Friday, December 10, 2010


There is always stuff passing around the net about the dangers of isolation. How it is a tool for the devious and the manipulative, and that being cut off from family is a red flag and the slippery slope to Stockholm syndrome.  To be honest one remains unconvinced by the arguments. The realities are far more complicated.

In the beginning of falling down the rabbit hole one was isolated and it was bliss. You see not everyone has a great family, for some of us if we never saw them again it would be too soon. Some of us are naturally reclusive and find people and their endless capacity for drama, while often entertaining at the time, just makes us feel tired on a deep level. As a geek with hobbies, it was the best time of one’s life in some ways.

The house was spotless which made the anal retentive living inside so happy she hummed. There was time to do shit for oneself like gardening, exercising, quilting and later (as we stretched out a bit) being on the net, and most of all it gave one the clarity to focus on Him. It wasn’t quite Bento Boxes for lunch, but damn it was nice to not be tired all the time and to find joy in making Him happy, rather than feeling pressed for time. See some of us like our own company way too much.

To the extent that in some ways one doesn’t really understand peoples need for friends or why they are considered so important. Yes it is nice to go out and meet someone for coffee occasionally, but somewhere built into that is a raft of expectations for things one isn’t capable of doing to the level that most people find necessary. All the talk about their relationships, which they always seem dissatisfied with on some level, is just bewildering. The advantage of net buddies is that you can reach out and touch them, make them laugh and get pissed off occasionally, and they tend not to care so much if in the middle of a conversation you say gotta go He wants something.

Having said all that, one can understand why isolation makes some so uneasy. One of the reasons He thought it was necessary for one to go out to work, was that some of the critical skills needed for living in the outside world were diminishing; being tolerant of others was one of them. There is an inherent danger in making someone completely dependent on you for everything. Not only is it a huge responsibility should anything ever happen to you, but you become responsible for providing all the other persons world views. You literally become the portal to the outside that all things flow through.

Now if you are a person who has a particular belief system, the chances are your property will too.  This is fine, until they come into contact with the outside world and those views are challenged. Then all sorts of merry hell will ensue because the only response that will be open to you, as you attempt to restore order, will be to clamp down all the harder as you reassert control. Again if that is your thing more power to you... just don’t be too surprised if people tend to look at it and go no thank you. That is after all the joy of having choice.


xantu said...

I work, I see my family but there is this disconnect, this sense that I just don't live the same kind of life. I can't really talk about the reality of my life with coworkers and family. I still feel isolated a lot of the time.

Master's piece said...

Yeah to be honest that is the case here too... you can't just blurt out what you did last night :D