It's a little hard to tell.

I want you to want to get it for me

Ribald laughter

And failing that I want you to get it for me anyway

L

Easter Monday

Today was that most special of days... sales. So needing some new bedding off we scampered for Yum Cha followed by shopping. He is one of those strange creatures quite happy to go shopping... even for bed linen. He happily mooches around touching things and looking in all the corners.

We spent a happy couple of hours meandering amongst sheets and covers and cushions... there were some fabulous cushions. None of them practical... which one prefers... what is the point of a cushion you can't shove somewhere to provide support for something... like a head for a nap... but wonderful textures and colours and designs nevertheless.

He found a great storage box in the children's section... red with white stars on top... he is such a Captain America fan boy... that had to follow us home. Meanwhile one scampered around the children's section... why do they get all the fun stuff? There were these fabulous stuffed owls and apples that were lamps. It seems so unfair...

And of course there was the main reason why we were there. Practical things like mattress protectors and a new doona for Him. Of course what also followed us were some fabulous lime green sheets and a great lime green and purple doona cover. Oh and a hot fuchsia sheet and a couple of bright triangle pillow covers for one small slave. We have separate bedding... He doesn't share.

As we were paying for this massive pile... bedding takes up a huge amount of space and isn't light en masse... He turned and gave one the car keys saying take this to the car. Out of the corner of one's eye... excellent peripheral vision... one could see all these women's heads swivel round. There was this collective swing in His direction... as he was given that stare of disapproval. A thing, might one add, that was completely wasted as He didn't notice. Sighs it is strange how a generation of women brought up with slogans like "women can do anything" still have all these other expectations running along in there... it must make life difficult.

So scampering home with our bounty we did practical things like rotating the mattress... no easy feat as it is latex and weighs about 80kg... needless to say it isn't  a job we tackle too often. Then we loaded it up with all the lovely bright... we love high thread count, but will trade down a little for strong colours... we will never be beige people... bedding. It clashes divinely with the red walls.

In fact it looked so inviting one was forced to road test it with a nap... a process that took a little longer than anticipated. In fact He came in to wake one up otherwise sleeping tonight would be impossible. It seemed He was a little miffed... that tendency to nap across the bed leaves no room at the inn so to speak. Bad slave.... looks contrite... well tries to at any rate.

In fact no sooner had one small slave been evacuated from the bed than He stepped in. And that was how He was found. Rolled up in His new doona... sound asleep at 7pm.

Leaving one wide awake...

And nothing on TV

L

Mind you He did wake up a few hours later which left one covered in cum.

Leaving one to shower at 1am 'cos there was no way one was going to sleep in all that pristine linen covered in cum

L

Egg tray

On the mend

It is the Saturday between all the lovely days off and things are looking up. The sky is blue as far as the eye can see. The shoulder and neck pains have gone, the pains in the feet have gone... though none of these bode well for the future... and best of all...

Coffee tastes good again.

Now all one has to do is get through a day of work. The day we try to unload an astronomical amount of chocolate onto the public. Good chocolate, indifferent chocolate, chocolate rabbits, chocolate eggs, chocolate...

Some of you are starting to salivate aren't you?

Well let one tell you a little secret...

By the end of the day even the most hardcore chocoholic is sick of chocolate and whiny customers going is this all there is? There's nothing out back?

No there isn't. 

Why do you leave it so late? Oh you think that if you buy them early then you will have to store them and keep them cool. So it is better to leave it until closer to the time?

Well here's another little secret...

Shopping centres turn off their air-con at night. That's right. The minute you leave and the doors close, off they go. Have you any idea how hot a shopping centre is at night round here?

And there the bunnies sit...

Sweating in their tinfoil.

Bon appétit

J

Threatening behaviour

It's Good Friday and fortunately one has the day off... still sick...

And not happy because, as one whinged to Him, coffee still tastes like shit... it even smells bad

It always smells bad He replied

No... Coffee is the nectar of the gods. Admittedly some god shat in it this morning but...

You could use this opportunity to free yourself of your addiction He said

Wash your mouth out. There is plenty of evidence to say that a cup of coffee a day is beneficial.

As long as you are a slave to your addictions you can never truly be a slave to me He retorted. It will always come between us...

OK one admits there has been the odd morning that one has slid out of bed in search of a hit rather than staying curled up near His naked form... you know ready in case he should have needs

And one admits to being slightly surly before that hit...

And there might have been the odd time one has been less than enthusiastic about some plan of His due to being pre-mouse...

And one might have whimpered morning mouse a few more times than one has actually called His name out loud...

Hmmmm... He might have a point

But OMG He has the coffee in his sights... curls around morning mouse protectively...

Ewww... maybe not. 

It smells vile L

Where are we now

Well one small slave is home from work. That bloody virus has come for a back swing and added a couple of new wrinkles... neither of them attractive. So here one is, on what is one of the busiest days of Easter trading... home. With a bad case of the guilts and a tummy that rattles with assorted medications.

The stupid thing is that none of them seem to alleviate the pain in the shoulders and neck... they are bad enough that one can barely lift the arms above the head.

This sucks!!!!

To add insult to injury one is too sick to even want sex...

OMG death is imminent and doctor was too chicken shit to say

And the list of forbidden food leaves very little in the way of recompense...

This sucks!!!

Of course He still has sex...

It sort of started as affection and went... a little off course

But one small slave was too sick to enjoy it

This sucks!!

Oh and coffee tastes bad... horrible in fact

This sucks worse than ever!

Boundary failures

A lot of people embarking on BDSM relationships start off in the bedroom only. In some ways we did too. Well we were a bit more organic and of course with us the lines got blurred very fast. As some of you may have gathered by now we don't have a lot of sex in the bedroom... well we do, but it only accounts for some of it. What started as sex became can you get me a drink very fast... well the chances were that we were in the kitchen already. Sometimes pressed up against the fridge itself... see one of the great joys of no children is that you can do this sort of stuff J

Now our Tuesday night vanillas seem to have no such blurring. As far as one can make out from our many chats they seem to have spheres of influence. Usually things that are important to them. The bedroom is his domain. And they have more sex than any couple one has ever met. Hell they even put us to shame.

It is interesting to note that they have been together a long time... longer than us. Maybe the secret to a long term relationship is sex... lots and lots of it... and someone needs to be dedicated to instigating it on a regular basis otherwise sex is one of those things that gets put on the back burner very quickly... too tired, too busy, too stressed, not in the mood...

Anyway back to this...

In spite of all of our discussions about how their relationship functions... we do a lot of chatting about their relationship because their relationship is fascinating... on the face of it she rules the roost, but when you scratch around there are odd little things that crop up... it is still something of a mystery how it actually works. Part of the trouble one has is trying to work out how you can have a relationship with all these lines in the sand. That's your sphere of influence, this is mine... It's hard to understand because as a person one would just have to coast over their boundaries... to slip a toe in their space. It would be too deliciously tempting for words.

Before you could say wink they would be flat on their back handcuffed to the railing of the bed... while one ruffled through all their stuff just for fun.

Meh maybe there is a reason why one chose to enter a relationship with someone who had no concept of boundaries at all... well other peoples at any rate J

Limits...

His hand snaked out, as we were watching TV, to harass a nipple. Moving them bodily to safety one explained that after last night they didn't trust Him to respect their limits.

He replied I'm just moving their limits

Um... think that kinda defies the whole idea of limits

Well you are always saying that they can't be trusted He replied

Er.... if they are that unstable then you shouldn't be playing with them

Oh I think I should, He said as he pounced on them

You know one reads about these sorts of negotiations on the net and they don't end up going like this at all... why does it go so wrong?

Early one morning...

It was very early in the morning... about 2am... when one crawled to bed for the second or third time. That corking fever etcetera last week turned into the worst sinus in the world. A week and a pharmacopoeia of drugs later we seem to have found a winner... except for when He has the fan on. Then the bloody nose just blocks up turning one small slave into that attractive creature known as a mouth breather... and then the post nasal drip causes a choking sensation just as one starts to drift off L

Anyway as one slid once more into bed He surfaced long enough to ask are you OK?

Yes, just going to turn the fan off though

He reached out and grabbed one around the waist heaving one across the bed to collide with his naked form. Pulling one against His shoulder his hand reached down to torture a nipple while his free hand pushed the Njoy further into one's arse. Pull, push, pull, push... the man has an uncanny natural rhythm at times. Shifting slightly He threw one long leg over and forced one's thighs apart, imprisoning the right leg and leaving one open and exposed. The free hand roamed from the plug to the clitoris and He started to stroke in slow circular movements as one lay there trapped.

Groaning one tried to escape. His body clamped hold tighter and he growled where are you going?

Well away... that was obvious surely... one has been down this road before. You see He does this stuff in his sleep and just as it starts to feel good, he rolls over taking all the covers with him. Leaving one naked, panting, aroused and rapidly cooling... it is not a happy ending at all L

Why, are you awake enough to do this, one enquired tartly

Let's find out

And with that He started to do very mean things to that nipple...

Oww, Master that hurts...

Breathe through the pain was the reply

Umm... that really freaking hurts

It won't stop you coming though will it?

Well no, it didn't... but it still hurt

In fact it was still aching when one climbed onto His hard on to show gratitude for the orgasm. It was still throbbing as we rode to another orgasm... well for one of us. The damn thing was twinging as one rolled off to find a window of opportunity and slipped through it to sleep... for a whole four odd hours.

Unfortunately His window slammed shut leaving him wide awake at 3am... which is when he gave up and got up.

Our bed is like a revolving door... and not in the good way L

The event

A while back a certain someone organised an event. An event might one add that the organiser seemed strangely absent from... glares at a certain someone. It was an event that one had hoped would come to pass, as it did for some lucky readers, quietly and without being marked in any way.

It seems round here that luck was in some corner peeping out between her fingers, going I can't see you because as He left for work last night, there was a parting shot of we are going to have to do that pic for tomorrow when I get home.

Fuckety, fuck, fuck... He remembered L

Why does He remember this kind of shit and doesn't remember to clean a bench after making a snack? Why this? Why?

So as one knelt at the back door awaiting his arrival home this morning one had time to reflect on the injustice of life and owners in general. In fact as one knelt there wriggling to get comfortable, it would be fair to say that one wasn't looking forward to seeing Him at all... something of a change might one add.

Smiling He came through the door with his customary good morning slave greeting and as one knelt at his feet removing his shoes, one was sorely tempted to tie his shoelaces together and scamper off out the door. To be honest it was the thought of coming home later that put one off. There is nowhere to run to... a state that reeks of poor management on one small slave's part L

Off we set for the bedroom... well it was more that one was herded there to be honest... and onto the bed one hopped. Admittedly it was a slow hop... in fact it might have been mistaken for a crawl by the untrained eye. It was all to no avail because as one assumed the position His hand descended with an almighty cracking force.

And there it was...

A perfect hand print... etched into the skin in a glowing red

And for the record it hurt like a bitch...

Though it passed quite quickly

In fact as one hopped off the bed... the descent is always easier... or so they say... one thought that wasn't too bad after all. Kind of quick and painless.

So there He was taking happy snaps and as one lay there the colour developed further and so did the burn. It felt like someone had set the skin on fire...

It was a fire that was fanned by work trousers rubbing on the skin as we scampered out the door for breakfast.

And as one sat in the car the body started to do very strange things with the sensation... it did its special brand of magic and became strangely aroused.

A state that was not aided by the rubbing as one ran around at work... and was positively enhanced by a very slow day... with lots of time for the mind to drift off to more interesting places...

In fact for a while there the only solace one had was the knowledge that it hurt His hand as well... beams... and he doesn't like pain at all J