Sunday, January 2, 2011

The slippery slope

Sexuality can be a slippery thing... well in the right hands at any rate. Most models are a continuum with gay at one end and straight at the other. The belief is that we slip along in there somewhere. Of course some of us slip along a little more easily than others. To be honest it always seemed silly to say no to 50% of potential sexual partners because they were the wrong gender.

This is probably why one has lived with an assortment of genders over the years. Historically though the long term relationships have been with women. Of course when it comes to sex things aren’t so cut and dried. One can say with hand on heart when it comes to sex, one is completely omnivorous with a weakness for inappropriate partners.

See with the perversity of a woman the kind of people one likes to have sex with, are not the kind of people one likes outside of the bed. They are inclined to have high levels of sexual aggression which often translates outside of the bedroom and makes them unpleasant people. The kind of people who walk in a room and upset someone. Usually without trying very hard at all.

So in choosing Him one made a major detour on many levels. When we met He was a baby of 26; sensitive, articulate, passionate, fiercely bright and touchingly naive. On the other hand one was 33 and had lived hard and fast with a tendency towards self destruction. The sexual chemistry was there though, even though we were both with other people.

We liked each other, became friends and eventually realised that we couldn’t stay as we were because we had settled... something neither of were really capable of doing. It was bloody and brutal, but that is a story for another time...

The two of us getting together was equally bloody in some ways. It was like the clash of the Titans, but through a warped mirror. Our time with other people had given us very clear ideas of where we had gone wrong. Although we walked into the relationship having done a lot of the work while we were friends, there was more to come.

We flensed each other, peeling back layers of stuff we didn’t even know we had. The honesty was brutal and we were utterly uncompromising. In the process we hurt each other and ourselves, and degrees high in interpersonal skills gave us the tools to do it with. All through this process we knew each other was the best choice we had ever made, and that there was no going back to who we had been.

1 comment:

MsSparkles said...

I like this post :)