Saturday, February 11, 2012

The reality

All over the place you find people wittering on about power exchanges. Hell one does a fair bit of it here too. The thing is though that reality is often far different from the theoretical debates. Reality is also far less glamorous than people imagine too... quelle surprise

We went out last night to RPG night... we're on holidays so to make our Tuesday night vanillas happy we switched nights. Normally because we work end weeks the only time we can make it is that Tuesday night and they work and have kids, so it is a huge concession on their part to take time out of their hectic schedule to make it possible. Anyway we rocked up for an evening of "Dread"... except one small slave had forgotten an important detail. Well more didn't realise the implications of it until it was too late. You see they play Skyrim too...

The first hour and a half was taken up with Him and him, with the odd comment by her, discussing the finer details of why resorting to killing your companions is often a necessary survival strategy. Well that was the opening gambit... after that one sort of zoned out with a polite (yeah the one that looks like a small, savage dog barring its teeth) smile plastered on one's face. At the end of the thing she turned around and said you are very understanding about Him playing so obsessively. You know just occasionally you get glimmerings of how your friends really don't understand the power structures of your relationship at all. Understanding... seriously? For that matter she doesn't quite understand one either J

See in this power exchange one gets to express things like Skyrim is colonising your life... one doesn't get to nag Him into giving it up. So you can imagine one's delight when at dinner time He promptly shut off the programme and joined one for dinner and a little light entertainment...
The delight ended when He took over the whole couch, leaving one to stand up and drink the cup of tea one had just vacated the couch to make, before one drifted off to do something else. Not only because there was nowhere to sit, but because He was also drifting off... to sleep... at 8.30 in the evening.

Which is why one is sitting here writing about the reality of power exchanges in a 24/7 relationship. They don't look like the debates at all and there is precious little in the way of kneeling and gifts of submission. More often than not it is about sucking it up and dragging on the big girl panties, and acknowledging that just because you envisioned the evening being spent a certain way, doesn't mean that's what is going to happen. Not the one in charge, remember?

And so one is going to bed... to wake up with these very childish feelings of resentment and disappointment tucked firmly where they belong... in the big girl panties... for tomorrow is another day. There is no good reason why these feelings should be allowed to cloud that one J

4 comments:

Ms D said...

I agree that it ain't glamorous and I'm all in favour of pulling up one's big girl panties, but...

There has to be an upside that makes the hard stuff like this worthwhile and I wonder what it is for you.

In my experience, love doesn't conquer all.

lil said...

Figuratively sucking it up...I'm still working on that one.
I don't want big girl panties anymore! Okay, whine over lol.

Vixen B-Ab said...

for some reason it never works like that here. The big girl panties don't have pockets for one thing...

Master's piece said...

@Ms D Well let's see... He's a gaming geek, this is what they do given half a chance and the right game, and this is how he has decided to spend his holiday. To be honest it is rare He does this because well his antisocial personality doesn't run as deep as one small slaves. There is a reason one has never embraced gaming :D
Now as to what one gets out of this... well not a heck of a lot at the moment, though it has given one a chance to get on top of some of those chores that have been put off :)
The thing is though this is what a couple of weeks out of 14 plus years? On the scale of things it is a spit in the bucket. The length of the relationship becomes the framework that a lot of stuff is judged by... it changes things. To be honest although one is doing gaming widow status updates, mostly one looks at this more in terms of it's nice to see Him enjoy something so much.