Monday, December 6, 2010

Beautiful one day

The day is miserable, grey, wet and warm. The weather makes you feel bleh at best and slightly depressed and grumpy... actually it makes you feel a whole lot of that. It is the sort of day that makes you want to eat junk food, stay in bed and nap amongst the crumbs. Well that last bit is not true because like all twoo princesses, one can feel the tiniest speck of a crumb and drives one up the wall. This is a shame ‘cos one does love to snack in bed and snooze... preferably without a flurry of decrumbing.

Of course being a woman of action we are not going to go that route. Oh no, we are going to be brave and give into those dormant masochistic instincts, and oddly enough for a person with an intimate relationship with pain one is not particularly masochistic. It is time to gird the metaphoric loins and experience the shopping centres as a consumer rather than a worker. Yes it is time, having put it off to the last minute, to go Christmas shopping.

So there we are with a mercifully short list of people, His family and a secret Santa for work, trawling around the shops trying hard to crank up any level of care above “we don’t give an obese rodent’s bottom”. As we wander along, with one small slave in His wake carrying the bags, one points out some great shorts covered in skulls saying aren’t you glad that one doesn’t shop for you. He turns around and says actually they’re not bad. Colour one surprised because in all the time we have been together, He has always hated ones taste in clothing... actually ones ex when she was alive was allowed to buy Him clothes... He liked her taste.

Good heavens, does this mean ones taste has finally started to align with your will after thirteen years one enquired sweetly. He looks at one speculatively and says it may be more a training issue. We could fit you up with an electric device, take you out shopping and make you chose clothes for me. Every time you get it wrong bzzzt. Glaring at Him balefully one reached out to fondle some rather brightly coloured sports shoes. Bzzzt, bzzzt sounded in the background. Yeah one is going to enjoy this game as much as Vlad's Castle one suspects.


Dina said...

You do realize that you've walked into this one all on your own, yes?

Master's piece said...

LOL You do understand as a friend that is hardly supportive... right?

Dina said...

Yes, and...?