Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Substitute

Out grocery shopping the other day one was happily engaged in apple selection when one glanced up to see Him fossicking in vegetables. It gave one an uneasy pause. He looked at one across the bins and noticing one had assumed a pose that probably resembled a prairie dog, a smirk flitted across his face. None of which allayed the sense of unease that was emanating from a certain part of the anatomy.

Scampering to join Him the heart sank when the worst fears were confirmed. He was handling cucumbers... and not in same way a cook does. Finally He selected one and popped it in the shopping trolley. It is amazing, but when one goes looking for a decent sized cucumber there is never one to be found. Unfortunately He didn’t seem to have encountered that problem at all... in fact the damned thing looked like it had been pumped with growth hormones L
Now you are probably wondering what this has to do with the knickers shot aren’t you. Well for the odd ghoul and ghouleh (yes they are gender specific) amongst you, it’s your substitute. Unfortunately when we hopped into bed... one of us with more trepidation that the other... we realised He was actually shattered and at that moment one’s blood pressure decided to take a nose dive. The end result was the two of us laying there making vague commitments to next week.

 Wonder if He would like to curl up in the car while one does the grocery shopping for the week... and more importantly... does anyone have a recipe that needs an enormous cucumber?

6 comments:

Dina said...

Oh, just make a spiffy salad with tomatoes, edible weeds and purple onions--and be done with it. The faster, the safer for your bum. ;)

littlemonkey said...

A Rather Odd Ghouleh here...

Lovely pic...delightful knickers...lickable belly

Master's piece said...

Hah... only a sadist would suggest a nice fibrous salad as a "safer" option.

Dina said...

Bah! It's not like I told you to lather it up with mayo. :p

justlurking said...

Been lurking for a while enjoying your blog, now that you mention it though, you can make a great little appetiser by cutting a cucumber down into half inch coins, scooping out some of the seeds to make a little cup and filling it with diced filet mignon tossed in hoisin with a little lime juice and zest, topped with julienned scallions and just a dot of sriacha chili sauce. My old chef calls it Thai Beef Cup. Sorry for necroposting, but a cook's mind never shuts off totally. Also, may save your ass or other orifaces someday...

justlurking said...

Been lurking for a while enjoying your blog, now that you mention it though, you can make a great little appetiser by cutting a cucumber down into half inch coins, scooping out some of the seeds to make a little cup and filling it with diced filet mignon tossed in hoisin with a little lime juice and zest, topped with julienned scallions and just a dot of sriacha chili sauce. My old chef calls it Thai Beef Cup. Sorry for necroposting, but a cook's mind never shuts off totally. Also, may save your ass or other orifaces someday...