Friday, March 11, 2011

Binary states

Why obey or leave wouldn’t work for us

Ultimately the biggest problem one has always seen with an “obey or leave” dynamic is that it is a binary state... an either or option. It hangs there over the relationship rather like the Sword of Damocles. Failure on the slave’s part will result in the demise of the relationship. It puts an awful lot of onus on the slave... and it means the slave can effectively terminate the relationship... with one simple act... disobedience.

Now, one can see the appeal of such an arrangement. It means that the owner does not become a slave to the enslavement process. And for a slave it provides the security of knowing that the buck stops with them. It is like an honour system in many ways. You make a commitment and you keep it.

The trouble with all of this, as one sees it, is that if for some reason the shit hits the fan... there isn’t a lot of wriggle room because ultimately the slave has to make an either or choice. They obey or leave... and often choices aren’t that simple. Mainly one suspects because honourable people are honourable across the spectrum... not just to one person alone. Somewhere along the line things are going to have to be prioritised... and someone has to lose.

In all of this the other problem one has with “obey or leave” is that it just pushes all the wrong buttons. When confronted with an ultimatum one will walk. Even if it means surgically removing a body part to do it. There is a long history of severed hearts (usually theirs) to bear witness to that fact.

Personally... if it works for the people concerned more power to you... one will stick to the “can’t leave” spectrum. It might not get you perfect obedience, it might get bloody, sometimes one might have the odd suicidal moment of “make me” and you might have to up your game occasionally. But dammit you have a lot more possibilities. Besides... flutters eyelashes... it is never dull J

1 comment:

Claire said...

I like this post a lot, MP.

Ms D