Z is for...

So how is the new razor He enquired? Now before you get all interested it is an ordinary razor we are talking about... well we were...

It's lousy...

See what happened was they have finally discontinued the twin blades one has happily used for the last twenty years. See that is what being faithful buys you... heartache in the future... but one digresses

The last one was full metal...

So what's this one made out of He asked?

Plastic coloured to look like metal.

The scungy bastards He exclaimed.

Precisely! It feels too light in the hand.

So why did you get that one?

They are all made of plastic. The only difference was that this was the only one that would hold the least amount of blades. Even so one has gone from two blades to three. And the legs have a five o'clock shadow and it is only next morning. There was a reason why one has resisted moving into this century L

Now, one should mention that as one was having this little whinge one was shaving another part of the anatomy... with legs spread akimbo... otherwise this will make no sense whatsoever...

Well we could always get you a real razor He said, making little Z for Zoro mimes as he spoke.

Straight razors are banned in this country... and one is starting to see why.

Ah, but I happen to know where to get one He said, looking smug... and still doing his little Zoro impersonation.

OK that's it one said, slamming the legs shut... that was the quota for intimidation used for the day...

I was only trying to be helpful He said, sounding wounded.

Yeah He says that, but he was making little snick, snick sound effects...

See this is the abuse one lives with... daily