Monday, December 27, 2010

He did a bad, bad thing

Physiological responses are strange things and often the best ideas go sideways. He likes to fondle body parts unexpectedly and one often responds poorly to this. Having breasts and nipples played with, out of a sexual context, sets the teeth on edge rather like nails on a blackboard. Which is a strange response in someone whose nipples and vagina are so intimately intertwined. After some persistence He has got one  to the stage of being able to lay there for a few minutes before screaming, other times He takes a perverse pleasure in telling one to lay there to see how long it takes before one starts screaming, but other times (particularly if one is tired) the response is far more aggressive.

That is to say ahem one is inclined to just lash out physically and just hit the offending hand. This is better than hitting Him, which one would have done a few years ago. Nods oh yes there has been progress... He got rid of that annoying tendency by returning it all tenfold. There is no hitting, pinching or slapping allowed in this house unless He is the one doing it.

Anyway He decided to take advantage of the recent incarceration to use the body against itself in the form of a bit of aversion therapy. He figured with a little persistence the one would get to the stage of just laying there and taking it because the coughing that started when you moved was so bad, you would do almost anything to avoid it. Oh poor simple fool He knew not how contrary a body could be. The body had a much better idea and it plays to win.

Now, the minute the hand makes an appearance near the nipple the body starts to cough. Even if one had no conscious desire to do so, it manages a performance that should net it an award. Of course life being what it is this is an unfortunate bit of timing. You see while one is far from well yet, the body is starting to get better and the mind is starting to turn to more... romantic things. Yes that is right people, the libido is returning.

Of course there is not enough air supply or lung capacity (they still hurt like a bitch when you take a deep breath) for an orgasm, and there is this unfortunate little fear response that makes life complicated... but one is willing to see if this can be overcome with some positive stimulus. All in the name of science of course :)


KellyRed said...

I'm glad you're feeling better, piece.

I do wonder how Masterly types would classify something like this? as an "oops"? an "aught oh"? as an "oh shit"? Do the Masterful types even admit to miscalculation? or was it somehow your fault? I'm sorry it was you as the focus of this experiment, but the post itself made me laugh.

Master's piece said...

To be honest one suspects He finds the whole thing too entertaining to be anything other than funny :(