Saturday, December 4, 2010


When we started out we were sort of raspberry ripple, though it waxed and waned depending on how much life was impinging on us. Given a choice between bent sex and no sex, we would choose sex however we could get it. We then became an M/s couple, one of those strange freaky 24/7 crowd. For us it was easier than switching roles depending on what room we were in. Besides He discovered an enjoyment in all types of service outside of the bedroom. It’s nice having someone to take off your boots, fetch you a drink or make you the snack that you want.  Well one assumes that it is...

We joined in the online community as a way of finding guidance and for a while it was lovely... like minded people who spoke a shared language. The trouble is that we are a tiny minority in the BDSM scene and slowly we were overrun by people just like us. And we became the mean elitists who insisted that they weren’t. In the end the sheer overwhelming numbers won out and we withdrew to an assortment of private boards, finally ending up on Fet.

Many of us reformed under the O/p banner as it was the only way we could delineate ourselves from what, to us, had become a melange of styles that bore few similarities to how we conducted our relationships, thereby rendering conversations meaningless.  We became the home of the absolutists and the wayists. Often the only similarity between us is a commitment to be ourselves, but we rub along because we are marginalised. Usually by the very people who claim to be working to gain public acceptance for us all.

Now don’t get one wrong. Some of the organisations do an excellent job in raising public awareness, but their views on SSC, RACK and consent will never mesh with the views of the pedants who make up our numbers. Mind you we will happily debate what sane is until the cows come home. As a group we are unlikely to go scampering around in public wearing an assortment of fetish gear... at our age it is a kindness to the onlooker. Not to mention some of that gear takes forever to get on and it usually floats in the high 80’s (degrees Fahrenheit (32C for the rest of the civilised world)) here in summer.

No, we will stay in our rabbit holes and only peek out occasionally in an electronic medium. While this could be viewed as a form of cowardice, the real issue for many of us is that we are cynical. There is probably not one of us that have any desire to be the sacrificial offering on the altar of public acceptance.  Besides our only common ground would be mind your own business and stay out of our homes... a platform that has failed miserably for millions all across the globe.

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