Safewording and limits and responsibility

On almost any day on Fet you can find someone blithering on about the importance of safewords and how everyone has limits. Over the years one has come to have distinct pangs of regret that one is not allowed to join in these debates 'cos they do look like fun. Everyone gets so impassioned about them and one side or the other always resorts to denigrating someone, name calling, aspersion casting or outright flaming. Whispers He is a mean, mean man.

For some reason it usually seems to be the affirmative side that breaks into this behaviour first. Not sure why that is, but one deeply suspects it is because they always seem to believe that right is on their side. It's a bit like knowing God is on your side. Once you know that, you are cleared for bad behaviour. It's like a free pass from any responsibility other than making the other side see the error of their ways.

Now coming from a place where those words have little meaning and only a hazy understanding of how exactly they are going to help you in a real life, death threatening or impending kitteh amputation situation, one always comes away from those debates with nothing more than a better understanding of how the crusades occurred. This morning though one does have a better understanding of why safewords and limits are important and why one really, really needs them...

After the shoe incident of yesterday the toes are still in pain. Actually they are refusing to cooperate in the walking process without curling up in protest. Obviously the wine was doing a better job of anesthetising them than one realised. But that is not what this is about...

No, the trouble is that the shoes are still in the cupboard...

And the toes are seeing them as a clear and present danger...

He still sees them as hot.

Leaving one to wonder if they can be declared a hard limit 'cos the toes are going to safeword right out of them, given the first opportunity.