An insanity plea

One of the things we joke about on the board is the complete lack of self preservation that we exhibit in our relationships. Personally one seems to have a little more than some... sighs but even that fails one at times.  His Christmas present this year is a case in point. Most people spend a lot of time choosing gifts for their loved ones, and seem to spend an enormous amount of emotional energy agonising over whether they have made the right choice.

Our approach is a little more cold blooded. Sometimes we see things when we are out shopping with each other, one of us goes as far as compiling a little list (guess who), and other times He comes across things while surfing the net. Whichever route we go down the end result is that we end up with gifts we like, want or fancied madly but didn’t want to spend that kind of money on for ourselves. In short there is no sense of dread come Christmas day... well not normally.

Anyway this year (just gone) when He sings out from the office that He has found something for Christmas one trotted in without a qualm. Sighs you would think one would have learnt by now. Now it is rather expensive He warns, but it is on sale. Peering at the screen one said and the American dollar is low... well if that is what you want order it. That right there is one small slave taking leave of her senses.

See there is a reason we don’t do all the fetish gear in this place. It is not just the complete lack of time to pull on all that kit, but the simple fact that no one in their right mind wants to wear leather in this climate. It is heavy, hot and the stuff has to be worn in to get it to relax... which brings us neatly back to the first two problems. All one can say in self defence was that although it was ridiculously wet, the weather had been relatively cool and you sort of forget what summer means here.

Yesterday, as the temperature soared and one was about to hit the shower, the postal van pulled up and tooted loudly. As one was alone in the house it left one no choice but to throw a towel round the body and scamper out to the gate to sign for the package. The postie was in the mood to chat, so one shifted from one foot to the other on the scorching hot concrete, as she took her time organising her electronic equipment for one small, hot and frankly impatient slave to sign. Sadists come in all shapes and occupations L

So what was in the box you are starting to wonder?

Here we are people; proof that one has lost all sense of self preservation. We had to put it on to check that it fitted and even with the bedroom air-con on full bore, one can say that one was begging for it to be removed in a matter of minutes. A plea that fell on deaf ears as He enjoyed His unrestricted access to torture and tease, rather than adjusting the straps like He was supposed to. For the record no you can’t get out of the damn thing and yes you are utterly powerless to stop the perpetrator. What the hell was one thinking?